Should i tell the new Sir or not?

Should i tell the new Sir or not? (Full Version)

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Jade4Wings -> Should i tell the new Sir or not? (8/27/2004 5:21:20 PM)
i am just dating or seeking new Sir, i am not collared but am tasking to see if i am worthy for consideration, and i do not need the Sir i seek to worry over me. Part of me says forget it have a good time and the other part is upset and feels venerable i have Sirs e-mail and cell phone but still do not want to bother Him in his family crisis. Am i being too careful? Here is my situation withe the "OLD DOM" i am in a real group that meets in real life (for fun) and within hours of my telling the old wannabe Dom. to leave me alone again, his playmate and/or slaves name appeared in the members list for the next meeting (private invite and needs approval by owners). Would you call this a coincidence? As this person and her friend say it is. What is your input? She claims she does not know him but admits it is her face on His profile as a reference. Could this be an accident that she signed up for this group after all these months when she did within hrs of the last contact with Him. she then went on to state things of him and his pattern only a slave in training with him would know. i pray this is understandable do you think it is by an accident she picked this group of all the groups.. and i did suspect the man who is her friend of knowing the old one but kept my mouth shut. What advice would you give your subs.? Respectfully jade

Estring -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 5:44:22 PM)
It is amazing how in denial people can be sometimes. Are you going to ignore the red flags that are staring you in the face? The whole situation just seems wierd to me. Why are you interested in being considered by an old Dom wannabe anyway? You already know there is a problem, yet want us to reassure you. We can't.

Jade4Wings -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 5:52:52 PM)
RE: It is amazing how in denial people can be sometimes. Are you going to ignore the red flags that are staring you in the face? The whole situation just seems wierd to me. Why are you interested in being considered by an old Dom wannabe anyway? You already know there is a problem, yet want us to reassure you. We can't Sir, I have not seen the old Sir in months. He contacted me by mail. perhaps read my post carefully. i am now with a Dom of 15++ yrs. and many reference. My queston is should i tell the new dom i seek? or just ignore it till it fades as this group is important t the new Dom i seek. With all due repect Sir please re read it. Repectfully jade

RealityFix -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 6:01:39 PM)
Tell him after his crisis is taken care of. And fade back from the group for now. It's obvious that his new girl is the old guy's back up,and is now being presented as your replacement,now that he knows you are in fact,done. From what you say, he's been keeping her in reserve for some time now. Not much you can do about that, but continue to ignore them both. The last thing you need to do is inflict a toxic ex on the New Master, and ruin that as well. Advise him of the situation when he's under less stress,and just keep out of the fray in the meantime. How he chooses to deal with it will be his decision. Regards,Terry

Jade4Wings -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 6:08:07 PM)
Thank - you for your advice. i asked for releasement long ago (4 mos) and he showed up when i started seeking again. i almost fell for it. i know how important this group is to the Sir i seek and too know the old Sir had parked out by my home 3 xs this week. So yes, it upsets me He seems not to understand No is no i do not wish Him.

Estring -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 6:09:34 PM)
Boy that was some confusing post. Lol. I had no idea there were two Doms in the story. You explained it much clearer the second time. I don't see any reason not to tell the new Dom. If it is no big deal to you, it won't be to him.

Jade4Wings -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 6:11:02 PM)
Sir, I thought it was confusing for You (too long). I am very new to being a sub.. and got hurt by a wantabee. i now am with someone i care about and don't want to mess up. Respectfully Jade

subbiejenn -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not? (8/27/2004 7:39:16 PM)
still confused but wanted to wish you well Jade smiles

Estring -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 8:50:49 PM)
Ok, now I understand. I would tell the new Dom. He may be able to "convince" the old one to leave you alone. Ignore the old one and in time he will get the message. Good luck.

Destinysskeins -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/27/2004 9:11:43 PM)
slips into the Master's forum begging Their pardon [:D] Greetings, i would agree with Estring...tell Your new (or soon to be) Dom about it. First of all, i'm sure He'll have much more luck in persuading this past Dom wish washy wanna be thing to move along. Very often these types think that submissives can be manipulated easily and will keep pushing at you while He's likely to fall back much quicker with a real Dom backing you. (the whole cave man grunting and show of force thing [;)]) Second of all, you mentioned not wanting to say anything to Him because of some crisis in His family. IMO, this might actually work to make Him feel better.....when things are happening in our lives that we can't control or fix doesn't it feel good to actually grab hold of another situation and control it/fix it? He might just welcome the distraction plus this could be the start of a strong, healthy foundation for the two of you. He'll see that you are willing to trust His judgement and rely upon His strength. And i believe that can make both of you more happy and secure with each other Well wishes curtseys her thanks to all the Domly types

TheSadisticOne -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/28/2004 2:35:05 AM)
jade4 . . . whats done is done. the wannabe leaves a bad taste in My mouth because he obviously lacks integrity and maturity...stalking tactics are a sure sign of an immaturity...be careful with this one. that your 'replacement' came on-your-heels so to speak, tells Me and everyone else reading this exactly what this knucklehead is up to. let your new Dom know exactly what is going on...everything...and your concerns. He will understand and will make any 'necessary adjustments' to insure his slaves safety. your life is now with Him and expanding His comfort zone with your service and loyality. I'm sure if the idiot wannabe needs a clear message, your new Dom will convey it in no uncertain terms. the problem with the apparent flood of wannabe's in O/our lifestyle is that they they lack the training and understanding of real Dom/mes and tend to leave subs they are with confused and untrusting of all Dom/mes. good luck with your new Dom . . .

