Collaring without influence

Collaring without influence (Full Version)

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sandra25 -> Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:21:38 AM)
Dear all, Concerning most Mistresses (and Masters) a true slave allows his or her owner to cross some of their boudaries. As a result of this, I am questioning myself whether a true slave is allowed to say 'no' whenever someone desires to collar him/her? In short I would say a true slave would, on the other hand....

KYsissy -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:27:49 AM)
I would think that the decision to accept a collar is with the sub. Once collared however . . .

Lashra -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:29:09 AM)
D/s or M/s relationships are just like vanilla in that you have to know and trust your partner. If some Josephine Shmoe walks up to a slave and says Your mine and tries to slap a collar on them, I hope the slave will have the intelligence to say "no". There are predators out there and a slave has to protect themselves. If they do not do it for themselves then who will do it? I have a #1 rule for my sub, protect yourself even if from me. That is first and foremost. A slave has a mind they should use it to their advantage and for their survival. ~Lashra

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:30:13 AM)
There is no true or real or right in BDSM. What is perfect for one, is not for another. All is relative to the person talking. I personally don't see how a slave who does not want to be collared can be collared so yes, obviously a slave can say no to being collared. Slavery isn't legally binding, so how can a slave contract be upheld? How could a slave be collared by just anyone who wants to collar him/her? They can't.

CarrieO -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:40:44 AM)
sandra25... I'm confused by your post. Are you suggesting that to be a "true" slave you have no say as to who can/will collar you? If so, could you explain why you feel that? I'm also wondring why you think a slave can't say no to someone. Would you allow someone you've never met to snap a collar around your neck and expect you to follow, no questions asked, just because you label yourself as a slave?

DarkSteven -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:49:36 AM)
There's a myth that slaves cannot choose who collars them. Said myth is perpetuated by koffkoff "Doms" that otherwise could not get anyone to even speak to them. A slave has value. He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 5:56:44 AM)
What a load of bull Steven...slaves are there in cages and are put up for auction on slave-ebay all the time[8D] but in all seriousness...I can't stand the "true" blahblahblah bollox n the limitless&nochoice slaves [>:] yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....[8\|]

RavenMuse -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 6:02:51 AM)
Cart before horse.... A slave or sub isn't slave or sub to just any random dickwad who maybe capitalise their name. From when I INSPIRED her submission she hasn't had the authority to say no to Me but any other girl, slave, sub, whatever out there with whom I don't have that Dynamic... she isn't My slave, I am not their Master and "no" is quite applicable!

CarrieO -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 6:13:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven A slave has value. He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her. You know, its funny but if you substitute person for slave and partner for owner that phrase could almost sound vanilla. I see this as just good old common sense. Just because people use words like "slave', "owner", "lifestyle", bdsm or D/s doesn't mean common sense should fly out the window. OP, this is all still just two (or more if you're poly) people interacting within the confines of a relationship, be it friendship/play partners/or more. That's just my take on things FWIW.

Acer49 -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 7:59:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sandra25 Dear all, Concerning most Mistresses (and Masters) a true slave allows his or her owner to cross some of their boudaries. As a result of this, I am questioning myself whether a true slave is allowed to say 'no' whenever someone desires to collar him/her? In short I would say a true slave would, on the other hand.... Until such time as you are collared, you are under no obligation to do anything you do not desire to

LadyPact -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 8:37:14 AM)
Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life. Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them?

Andalusite -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 8:46:09 AM)
Anyone who expects random strangers to accept a relationship with them or perform sexually for them is rude and ignorant. Many slaves don't feel drawn to such folks at all, while a few tend to respond with submission toward everyone, and need someone else to set boundaries for them.

PlayfulWhenUsed -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 10:05:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven A slave has value. He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her. You know, its funny but if you substitute person for slave and partner for owner that phrase could almost sound vanilla. I see this as just good old common sense. Just because people use words like "slave', "owner", "lifestyle", bdsm or D/s doesn't mean common sense should fly out the window. I really, really agree. When people start thinking about what "true submission" is or what "true slavery" is, things always get silly. What happens in the scene is often very intense, but it is still a shadow of the things that we are borrowing terms from, *and good thing too*. You cannot actually sell your slave. You cannot sell your slave's children. You cannot hang your slave to death for stealing a fork or some food or just because you feel like it.

shadowowl -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 10:29:56 AM)
Slave "true" or otherwise always has at least 1 right and that is who collars them. after that they have 2 rights by law. to obey or leave. no one can take any of those rights away from anyone without breaking criminal laws in all but a few countries. Everything else is determined by the individuals involved.

PeonForHer -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 10:56:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life. Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them? Except at a slave auction, maybe. There, slaves don't get to say 'no'.

PlayfulWhenUsed -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 10:56:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shadowowl Slave "true" or otherwise always has at least 1 right and that is who collars them. after that they have 2 rights by law. to obey or leave. no one can take any of those rights away from anyone without breaking criminal laws in all but a few countries. Everything else is determined by the individuals involved. Well, yes, that is the point of course. If you are thinking about sort of the most literal possible meanings of words, then a "True Slave" would not have the right to leave, and that is a very big deal.

DarkSteven -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 4:37:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....[8\|] Because of my deep and abiding love for you, I have flushed out the toilet.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 8:16:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....[8\|] Because of my deep and abiding love for you, I have flushed out the toilet. haha Too funny!!

Andalusite -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/9/2009 9:33:36 PM)
DarkSteven, between you and Playful's comment about being literal, I'm picturing you frozen in a bird-dog "point" at the toilet while it flies away![:D] shadowowl, I don't think that obeying in the context of a M/s relationship is considered a legal "right." The government doesn't really care whether or not we obey our partners, and won't prosecute us for failing to do so. Some M/s relationships are set up so that one disobedience is sufficient to dissolve it. In my relationship with my Master, he has not made that ultimatum, and I wouldn't have become owned by him if he had set up a "One strike and you're out" rule. You're right that a slave cannot legally be prevented from leaving the relationship, though. Peon, the only real slave auctions I'm aware of are the ones that are held to benefit charity. The slaves are allowed to say no, the people just bid to be able to negotiate with them rather than an outright promise of play or sex.

LadyPact -> RE: Collaring without influence (9/11/2009 5:31:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life. Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them? Except at a slave auction, maybe. There, slaves don't get to say 'no'. At any that I've ever participated in, that is not correct.

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