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Master 101? - 9/3/2009 9:15:09 PM

z20904

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Is there a video or any kind of training for a new master? I'm looking for examples of what to do with BD subs and with puppy training...

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 4:08:13 AM

MsStarlett

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I'm sure you'll get plenty of links to better source material that what I would have to offer. However, I would advise you not to use the term "Master" until you have earned it. If you're just starting out, you're a Top, Dom (male) or Domme (female) - both pronounced the same, Dominant. My mentor Dom will not use the term Master for himself and he's been extremely active in the life style for over 20 years.

Now, carry on, have fun but be sure to learn all the safety precautions as well. As the Top, you are responsible for the health and well being of your Bottom (sub). There's more to it than watching a few videos and jumping in head first. You could inadvertently cause some serious damage to your sub and even to yourself if you don't know what your doing.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 6:42:56 AM

SweetNika

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A dominant is a person with a dominant aspect in their personality I don’t believe this is a trait that can be learned.

A master is a dominant with significant real life bdsm experience in my opinion. Those experiences can be within specific relationships or within the bdsm community itself.

To me these titles are not the same

If you are looking to learn a “kink” or how to do it safely. I would personally suggest seeking out a mentor that has been practicing it for a period of time. Videos and websites are nice but they lack that human interaction and response. Perhaps even interact in real life with others who do puppy play.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 7:35:39 AM

z20904

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thanks for your feedback. I'll start calling myself a Dom.
I suppose I should have provided some more info. I've actually been at this for a year (yes I know - I'm still a newbie :). I have two part time pets. I've explored quite a number of things with them including bondage (strait jackets, rope and cuffs), mumification, collar and leash play, feet & body worship, watersports, chastity, spankng, and lots of toys amongst other things.

only a small part of what we do involves them getting off.
the idea of a mentor is a great one - and I'll try to locate one on this site.

I was hoping for some good/specific references which people know are good. but I can certainly search the Internet.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 7:38:57 AM

AnimusRex

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Check out Cesar Milan- He always seems to get results.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 8:11:33 AM

SteelofUtah

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Doood, The Dog Whisperer is the SHIT man, if you watch his show, Instead of watching himi with the dogs watch him with the owners.

Thay Guys just as much a Dom as Kate Gosslin is a Domme..... Or just a controling Bitch the Jury is still out on that one.

Steel

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 8:21:22 AM

z20904

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dog whisperer? haven't seen his work. what types of dildos, handmitts, and ball gags does he use?

is there a special word he uses to get his subs into puppy space?

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 8:30:28 AM

SweetNika

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The Dog Whisper is a television show :http://www.cesarmillaninc.com/dogwhisperer/

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RE: Master 101? - 9/4/2009 9:51:18 AM

IronBear

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Actually he's not bad, we missed seeing him when he was visiting Aussie, but I have picked up a few new techniques for dog training which have worked most excellently. I agree with him needing to also train owners so they have the right mind set and remain calm. Now I know just one or two Dominants who could take lessons from him as well.

I have nothing to add to the already good advise already posted her for the OP. The ball (or two) is in his court now as to how he follows through and conducts himself.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/5/2009 7:21:35 PM

Malkinius

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Greetings z20904.....

The stuff about not calling yourself a Master until you have done it so many years is just BS. Sorry girls, there are no such rules about it. The closest there comes to a rule about it is that you combine Top/bottom, Dom/sub and Master/slave. That is not a rule, it is a convention. Some groups have different conventions and ignore what everyone else does.

As for teaching yourself how to be a Dom/Master/Top or whatever, read and study everything you can about how to do things and most importantly how not to do things for the next three to six months then throw out half of it. It will take you that long to weed through the BS and find the good stuff. Think about it this way. Is what you are about to try dangerous? Then don't do it. Think about everything you will do with someone in advance and work out what you will happen if it goes right and what will happen if it goes wrong. Do that on at least a 1 to 10 ratio. The latter is much more common for too many things. Think like an ambulance chasing lawyer and find every problem spot before it happens and decide how to prevent, mitigate or deal with it if it happens. Someone having a heart attack while you are working with them is usually very very small. Losing the handcuff key is much much more common. There may not be much you can do for the first but you can get a second key. Get the idea?

