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RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 10:07:42 AM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

personally, and this is only MY thoughts on it....if someone places A LOT of emphasis on what others are calling them...no matter if it is family, friends or strangers...then they have no fucking backbone and aren't worth the time it takes to notice them

i disagree.

The opinion of strangers means nothing at all to me. But the opinion of friends and certain family members can stop me in my tracks. I firmly believe we do not always see ourselves as others see us, and do not always recognize our own

behavior for what it really is.

"No fucking backbone"? On the contrary, IrishMist. I feel i have a great deal of backbone to listen to the criticism of those i trust and take their words to heart.

So, you are telling me that if a family member told you that you were worthless, you would suddenly start to believe that you are worthless?
You are telling me that you would not stop, look at them, and say fuck you, I am not wortless?

Is that what you are telling me?

When a person places too much emphasis on what OTHERS are telling them, and does not stop to stand up for themselves...Yes, they have no backbone and are not woth my time.

totally agrees with holly an potty on this one, jesus christ you mean to say, if a family member or close friend told ya, hey are you ok, youve been acting strange lately. Youd say fuck off. Personally i want those whom i hold close to me to tell me whatever they think i need to hear.
you must be kidding first of all i cant imagine anyone whom we hold close telling us we are worthless ,and secondly of course that is not what she meant!

_____________________________

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(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 21

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 10:29:16 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

A stranger, a family member, a friend...it does not matter...if they can't stand for themselves and fight for themselves in this context...they have no backbone and are not worth the time. That includes just general comments.

A person needs to be able to defend themselves, against anyone; physical, verbal, emotional...there are no excuses for hanging your head and hiding in self pity.

Try being transgendered and 'out' (or gay or lesbian for that matter) No choice, that backbone gets created. Well, there is a choice I guess, you either end up like me and many others, or you might end up like Dagmara who I once knew who threw herself under an express train at the age of 23.

If I took issue with everyone who gave it the large I'd either be frequently arguing, or have a criminal record, fewer teeth, maybe the odd broken bone and ruined facial features (and I'm ugly enough without making it any worse). But you know most of the time I'm either dealing with a complete numpty or someone who resents the fact I'm being myself because if they did the same there'd be much more than a skid mark in their underwear.

I don't hang my head or wallow in self-pity. Sometimes it gets on my tits, and I admit that. But usually I figure that if you argue with an idiot other people won't be able to tell the difference, I smile sweetly, and move on.

And quite often the best reaction is no reaction. It throws them completely.

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(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 22

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 10:46:01 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Steven I don't care and,.........my "carbon footprint" is ENOURMOUS!

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 23

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 10:55:05 AM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There've been posts about what complete Internet strangers call you. "You're not a true Dom/sub" is the usual gist, although Nika reported one person calling her an "animal hoarder".

Now if a family member or longtime friend said something like that to me, I'd take notice, but somebody about whom I know nothing...

Is this part of being a D or s type, that an s type is more concerned about others?

Just curious about others' takes.

Eh.. my usual response to when someone says I am/am not something is this: "And you know this how, again?"

Water off a ducks back, man.

I know who I am. If someone wants to take the time to get to know that. Thats cool. I appreciate it, and I respect it.

If not, no harm, no foul.

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 24

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:04:04 AM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I frankly do not care what other people think of me, especially some faceless text on my monitor. I have noticed that SOME s types do seem to be very concerned about what others think about them, enough so that they cannot even put a harasser on ignore/block because they cannot stand the thought of blocking someone.

~Lashra

Actually, (and I don't know how accurate this is) but I have a theory on why that may be true:

It's entirely possible, especially at a social function, that one D type may meet another D type, and a person may come up during a conversation.

Like.. say for example You, Lady Pact and I were at a function. (Sorry about that, but those are the only 3 people who I could come up with on short notice)

Neither one of use knew the other was there.

You and Lady Pact happen to strike up a conversation.

Maybe someone there has caught Your eye.
Maybe You're bantering back and forth about a new toy.

Whatever.

In casual passing You happen to mention a bad experience with a sub that happened recently. Lets say this sub was beligerent & disrespectful. This catches Lady Pacts attention. She asks more detailed questions, and through that, comes to find out that the person You are talking about, is me. Now, prior to this, Lady Pact and I have been talking - nothing major, just exchanging a few emails.

With the above example, I can sort of understand why some people DO care. It could have repercussions down the line when it comes to meeting new people. A good example of word of mouth going horribly wrong.

Just my thoughts.

