stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
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As you go through these boards, the profiles, the threads, attend munches, clubs, events, meet with your dom, your sub, others, just as in life, how can you be sure that what you see is as it really is, or that it's an illusion?
How many of you when picking up a flogger or being flogged over the foot of the bed actually pause for a moment and ask 'Why am I doing this?' 'Why do I need this?' or even 'Is this all there is?'
How many times do we stop and pause for reflection, and ask 'Why am I...?' 'Why do I...?'
It can be said that life happens in stages and relationships occur in cycles. We send off messages in hope, most don't come back, a few get through, people come into our lives, situations arise, friendships form, questions are answered, and relationships are created, enjoyed and lost. And we learn. Or we don't. What is it that brings us together? What is it that divides us?
Ever wondered what brought you here in the first place? What brings you here? Why do you keep coming back? Do you know what you are looking for? Can you find it? Have you found it?
Things happen not always logically, and it can be said that people seek to come into your life not always for the right reasons. Our lives are shaped by our experiences, what we know, what we do, what we have achieved, by the people we have met and the relationships we have created, shared and lost. So many things going on in our lives, in our heads, and it all comes out through what we believe, what we know, what we say, we write, and what we do. And people see this, and they either understand, or they don't, and they respond.
Every so often something happens, a situation arises, someone comes into our life, there is some interaction, and it doesn't fit the shape or conform to the pattern. And all of a sudden you have a sense of relief, a penny dropping moment, fresh awareness and you move on. Sometimes you find yourself blocked, hindered, things all of a sudden become difficult, tense, and before you know it you're dealing with a crisis in your life or in your relationship.
Life. 'Shit happens' we say. Only it isn't shit. It's a challenge, it's a test, and either you pass it and get through, rising to the challenge, or you don't and it all falls apart. And the thing is, you either try and struggle to get through it, you try your best, but you don't see it, and the situation keeps coming back, and that fresh start and new relationship with this new person all of a sudden turns out to be just like the last one, and the one before that. And it will until you somehow find a way to get through to another stage in life or break that cycle.
Days pass, Monday, Tuesday through to Friday and the weekend, and the weeks become shorter, as do the months and finally the years. You start to wonder 'Is this really all there is?' You also maybe wonder if you are living for just one situation in your life, a year, a time, a place, a person and the rest of the time you are spending preparing and waiting for that moment. You may also notice that some opportunities you have been presented and missed don't come back, some people go from your life and never come back, and even the way you come across to others which once attracted people to you stops working or isn't quite so effective.
And then you wake up one morning and you suddenly realize that life is getting much easier, or you reply to a message or write one, someone gets in touch, and all of a sudden it's different, you're riding an emotional roller-coaster through days, weeks, months and before you know it three years have passed and you're still together, you're both still happy, and it all comes together so well you can actually start practising your grunt and preparing for old age.
Is this destiny? Is this the truth? Or is it just another illusion? Could it not be that life hasn't got any easier, life is still the same, but you have grown as a person and have just got better at living? Is your relationship that much deeper, or is it more that you have tried a bit harder, asked more questions, and have become better at maintaining a successful relationship? It might also just be that you've taken a harder look at yourself, a harder look at other people, and just arrived at a different conclusion or even formed a whole new mindset or philosophy on life or relationships.
But then let's just look for a moment at those moments of realization, those penny dropping moments. Where did they come from? How many times have we heard it said that 'the only constant in your relationships is you'? Does this really always apply? Or is it sometimes the case that someone has inspired you, someone has said something, or written something here, and it's somehow resonated with you, caused you to stop and think, and that person had taught you something? Or at least made you aware, perhaps of something you feel you should have known years ago.
Now it's your turn.. What lessons have you learned in this BDSM School of Life? Has there been anyone who has taught you something? Inspired you? Has there been something that you have learned yourself simply through trial and error?
Care to share one of your major penny-dropping moments? What was it? And how did it impact on your life and your relationships?
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