Good luck....you are going to need it.

Malkinius

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RE: Master 101? - 9/5/2009 7:27:33 PM

SweetNika

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Malkinius,
Please do not put words in my mouth. No where did I state it was rule but I did state clearly that it was my OPINION. It is how I define the two. It may not be your definition but that's fine because your definition is truly irrelivant to ME just as you say mine is bullshit to you.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/5/2009 7:40:34 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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There are classes on relationships that deal with what we do like total power exchange and mens weekends away to learn to further the affects of your dominance and techniques and stuff at a dungeon in Sanfransico called the Citadel. Lots of local dungeons and presenters and stuff teach classes about domination Mastery, building the kind of relationship you want, and other various kinky topics,I recomend checking out what your local group or those close enough to drive to have to offer in regardst o training and learning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: z20904

Is there a video or any kind of training for a new master? I'm looking for examples of what to do with BD subs and with puppy training...

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RE: Master 101? - 9/6/2009 3:15:33 AM

chellekitty

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At the BDSM Events Page they list events all over the country and even some out of the country, where you can go to classes on how to be a better Dom/Master/Top in a variety of subjects from the mental to the spiritual to the physical...one in particular is coming up called Beyond Vanilla that includes pup classes and is structured toward the beginner level with some advanced classes...

or...i believe you're in Maryland...here are some Maryland groups that may or may not hold classes or workshops that may be helpful to you...

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RE: Master 101? - 9/6/2009 8:55:15 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Greetings z20904.....

The stuff about not calling yourself a Master until you have done it so many years is just BS. Sorry girls, there are no such rules about it. The closest there comes to a rule about it is that you combine Top/bottom, Dom/sub and Master/slave. That is not a rule, it is a convention. Some groups have different conventions and ignore what everyone else does.

As for teaching yourself how to be a Dom/Master/Top or whatever, read and study everything you can about how to do things and most importantly how not to do things for the next three to six months then throw out half of it. It will take you that long to weed through the BS and find the good stuff. Think about it this way. Is what you are about to try dangerous? Then don't do it. Think about everything you will do with someone in advance and work out what you will happen if it goes right and what will happen if it goes wrong. Do that on at least a 1 to 10 ratio. The latter is much more common for too many things. Think like an ambulance chasing lawyer and find every problem spot before it happens and decide how to prevent, mitigate or deal with it if it happens. Someone having a heart attack while you are working with them is usually very very small. Losing the handcuff key is much much more common. There may not be much you can do for the first but you can get a second key. Get the idea?

Good luck....you are going to need it.

Malkinius

Some of this is correct. A good portion of it, actually. Even My leather leanings aside, I'd still be rather unsure of anyone who wanted to slap the Master title on themselves from day one, without ever having a Master/slave dynamic.

I do agree with the reading everything you can get your hands on. I'm not sure I'd throw out half of it. I would point out that I stick more with non fiction than fiction for My BDSM reading. (In other words, I don't lean towards erotica.)

This wasn't in your reply, Malkinius, but something in the follow up comment by the OP. While a Mentor can be a good idea, I wouldn't necessarily be looking for one online. Instead, I'd be looking in your local community. I'd want to know that the person had experience in a dynamic and was competent in the skills that I wanted to acquire. Let's face it. I could create a profile right now as a Master with supposedly thirty years of experience. It doesn't make it reality.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/6/2009 9:19:57 PM

Sunnyfey

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I suggest these books, they are great primers.

S&M101 and Erotic Bondage Handbook both by Jay Wiseman

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming book by Janet W Hardy

Different Loving (The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission) by William Brame

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller & Molly Devon

And last but not least by any means The Loving Dominant by CollarMe's own John and Libby Warren

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 9/6/2009 9:22:16 PM >

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RE: Master 101? - 9/6/2009 11:05:52 PM

Malkinius

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Greetings LadyPact....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Some of this is correct. A good portion of it, actually. Even My leather leanings aside, I'd still be rather unsure of anyone who wanted to slap the Master title on themselves from day one, without ever having a Master/slave dynamic.

