serious question about PMS (Full Version)

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liljoy -> serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 5:39:01 AM)

i'm beginning to wonder if i am alone in this. Most of the month i am i think a loving, mostly wonderful submissive. Two days a month while i always love Master, i can't stand Him during those two days. EVERYTHING He says and does causes me to react and i admit i am during those couple of days in total bitch mode.
i hate it!!! i know however that try as i might i've not been able to control it. Master also seems to be at kind of at a loss. He has however recently mentioned putting me on time out when my emotions get out of my control. i'm thinking at those time this might be a good idea.
To Those Dom/me out there that deal with this we invite any other ideas



Interesdom -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 6:22:18 AM)

I had a girlfriend once who was like this. We weren't together long enough for me to be sure that I hit on a long-term solution but it did seem to be working.

When she'd get in a state, I'd go overly considerate as well as extra-dominant. I'd have her sit down, make her a cuppa or get her a glass of wine and then sit down with her and get her to talk about how she was feeling. Always insisted on having her talk about how she felt about things. If she ran out of steam, I might prompt her with how she felt when doing something specific such as paying for groceries that morning or taking her shoes off. The entire aim was to get her to analyse her feelings at particular points and about specific things.

Gradually, she seemed able to start realising some trends, seeing her bad atttude/behaviour as it developed and therefore having more chance to contain it or possibly distract herself from it. I've no doubt it was also a great help to her that I expected less of her during those days and would let her have a rant and let off steam (I can still smile at the memory of her yelling away, then interrupting herself with "but please don't listen to any of this because it's just that time of month") - behaviour which would otherwise have earnt my wrath.



kiki blue -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 7:01:01 AM)

There are things you can do to control the symptoms, and there are things you can do to control the emotions.

I take Aleve, which is great for PMS cramps, and has helped a lot with my mood swings. I used to be terribly bitchy before my period, but once I started focusing on why I was feeling the way I was, I was able to start fixing it Knowing I'm moody because of PMS, or that things get to me more because of PMS, means I'm able to change what I do about my feelings. PMS is - in my book - no excuse for bad behaviour. Some things I've found helpful is to look at my diet leading up to my period, and try to eat better then, such as more red meat, maybe some chocolate, more vitamins. The physical symptoms for me tend to be mostly cramping, of which the Aleve tablets and hot water bottles tend to fix

I have worked a lot on controlling my reactions to things when I'm PMSing. I may have every right to be pissed off over something, but I have no right to inflict my bad mood onto other people. I have in the past bottled up how I was feeling about things, and when I was PMSing, they all came out. I've found it better to deal with what's annoying you and fix it, rather than let it stew.

Be proactive about your hormonal fluctuations, and don't let them control you, they can be tamed!



MaitresseEden -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 8:42:52 AM)

We all need time for what I call a "Core Dump" that is time to just dump out the emotional baggage and supervilous B.S about our lives in general. It is important for mental health and wellbeing that everyone make the time, to "dump" the stuff that clouds our thinking, and it is important that our partners are cognizant and supportive of those times. Part of being a Dominant is taking the responsibly to assure that their are times when this is allowed and subs are giving the permission to speak freely without fear of repercussion. Call it feedback, call it PMS, call it a core dump.. but most of all call it IMPORTANT and NECESSARY for health, wellbeing and growth in a relationship.

The fundamental key in handling it is understanding that not everything "dumped" needs to be addressed and or solved every time. Sometimes it just needs to get out, and the sub needs to know that they have a safe place to let it out. The same goes for Dom/mes. We too need to unload and dump things from time to time.. Afterall, we are all still human.

