Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (Full Version)

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threepointplay13 -> Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:29:13 AM)

I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??



Andalusite -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:34:33 AM)

Most people will want to meet or at least talk to your wife to make sure that she is ok with you doing that with them. Lots of poly folks here, but few who are open to enabling cheaters (or at least are willing to admit it publicly). My playpartner is married, and her husband is vanilla. The two of them, my Master, and I went out for coffee to discuss things and get to know each other (she and I already had been hanging out socially for 3 months or so) before she and I played for the first time.



threepointplay13 -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:38:01 AM)

Thanks for the advise but my mate would not be so open minded. Has to be discreet. Maybe there is no place for me here either!!



Aileen1968 -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:42:36 AM)

I did the whole discreet thingy. Tell your wife what you need to be happy. If she can't provide it then leave the marriage before you fuck around.




sirsholly -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:44:30 AM)

i agree with Aileen. Your bride will find out, one way or another. It will be in her best interests if you are honest with her from the start.



CarrieO -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:56:47 AM)

You make no mention in your blank profile of being married.  Why?

When a man mentions to me he wants a "discreet encounter" it screams married/cheater.  I don't play that game. 

Any ideas?  Sure, come clean to your partner and see if she's interested in taking part or in allowing you to take part with another. If neither of those are an option, maybe you need to look at what is stronger...your desire for a discreet encounter or your desire to stay with your mate.



MistressEllen444 -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 8:59:44 AM)

That is what pros are for. Cough up the money or be honest with your wife. I doubt any lifestyle Domme will touch you.



Lashra -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:11:18 AM)

If you know these things BEFORE you get married, it is a good idea to let the other person know. That way they can decide if they want to try it or call the wedding off. Waiting until later can bring a whole host of problems. Of course if you didn't discover your kinky side until later then you may have a problem.

Communication is you friend, lying and sneaking around is not. Tell her your needs and she may agree to them, so lay it all out for her. If she does not agree then you will just have to deny those needs or decide this marriage is not fulfilling for you and move on.

Good luck,
~Lashra



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:18:27 AM)

Perhaps you'd have better luck on websites that are intended for cheating people looking to meet other cheaters, like AshleyMadison.com  You won't find that many who're friendly to the topic on here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

Thanks for the advise but my mate would not be so open minded. Has to be discreet. Maybe there is no place for me here either!!



malloves69 -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:37:06 AM)

for pros in your state click on eros.com ..click on your state ..and away you go ..but they do cost so be prepared ..why get married if thats not what you want in the other person ? not fair to her you screwing around on her without her knowing about it ..mal ..and yes i do value marriage [:)]



LadyPact -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:49:03 AM)

I value marriage, too.  That's why there is no "discrete" about the dynamic that I have.  Of course, it wouldn't exist without his wife's knowledge.

A good number of people can find the situation that suits them without going the pro route.  It does mean some work, but it can happen.



Viridana -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:50:06 AM)

FR

Let your wife have the choice of being with somebody like you.... you have no right denying her the choice. 



Sunnyfey -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 9:55:53 AM)

So Im going to guess at your age, you've been married for more then 5 years to your wife.

It's going to be a real kick in the teeth for her to realize she wasted so much of her life on a cheating, selfish, "husband".

Because that's what your doing right now. Your being egotistical and selfish. You stopped caring about how your WIFE feels along time ago. Now your just here looking for some sympathetic soul to help you in your transgressions and to help you break your vows.

Nope, you better be prepared to pay for it. The Lifestyle Dommes around here would atleast probe you enough to figure out your a cheating husband, but a Pro might be tempted with enough cash, to not ask questions.



photohound -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:11:18 AM)

If your going to start out a new relationship lying to someone you care for and love, then why bother being with  the other person? I know these people are not going to tell you " yes go ahead and cheat" this lifestyle is about honesty and trust, if you can't do that in a vanilla relationship how can you even be in a lifestyle or even kink play that requires a even more deeper trust and honesty? Even if you are just looking to be tied up and spanked, you still have to be open and honest with the person doing it to you, for their safety and yours.I will have to agree, why marry someone if they are not a match for you and your interests, it is not fair and is rather deceitful.A good relationship contains honestly, trust, communications and loving someone WITHOUT conditions, if our new wife freaks out by what you tell her or you feel you may lose her because you are just being your self then maybe the relationship was not meant to be in the first place. Either tell her or do with out for the sake of maintaining a vanilla relationship,if you cheat, you WILL get caught sooner or later and think of the damage then.If you are happy in the relationship, no piece of ass is worth losing and hurting someone you love and care about.You may feel it is already too late, never too late, the damages and consequences will be worse as the relationship goes further, tell her now if she leaves, then you are free to find your kink play partner with out being a cheater. 



threepointplay13 -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:30:45 AM)

it wasn't like that originally. I developed this desire well into our relationship. I have talked and asked her, but she is very vanilla. Guess this was the wrong place to ask this question.



Sunnyfey -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:42:33 AM)

Yeah there is no "right" site to ask this type of question, as the act itself is morally repugnant.

The BASE value and CORE belief in this community is CONSENT.

Your wife is not consenting if your going behind her back to do it.



lilivontramp -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:43:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??

Here's an idea. Talk to the woman you made your vows to about your desires, or end the marriage.



RavenMuse -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:44:58 AM)

Personally I have NO regard for any cheat regardless of if it is the male or female partner.

If you will lie to your primary partner you will lie to ANYONE... and so much of what We do relies on trust... Nobody can trust a liar, thus nobody can trust a cheat



sirsholly -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:48:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

it wasn't like that originally. I developed this desire well into our relationship. I have talked and asked her, but she is very vanilla. Guess this was the wrong place to ask this question.
Because this is a kink site it is often thought you will get support from the majority when it comes to fulfilling your desires and cheating on a spouse. You will not.

If your desires are of such strength that you feel you must seek elsewhere, man-up and tell your wife...giving her the option of staying in the marriage.



porcelaine -> RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play (9/15/2009 10:49:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??


i really don't think you needed to come here and advertise this on the board. it doesn't take rocket science to stray. the moment you joined and setup a profile the die was cast. if this is a marketing ploy to give yourself greater exposure it may not work to your advantage. if it is as you've stated and you're hoping that i'm going to tell you how to knowingly deceive your spouse anymore than you already have, when i hope to marry someday. i want you to give consideration to the ridiculousness of what i just stated.

unless you're too self absorbed. too self involved. too focused on satisfying your own needs to take into account that there's actually another party involved. or you simply don't give a damn.

porcelaine



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