~BP~

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 25

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:12:07 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

**Eta, are you saying IM that if someone said to you you're kind of harsh you'd tell them to fuck themself?

I do not know Irish Mist personally but having been someone who has said something similar to her here before, I can tell you that, yes, she would and has

luci

PS - I'm kidding. She really didn't tell me to "go fuck myself." It was a surprisingly nicer euphemism, I think

Seriously, though, she doesn't respond to a critique of her attitude by changing it to suit the one doing the critiquing. Believe that

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 9/11/2009 11:13:43 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 26

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:15:29 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

I think it takes a STRONG person to listen to others opinions, think about what they've said & if they think the person's correct do something about it.
It's the weak who'll always think they're right and everyone else is wrong. They're the one's who should be "hanging their head". I see no strength in character in that frame of mine.

Very well said, potty. Sums my thoughts up rather nicely.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 27

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:24:55 AM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

Some times I'm amazed by how much some people here can prodject(stares glaringly at desflip),Like you could insert a film reel into their head and watch a movie on the wall through their noose. And others seem to be completely deviod of humanity or jaded to hell about every one and every thing they encounter.In any case, it doesn't bother me all that much, in fact I get alot of entertainment out of it, but occasionaly I find my self alienated from the very people I'm trying to "fit in" with, which of course brings on dissapointment and feelings of rejection,that makes my self some what jaded to hell about every one and every thing I encounter...so the cycle continues and I troll some one for a little while before approaching another individual or group.

Of course like everywhere else, there's a whole lot of mean spirited assholes, but those provide the most entertainment, and I wouldn't have it any other way......

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 28

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:31:07 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Nope. I don't think being a D or s type has a thing to do with it. I have found that D's get the same knotted up panty wads that s's get.
It's a people thing. I am an s type. I don't let anything that strangers tell me bother me.
In fact it sometimes amuses me to know I have gotten a negative reaction. I rather enjoy thinking that my thoughts put a knot somewhere.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There've been posts about what complete Internet strangers call you. "You're not a true Dom/sub" is the usual gist, although Nika reported one person calling her an "animal hoarder".

Now if a family member or longtime friend said something like that to me, I'd take notice, but somebody about whom I know nothing...

Is this part of being a D or s type, that an s type is more concerned about others?

Just curious about others' takes.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 29

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:37:19 AM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Minor irritation aside, I don't care about random poo bombs from strangers on the internet. I try to be a lady and not reciporcate, however. Ya know, da pet ought to just break bad one day. That'll teach em! LOL Shyeah right!

lovingpet

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 30

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 11:50:06 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

personally, and this is only MY thoughts on it....if someone places A LOT of emphasis on what others are calling them...no matter if it is family, friends or strangers...then they have no fucking backbone and aren't worth the time it takes to notice them

i disagree.

The opinion of strangers means nothing at all to me. But the opinion of friends and certain family members can stop me in my tracks. I firmly believe we do not always see ourselves as others see us, and do not always recognize our own behavior for what it really is.

"No fucking backbone"? On the contrary, IrishMist. I feel i have a great deal of backbone to listen to the criticism of those i trust and take their words to heart.

So, you are telling me that if a family member told you that you were worthless, you would suddenly start to believe that you are worthless?
You are telling me that you would not stop, look at them, and say fuck you, I am not wortless?

Is that what you are telling me?

When a person places too much emphasis on what OTHERS are telling them, and does not stop to stand up for themselves...Yes, they have no backbone and are not woth my time.

well see...i said certain family members. There are ones that share my DNA that will never get a chance to tell me i am worthless, as i would never give them the time of day.

I am talking about those i TRUST, Irish. And i did not say i absolutely believe their opinion, or that it is gospel. If a close friend tells me "hey Hols...you are acting like an ass" then i would stop and reevaluate my actions. Trust me Darlin'...i do have people in my life who have said that to me. Sometimes i blow it off, sometimes i take it to heart, but ALWAYS, because of the trust i have for these people, i will stop and reexamine the situation.

_____________________________

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(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 31

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 12:00:48 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

So, you are telling me that if a family member told you that you were worthless, you would suddenly start to believe that you are worthless?
You are telling me that you would not stop, look at them, and say fuck you, I am not wortless?

Is that what you are telling me?

When a person places too much emphasis on what OTHERS are telling them, and does not stop to stand up for themselves...Yes, they have no backbone and are not woth my time.

<

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

personally, and this is only MY thoughts on it....if someone places A LOT of emphasis on what others are calling them...no matter if it is family, friends or strangers...then they have no fucking backbone and aren't worth the time it takes to notice them

i disagree.

The opinion of strangers means nothing at all to me. But the opinion of friends and certain family members can stop me in my tracks. I firmly believe we do not always see ourselves as others see us, and do not always recognize our own behavior for what it really is.