MrThorns -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/28/2004 11:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jade4Wings Sir, I thought it was confusing for You (too long). I am very new to being a sub.. and got hurt by a wantabee. i now am with someone i care about and don't want to mess up. Respectfully Jade If you don't want to mess it up, why would you even consider not discussing this with him? You're already placing a block on your communication...bad mojo. ~Thorns

Jade4Wings -> RE: i come here to seek advice from Dom/mmes (8/28/2004 2:19:42 PM)
Update: For All those who posted up to this texting. Dom/mmes and Sub/slaves Hi thanks for Your advice (everyone's). Well, i am taking my time so this is clear and understandable. Thank for Your patience. [:)] 1 The old wannabe Dom wrote me again, i responded with leave me be and i met Your reference slave/playmate and spoke with Her and to please leave me alone. 2. The slave/playmate of hers contacted me by IM (due to a person we both knew told her to contact me as i was upset she was in the group). So we talked and she told me things only a slave in training would know about him. She said it was her photo on his reference but she did not add it or put that text there that she only met him once in the car. Then she slipped said she needed to get something's from him. She was told by me i contacted him and told him we talked .. she went pouf on the ims at that time and it was obvious she was upset. Yet, she told me it was OK to contact him and say so last night. 3. i know now looking over this i should not worry. He is in the same group He will not let harm come to me, so why worry it is not worth it. So tonight (after this texting) i am off to a meeting to meet BDSM group and behave and not gossip. i am going to let this ly and be the better person that i can be. After all i trust him. i will tell Him when Sir (new Dom) gets back.. to my state, but in person. Thanks for helping, me though the past days. ( i am a new subbie and am trying) Respectfully jade

ScorpioMaster -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not? (8/30/2004 11:53:56 AM)
Let your new sir know the situation and keep attending the group. Being part of a group is important when it comes to your safety. Groups are a way for you to weed out wanabees and for your own safety. Groups are good for you learn from each other and you can grow more. I been attending different munches and some groups for a long time and I have learn allot from the different advice I get from those who are true the lifestyle. Be safe and well. :)

Jade4Wings -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not?sScorpioSir (8/31/2004 9:24:49 PM)
this one told Him some, His Mom died it is not the time.i will tell Him when He has time for this one and He decides it is time to talk, when He needs me He will let me know and i will tell Him. Too much has happend the past 12 days. it seems like 30 days not 12 but i miss Him. i am moving and i too have a Dad who is ill and may die soon, i found this out Sat, he too lives far away....so this has been a hard month yet... He still is out of state. i think he is seeking others ... i am not sure... but He needs to find what He needs so i will be try to be patient and if this one is not for He i will not be mad but remember what He taught me so far. *smile. Yet, to meet a man who can consume me is wonderful and though each experience there is much wisdom. in time... in time i will tell Him when He needs me as i am only a slave who needs to serve Him and in time i will find out if He feels i am worthy .. in time.. i am not collared or close to it and i am in no rush but.. this tasking is hard ... but i need Him but the question is... Does He see in me what He needs. i am not collared... i can seek and have had many mails but in my heart i can't He first was my friend, then got in this ones mind, now He has entered my soul, Does He know .. i am sure, but He is wise so i think He knows. i went to the group and found nice people.. i felt at home and the hosts were wonderful. i truly know i am to serve. it felt good to know i am following the right path.... not the left. Repectfully, jade

kirameaMW -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not?sScorpioSir (9/11/2004 10:45:07 AM)
One of the things i would do is keep all communication from your old dom and his alledged slave. i would also document every time you see his car parked in front of your house or any other time you see him following you. If he calls you, document that also and what he says to you. You may well have a stalker on your hands, and this will help you if you ever need to file charges on him. Also, if you have already told this dom that you no longer want contact with him, by law he is cyber-stalking you. Other than that, i wouldn't bother your Dom unless you are unable to handle it. He has enough on his plate at the moment.

Laura -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not? (9/11/2004 11:11:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subbiejenn still confused but wanted to wish you well Jade smiles Glad I'm not the only one confused. :) Like Jenn, I wish you well. Try to keep things from getting that complicated again.

Sinergy -> RE: Should i tell the new Sir or not? (9/11/2004 9:39:11 PM)
I am confused. Are you in a relationship with person X where you owe them the truth? I am trying to figure out from reading your post what exactly you are looking for, and not finding it. :( Sinergy

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