In peace,

Ms. Eden



MistressDREAD -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 9:06:21 AM)

Wooooo Hooooo to the * Core Dump!!*
beleive it or not every human being goes
thru homonal changes and it effects each
of Us differently and actually physical activity
by either a male or female will help tone down
their effects and sways but for sum other means
are needed to ward off their effects and sumtimes
lifestyle or sumthing as simple as what We eat
can change their mental and physcial reaction
to Our Bodys so test and try things and see what
will work best for you to ward off this dreaded
monthly onslaught. Foods control a lot of how
our body reacts to changes internally so look
at what you are eating a week befor this time
and during this time and see if a change of venue
will help. All the goodies like chocolate and starches
and salt tend to help keep the hormone highs and bloat Us
and those yukkie green veggies like spinich and
beets and canalope help bring down hormones to
managable levals. Try taking sum B12 and B and Potassium
supliments that will also help ward off that * LOOK IF
YOU GET WITH IN THREE FEET OF ME IM GONNA KILL YA
feeling and the bloating and water retention as well with
a over the counter duretic but be sure to take a Potassium
suppliment alone with the duretic as this kind of med depleats
whats in your system of such a mineral and this will help regulate
that blood pressure to lower vales as well, Anndddd
dont forget that befor the sun rises morning walk for a
half hour!.JMO= Just My Opinion.



starshine -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 9:50:47 AM)

For me its not so much the PMS, though occasionally I do get antsy for a few days, wonder why and then the answer shows itself (bleugh!). Its more the fact that for up to 7 days after the PMS I sometimes have trouble moving, never mind doing anything more strenuous than getting to/from work etc. Period pains still zap my energy and then I'm almost useless. The no entry signs go up and its all I can do not to flop on the bed when I get in from work until the next morning.



LadyBeckett -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 9:55:14 AM)

I have four days a month when I'm actually nice. But I don't let anyone know when they are. [;)]



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 10:05:35 AM)

ROFL....

Lady Beckett.... you have just made this girl laugh her way out of
a cranky moment. LOL


BTW, wish this girl could help.. but at the ripe age of 25, she had
an elective surgery to make it easier to fix another problem.
Let alone... "that time of the month" prior to that was one 12 hour
day and it was over,... never any cramps or cranky... just came and went
in the same day.

But 20 yrs later even those one day a month things are faded memories....

LOL


Have a great weekend,
stormi
property of Master Bear



subbiejenn -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 10:43:36 AM)

I have a odd reaction to PMS... i tend not to get bitchy but just emotional and cry all the time. Seems like every little thing upsets me and turns into something big. i have been trying to control it more and will try the "yukkie green veggies".

i am worried the Dom who i am very interested in will think i am a total basket case just after the couple days of my period. Hope He understands why i am so emotional [:o]

just couple days ago He wrote me a e-mail in which i was way to emotional when i read and read way to much into it. Had a friend read it later and they laughed at me, they said they seen nothing in the email as to what i did. *blah*



liljoy -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 10:55:13 AM)

thanks for all the advice ya'll. i'm pretty sure much of it is diet related. Isn't it sad that the things our bodies crave screw us up? OMG and i forgot about the weepy too. i'm on a rollarcoster between cry baby and bitch. i swear it's getting worse. i know i need to get a handle on it



Sundew02 -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 10:58:00 AM)

Yes, diet changes will help the mood swings. But lets be honest here, if you went to work and were a bitch for two days on the second day you would be on the street hunting another job. Use your submissive nature to control your tongue, think whatever you want during those two days, but keep your mouth SHUT. Something you might think about, is part of the reason you let lose because you feel safe enough with your Master that you assume you will remain in his good graces? Maybe you should consider not allowing a bodily function to give you license to act out.
I don't allow sickness, anger or PMS to dictate how I treat my males. If I am not determined enough to control how I react to something that I cannot change what good would I be to myself or my sub/males? Sundew



Thanatosian -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 10:58:08 AM)

quote:

All the goodies like chocolate and starches
and salt tend to help keep the hormone highs and bloat Us


As usual, going off topic here

One of my biggest arguments against 'God' being a woman is this - that leading up to and during 'that time of the month' women seem to crave the foods that exacerbate what their body is already going through - therefore, if 'God' were female, would she have inflicted this upon those crafted in her image?