"No fucking backbone"? On the contrary, IrishMist. I feel i have a great deal of backbone to listen to the criticism of those i trust and take their words to heart.

So, you are telling me that if a family member told you that you were worthless, you would suddenly start to believe that you are worthless?
You are telling me that you would not stop, look at them, and say fuck you, I am not wortless?

Is that what you are telling me?

When a person places too much emphasis on what OTHERS are telling them, and does not stop to stand up for themselves...Yes, they have no backbone and are not woth my time.

and one more thing Irish (after reading a few of your other posts). You are taking this to the extreme with the example of "You are worthless!!"

I have had things said to me that i did not like and did not want to hear, yet benefited because my mind was open enough to realize they were things i needed to hear.

I am a hothead, and can act impulsively when i get a bug up my butt. I thank God i have people in my world who trust our relationship enough to know it will withstand criticism. I have been told in no uncertain terms to sit down, shut up and re-evaluate because i was being a total horses ass. Did i like it? Want to hear it? Of course not. But i needed to hear it and it caused me to reassess

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 32

RE: Why do you care? - 9/11/2009 1:28:57 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Also, the thread indicates someone you don't know. I might care what a friend or family member tells me if I know them well. But.. I gotta say that HOLY SHIT. Who knows the kind of people that would say things like Irish indicates? They would have been out the door and far from my life so as they become those anonymous strangers who supposedly offend us online.
Either I am very lucky, or I have learned the skills to keep those kind of BS people far from my life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

one more thing Irish (after reading a few of your other posts). You are taking this to the extreme with the example of "You are worthless!!"

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 33

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 3:36:58 AM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

if someone with no profile said anything they aren't "real" so technically nothing has been said. I count someone whom opens an account just to snark as having no profile.

They really aren't anything more than the hookers for the Ghana Gangs or the Serbian slutburgers working for the slavic mafias.

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I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

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Post #: 34

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 6:04:03 AM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

personally, and this is only MY thoughts on it....if someone places A LOT of emphasis on what others are calling them...no matter if it is family, friends or strangers...then they have no fucking backbone and aren't worth the time it takes to notice them

i disagree.

The opinion of strangers means nothing at all to me. But the opinion of friends and certain family members can stop me in my tracks. I firmly believe we do not always see ourselves as others see us, and do not always recognize our own behavior for what it really is.

"No fucking backbone"? On the contrary, IrishMist. I feel i have a great deal of backbone to listen to the criticism of those i trust and take their words to heart.

_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.

see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 35

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 6:05:58 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ja, well here is the thing.........

I don't fucking care. End of joke, right there....

Ron

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Post #: 36

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 6:09:36 AM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Who said anything about "hanging their head in self pity"? I think it takes a STRONG person to listen to others opinions, think about what they've said & if they think the person's correct do something about it.
It's the weak who'll always think they're right and everyone else is wrong. They're the one's who should be "hanging their head". I see no strength in character in that frame of mine.

Very well said !

_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.

see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 37

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 10:47:51 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

One of my Israeli cousins is just here for a year, for a year work/study to finish his PhD.

I love him, we all do. But for the first time he's going to be having to deal with faculty dinners etc, stuff a forest ranger doesn't normally encounter. We all had dinner and then turned on him and his wife because they have no formal dinner manners.

Oddly enough, he didn't turn on us all with a great big fuck you. He accepted the criticism and asked for a quick lesson so he'll do well. Of course when he gets home and back to the big family reunions, he'll return to grabbing food quick before it runs out.

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(in reply to scarlethiney)

Post #: 38

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 11:02:51 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Actually this jives with something I was talking with my daughter about yesterday as we walked to the grocery store. One of the areas where my ex-wife and I differed was that she was (and still is) always worried what other people think,while I just don't give a damn. Pretty much never have. Yes I hope my friends and family think well of me, but I wouldn't alter my behaviour in order to win their approval...it just doesn't matter to me.

So to answer your question,why do I care? I don't.

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Post #: 39

RE: Why do you care? - 9/12/2009 12:13:44 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There've been posts about what complete Internet strangers call you. "You're not a true Dom/sub" is the usual gist, although Nika reported one person calling her an "animal hoarder".

Now if a family member or longtime friend said something like that to me, I'd take notice, but somebody about whom I know nothing...

Is this part of being a D or s type, that an s type is more concerned about others?

Just curious about others' takes.

Pure drama......complete pantomime.....the cast are here......there's the big bad wolf.......the damsel/s in distress.......and the knights in white shining armour.....just sit back and watch the whole sorry episode unfold.....quite embarrassing really.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 40

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