I do agree with the reading everything you can get your hands on. I'm not sure I'd throw out half of it. I would point out that I stick more with non fiction than fiction for My BDSM reading. (In other words, I don't lean towards erotica.)

This wasn't in your reply, Malkinius, but something in the follow up comment by the OP. While a Mentor can be a good idea, I wouldn't necessarily be looking for one online. Instead, I'd be looking in your local community. I'd want to know that the person had experience in a dynamic and was competent in the skills that I wanted to acquire. Let's face it. I could create a profile right now as a Master with supposedly thirty years of experience. It doesn't make it reality.

From my understanding through reading and talking to people, what is called the 'Leather Community' takes titles much more seriously than most. Except for a few specific groups, there is no formalized and recognized progression or usage. Even the one I gave is only a somewhat generally accepted convention. I have a personal problem with self-assumed titles outside of the ones used in current polite communication. Yes, Lady as you use it is such a title unless you have the grant or patent or office that grants it. <grins> In my background, anyone who assumes such a title automatically has two strikes against them. One for doing it and one for thinking it will impress anyone favorably.

I have spent years poking into the BDSM world, mostly from the outside. I do go back to the usenet groups as a reader who almost never, if ever, posted. I think 50-75% of what I have found online is just repeats of other sources or is personal gushing about how great they are or someone else is. Read one of those and you have read 100. No, I was not including the porn. I think the ratio of signal to noise there is higher. <grins>

Like you, I could fake being a Dom with decades of experience. The difference is I don't have the decades of doing things you have. The Dom part is easier for me than for you. <grins> I won't because I don't want the reputation for lying that would bring.

I wish there were more mentors in my area. It is a good thing to have or for those who can, to do. Most people, however, are no longer willing to take the time such a process takes. They want instant knowledge and instant gratification. They don't want to take the time to learn the skills and to practice the skills of the things we do to get average at them, let alone good at them. Thus we have the instant experts....the instant fools who get chased back under the rocks they crawled out of when the people who do know what they are talking about land on them. The OP has the right mindset in at least asking for help. How much he takes remains to be seen.

Be well....

Malkinius

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RE: Master 101? - 9/7/2009 1:36:46 AM

IronBear

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List of good stuff to watch by some excellent British Masters. In deed you could learn a good deal from any or all of these:

The Goodies.
The Goons Show (sound tracks only).
Are you being Served?
Yes Minister

And for the Use folk:

The Marks Bros.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 9/7/2009 1:38:38 AM >

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Master 101? - 9/7/2009 7:02:40 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Greetings LadyPact....

I wish there were more mentors in my area. It is a good thing to have or for those who can, to do. Most people, however, are no longer willing to take the time such a process takes. They want instant knowledge and instant gratification. They don't want to take the time to learn the skills and to practice the skills of the things we do to get average at them, let alone good at them. Thus we have the instant experts....the instant fools who get chased back under the rocks they crawled out of when the people who do know what they are talking about land on them. The OP has the right mindset in at least asking for help. How much he takes remains to be seen.

Be well....

Malkinius

Hello Malkinius,

I wish there were more Mentors everywhere. I think that you're correct that a lot of people want instantaneous knowledge and skill. In turn, that has turned some folks off from teaching. That's a cycle that tends to feed into itself.

I think part of what we're seeing is the second surge of people interested in BDSM. The first, of course, was the net. The second seems to be mass media. They have found that BDSM grabs headlines, gets ratings, sells movies and music. It sparks interest even in those who wouldn't have sought it out otherwise. I was in town just the other day and noticed a magazine with national distribution where the cover story was bad girl sex. There's no denying that sex, especially taboo sex, sells. We seem to be the hot ticket.

The problem with this influx, of course, is that it is harder to distinguish who is seriously interested in learning and who isn't. Often, that one person out of a hundred who really wants this has their voice squelched by the 99 who are just clamoring for the moment in their passing thought. After a while, it becomes easy for those who teach to become jaded.

I'm guilty of this Myself. Only on rare exceptions will I go out of My way to teach anything electronically. I want, at minimum, the dedication of someone willing to show up. I want an investment. I want to see that this is something that is really wanted. Otherwise, I take it with a grain of salt.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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