I now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion



MrThorns -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 11:01:47 AM)

"Time out" has worked pretty well within my relationships. I nkow that a girl's emotions are difficult to control and for me to punish her for her shortness of temper, aggrivated demeanor, etc..seems to be a bit unfair. (And I know...the world is entirely unfair, but I do try to keep a sense of balance in my home.) So, she knows to take some time alone when she is enduring her cycle.

(A note for those who are considering poly with multiple women... be advised that many women will begin to have their cycle at the same time when they live together for an extended period. You have been warned...have fun.)

~Thorns



LadyShoshin -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 11:09:06 AM)

May I suggest journelling during the next one, how you feel, what was the trigger for the emotion, did you manage to control it, if so how and if not, what happened. Then before the next one hits, take your journal to your doctor & let them read it, get a medical opinion and see what they suggest.

Lady Shoshin
quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

i'm beginning to wonder if i am alone in this. Most of the month i am i think a loving, mostly wonderful submissive. Two days a month while i always love Master, i can't stand Him during those two days. EVERYTHING He says and does causes me to react and i admit i am during those couple of days in total bitch mode.




hislilbitch -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 11:23:46 AM)

I too often get more emotional- I cry a lot and seem to think everything in the world is terrible. When I am not totally depressed.. I am a total BITCH.

My Sir has been very undertanding as he sees it coming. He usually just trys to say nicer things and pretty much keeps distance from me until it passes, sometimes it makes me feel worse as I feel I am being ignored. But this works best because it causes fewer arguments.

After a couple days it passes and I am allowed out of the guest room and back at my Sir's feet.



liljoy -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 3:03:59 PM)

quote:

"that time of the month" prior to that was one 12 hour
day and it was over,... never any cramps or cranky... just came and went
in the same day.



lmbo stormi now that is just plain mean. i ride this awful rollarcoaster for 2 days before the flow even starts and you tell me that yours only lasted one day. lol i'm glad this isn't a rollarcoaster day or i'd be crying and cussing.
Seriously though as the end of my child bearing years get's closer i wonder if that will cure this problem or make it worse?
i know you can't answer that but maybe someone can



NoCalOwner -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 3:39:07 PM)

This is a suggestion which doesn't really attack the problem, but kind of skirts around it.

Hopefully you're not using an IUD, since they often make periods longer/worse. If you are using birth control pills or patches, you might want to have a word with your doctor. A while back it was noticed that the body had no real need for a monthly period, and that one every few months was sufficient for internal housekeeping purposes. As a result, you may have seen ads on TV for pills which let you have a period quarterly, rather than monthly. They are identical to other birth control pills, they just substitute the regular (yellow) ones for the green ones for 2 months out of 3. If you use patches, the same applies, you just wear them all of the time (instead of 3 weeks out of 4), then skip a week after 3 months have gone by.

There's no guarantee that your medical insurance will cover, but it seemed worth mentioning. It's the only thing which I could think of which is absolutely sure to cut your PMS problems by 2/3.



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/28/2004 5:10:10 PM)

In all honesty,

stormi's surgery was a partial, and now 20 yrs. later
there have been for the last 2 or 3 hotflashes are just
sluggish days... Doc says it's stormi's body saying
"adios" to all the rest.

The doc told this girl's mother that this girl was not normal
in the "female" way........ LOL.... but then we knew that, stormi
had to be tough being the only daughter and only granddaughter
on both sides of the family.

Be well and........... a year of ease wished your way [;)]


stormi
property of Master Bear



LadyAngelika -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/29/2004 6:58:19 AM)

I’d like to address a few things said here and at this very moment I am going through massive PMS so the timing is so very appropriate. <weg>

The PMS part for me is bad. The actual period for me is worse physically as I suffer from acute spasmodic dysmenorrhea. Essentially, that means that every month, during the first 36 hours of my period, I have contractions much like the ones women have during childbirth (nevermind the pain, keeping a straight face while riding the subway into work is one of the major challenges!). It used to be worse when younger where I actually would pass out from the pain. Nutrition and exercise has played a huge role in alleviating all my symptoms.

