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Pain limits - 9/12/2009 9:33:08 AM   
slavecjd


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		dunno if this the right place to post but i had a terrible problem last night as i could not take the punishment dished out by my Sir.  I normally have a high pain threshold and can take his 50 srokes with a cane crop or flogger with minimul wriggling and moving, but last night i could not take 5 or 10, just burst into tears and crumpled!!  Has anyone else ever suffered this, i was so dissapointed to let my Sir down.
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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 10:19:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		That time of the month? Coming down with a cold? Possible lay off from work?

Everything is connected to everything. Does he want a real person or a robot? If he wants a real person, then there's nothing to be ashamed of, because this is what happens to real people. It's called life.

If he wants a robot, tell him to shop elsewhere.

And what were you being punished for? Inquiring minds want to know.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to slavecjd)
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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 12:37:11 PM   
slavecjd


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		punishment was for not meeting Sir when he requested, i had family comitments and had to say no i could not serve him as well as being over familier with freinds on this site.

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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 1:05:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How long have you known him? Does your mother know you're a slave to him? If you tell her, what will your family's response be?

Deliberately setting you up so either you are in trouble with him or with your family is a bad thing. If it's in an attempt to lessen your family connections, to isolate you, then it is particularly bad.

Would he have punished you if you blew off getting a cavity fixed because he decided he couldn't wait a couple hours for a blow job? Are you supposed to not go to work when he wants you for something?

Here, this would be a reason to straighten out communication. If I have to go visit my elderly father, I sure as hell don't get punished for it. If he's available, he'll join me. Usually he'll give me a ride to the train station and back. I also don't get punished if I tell him I have to go watch my son's basketball game or pick him up from school.

You need a clear communication about destroying your life. You've known your family for 42 years. How long have you known him? And when he breaks off with you again, you will still need your family there for you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 1:31:37 PM   
slavecjd


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		thankyou, i know what you are saying, i think it was frustartion for him, he knows about my comitments as i care for my mother who is terminally ill.  He always says family come first but i think he was just so wound up my rejection was too much.  I took a whipping on monday for being a real slut on cm when talking to some people on messages, and i think thats why i am so sensitive as well as worry about upcomming redundancy.  At least my not dealing and sobbing brought out his caring side and i was hugged and held till i calmed down. I will try to comunicate with him more and when i get job sorted hopefully my pain threshold will rise again.  thanks for nice message

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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 1:37:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Frustration or not, punishing you because you're taking care of your dying mother is totally unacceptable.
If he's frustrated, then how do you feel?
Will he punish you after she dies, when you're too torn up from grief for months on end to want sex or play?

Talk about it now. Because this to me would be reasons to withdraw consent and submission. I might still bottom for him, but I wouldn't agree to submit to someone who is out of control when it comes to a life and death issue.

As far as what you're going through, have you contacted Hospice? They can help with some of the mundane issues as well as caregiver respite and just someone to talk to who is a grief therapist. Very helpful. And I'm so sorry for you. My mother's slow death from cancer was just devastating.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 1:38:25 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavecjd

he knows about my comitments as i care for my mother who is terminally ill. 
He punished you because of your commitment to care for your terminally ill mother?  Wow, what a gem!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 5:13:34 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavecjd

he knows about my comitments as i care for my mother who is terminally ill.



This is your primary focus right now and he really should be insisting on it being so. This is not the time for all this and I really think your pain tolerance is the least of your worries. I can tell you right now what caused your intolerance. You are concerned and grieving your mother, exaughsted from caring for her, and felt unjustly punished. I can't imagine why you couldn't take the cane strokes! Really!

Family first? He needs to put his money where his mouth is and not get all pissy when you have to take care of your dying mother. If he can't handle that, he needs to move on or put everything on hold until you are on the other side of all this. I would have lost a great deal of respect for him at this point personally. How is your trust and respect holding up?

Please take care of yourself and your mother. He will either rise to the occasion or show you he wasn't right for you and your needs now instead of down the road. Best wishes!

lovingpet (who has been working all day at being nice in answering this thread)

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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 7:15:42 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I won't be so nice.  Dump the jerk.  Find a person who treats you as a real human being.  The only caveat being: unless you get off on being treated abusively and bdsm relationships don't require abuse, they can be healthy and whole just like any other kind of relationship. 
You may be holding on to the relationship with him because of the stress of dealing with your Mother.  I don't know you well enough to make that call but looking at whether he is (in the words of another) a vehicle or an obstacle in your life would be prudent. 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

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RE: Pain limits - 9/12/2009 10:12:21 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavecjd

dunno if this the right place to post but i had a terrible problem last night as i could not take the punishment dished out by my Sir.  I normally have a high pain threshold and can take his 50 srokes with a cane crop or flogger with minimul wriggling and moving, but last night i could not take 5 or 10, just burst into tears and crumpled!!  Has anyone else ever suffered this, i was so dissapointed to let my Sir down.


i haven't experienced such a thing


_____________________________

your living nightmare

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Profile   Post #: 10
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