Already, in my everyday life, I’ve had to work with issues of patience. I am not predisposed to being a patient person. I’d say that I’ve made leaps & bounds in that department but my weak moment is when I have PMS. I have no patience, whatsoever. Actually, sleep deprivation, hunger and pain will also bring out the worst in me and make me so very impatient and intolerant. I think these things will bring out the worst in most.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue
I have worked a lot on controlling my reactions to things when I'm PMSing. I may have every right to be pissed off over something, but I have no right to inflict my bad mood onto other people. [...]
Be proactive about your hormonal fluctuations, and don't let them control you, they can be tamed!


Last night was an ultimate test. PMS & work/social activity induced sleep deprivation caused me to be quite intolerant. I went out with my sub girl and for some reason, she was extra distracted last night, neglecting certain instructions and interrupting me on a few occasions. I found myself biting my tongue because if I had addressed these issues last night, I don’t believe I would have had enough self control to end up with a productive outcome. In fact, it would probably end up in a scenario where I would most definitely say things I would regret later. There were moments when she would interrupt and say “yeah, that was like the time” and I’d take a deep breath and answer “you can tell me about that when I am done saying what it is I have to say” but that was the extent to which I intervened. She did take the hint though. I will sit with her and discuss these issues the next time we are together when my patience will be somewhat restored.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
It is important for mental health and wellbeing that everyone make the time, to "dump" the stuff that clouds our thinking, and it is important that our partners are cognizant and supportive of those times. Part of being a Dominant is taking the responsibly to assure that their are times when this is allowed and subs are giving the permission to speak freely without fear of repercussion.


I agree 100%. I also believe that as Dominants, we need to control our core dump as well. I have to be able to realise when I’m over reacting to something too harshly because I’m PMSing. For example, last night, had I not exerted self-control I could have given into something I told myself I would never do, which is to administer punishment in anger. As I mentioned earlier, I will deal with these transgressions when I feel I am in control of my emotions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
Foods control a lot of how
our body reacts to changes internally so look
at what you are eating a week befor this time
and during this time and see if a change of venue
will help. All the goodies like chocolate and starches
and salt tend to help keep the hormone highs and bloat Us
and those yukkie green veggies like spinich and
beets and canalope help bring down hormones to
managable levals. Try taking sum B12 and B and Potassium
supliments

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy
Isn't it sad that the things our bodies crave screw us up?


Have you ever heard the expression that sometimes you only hear what you want to hear? That goes for listening to your body as well. You may think that your body is craving sweets, but it’s not. That is actually what I know as une rage de sucre (I’M assuming in English it is translated into sugar rage) where your body needs to sustain high sugar levels. Not controlling this issue eventually may lead to Type 2 diabetes.

My body craves leafy greens such as dandelion, swiss chard, kale as well as beets, carrots as well as other vegetables and fruits that regulate my body. I have done a lot to eliminate the sugar cravings by reducing my overall sugar & starch intake. Your body can actually be trained to crave food that is good for you. I don’t think I have to convince this community how effective training / behaviour modification can be.

On a final note, my sub girl is picky about vegetables. Well this morning she was sent off with a big tasty veggie filled omelette. No concessions this morning. She didn’t say one word and ate it all up. <weg>

- LA



proudsub -> RE: serious question about PMS (8/29/2004 10:00:19 AM)

quote:

I have done a lot to eliminate the sugar cravings by reducing my overall sugar & starch intake. Your body can actually be trained to crave food that is good for you. I don’t think I have to convince this community how effective training / behaviour modification can be.


This is so true. That's what the South Beach plan is based on and it works. I no longer have any sweet and starch cravings. Keeping your blood sugar even throughout the day is what does it.



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