How do you manifest your submissiveness?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How do you manifest your submissiveness?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> How do you manifest your submissiveness?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 10:28:47 AM

silkNsteel

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline

A friend asked me this earlier and I have spent all morning thinking about how I would answer.

It is much more than just describing what makes me -feel- submissive, or what makes me think I -am- submissive. How do i manifest my submissiveness? How do i demonstrate, show, establish, substantiate... (yes I looked it up in a thesarus *grins*) Both in a relationship with a Dom and perhaps more importantly when I am not in a D/s relationship.

For me, sometimes its as easy as a look, or doing something for someone else that makes them smile. Sometimes its so deep inside that it feels like its part of my soul. Its also part of the ache of needing a Dom, I don't just need a man... its much more. I don't just need a friend... It isn't just the kinky sex or even just sex or intimacy. Sometimes knowing its out there but not having found it brings tears to my eyes, and yet, knowing its out there... waiting... makes me smile.

I came to the conclusion that I needed help to answer this. So I pose the question here for all of you wiser, more articulate, more experienced than I. *smiles and slips back into the shadows to listen and learn*

Thank you for your time.
silkNsteel

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 10:32:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

To me that's like asking how I manifest as a bisexual or how I manifest as an aunt or how I manifest as a polyamorous person.

No action is submissive or dominant on its own. Thus, no expression is submissive or dominant on its own. What matters is the feeling and motivation behind them.

I manifest my orientations by getting into relationships that involve those particular dynamics within them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 12:17:36 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Like LA said, its the feeling behind your actions that manifest them.

How does submissiveness/slavery manifest to me?How does it play out in action?

1. Desire to obey
2. Desire to please
3. Desire to serve
4. Desire to submit to his direction.
5. My happiness in the relationship coming from his Dominance.
6. My sexuality responding to that Dominance.
7. Working out ways to make his life happy and fulfilled.
8. Putting myself into a position in a way that He can take control of the relationship and me.
9. Not fighting the vulnerability.
10. Handing over my fears, anxieties, hopes and dreams to him.

Thats all I can think of now.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 1:59:00 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Both in a relationship with a Dom and perhaps more importantly when I am not in a D/s relationship

What slavejali said in the D/s relationship. Outside of it i do not consider myself submissive unless in a situation involving others in the lifestyle.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 2:08:24 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

demonstrate, show, establish, substantiate... in a relationship with a Dom.

1. trust and faith in self and Master
2. obedience to Master's rules
3. respect and appreciation for the opportunity to serve Master

quote:

and perhaps more importantly when I am not in a D/s relationship

seek out ways to serve the family, the community as well as folks far away this slave will never meet.

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 3:24:23 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

i guess i manifast in the way that i am submissive to him. I desire to please, serve and obey him it is just something that is inside me but i think it can only happen with the right Master. At least it is that way for me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 2/28/2006 11:40:08 PM

subtoFemDommes

Posts: 72
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: silkNsteel
Its also part of the ache of needing a Dom, I don't just need a man... its much more. I don't just need a friend... It isn't just the kinky sex or even just sex or intimacy. Sometimes knowing its out there but not having found it brings tears to my eyes, and yet, knowing its out there... waiting... makes me smile.

To take it a step further, i didn't need a Domme, i needed THE Domme i found; the one i fell in love with, who is a Woman and a friend. Who incorporates the sex and intimacy that is only meaningful in the context of how i perceive Her, as all of the aforementioned.

What i manifest as submission, is both a need on my part to give joy by being of service (someone i once dated who was vanilla said to me, "I know you show your love for me by doing things for me") and by empowering Her to feel free to reveal and revel in, Her dark sides. i both empathize and observe; i anticipate and couldn't do otherwise. i thrive on knowing i'm making Her feel secure, at peace, comfortable and attended to.

i want Her to feel not a moment of hesitation or doubt about acting on Her whims and to that end, i offer myself in the most vulnerable ways i know how, my reward residing in each new validation of my trust.

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/1/2006 12:06:18 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

How do i manifest my submissiveness? How do i demonstrate, show, establish, substantiate... (yes I looked it up in a thesarus *grins*) Both in a relationship with a Dom and perhaps more importantly when I am not in a D/s relationship.

I was prideful and learned humility. I was introspective and learned open communication. I was selfish and learned his brand of service. I learned to seek instead of expect, and to slow down instead of rush. To savor, to linger, to anticipate and to ask rather than demand. All of these were necessary for growth, all of these came because of His ability to Master my potential. He forces me to continue to rise, to improve in both self and in service to him. So, I guess I demonstrate not so much my submission to him, but his Mastery of me by the growth he has nurtured in me to be better for him.

He, above all others, has my complete and total devotion and loyalty, but even those are as he requires them to be and not as I believe they should be.

I was not molded so much as tweaked because I came to him already formed. So, while the blueprint was already there, he made a few design changes so that it fits more comfortably into his life.

I know more, see more, listen more and learn more.. all of which carry over into non D/s relationships.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/1/2006 5:55:50 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

What a great post, Celeste. i can relate in many ways.

To answer the question, i would have to simply say, "by the way i now live."

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/1/2006 3:35:55 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

The easiest answer for me is... "by everything that I do and say... by my life" I am a slave... I have given everything to my Dragon and would not change a thing about it.

1st Girl Phoenix
slave to Master Dragon

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to silkNsteel)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/1/2006 4:52:31 PM

chercher

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I was prideful and learned humility. I was introspective and learned open communication. I was selfish and learned his brand of service. I learned to seek instead of expect, and to slow down instead of rush. To savor, to linger, to anticipate and to ask rather than demand. All of these were necessary for growth, all of these came because of His ability to Master my potential. He forces me to continue to rise, to improve in both self and in service to him. So, I guess I demonstrate not so much my submission to him, but his Mastery of me by the growth he has nurtured in me to be better for him.

He, above all others, has my complete and total devotion and loyalty, but even those are as he requires them to be and not as I believe they should be.

I was not molded so much as tweaked because I came to him already formed. So, while the blueprint was already there, he made a few design changes so that it fits more comfortably into his life.

I know more, see more, listen more and learn more.. all of which carry over into non D/s relationships.

Celeste

Oh Celeste,

Your thoughts bring tears to my eyes, and hope to my heart.

Be well,

chercher

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/1/2006 6:56:21 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Love BitaTruble's post.

I am a powerful person and a dominant energy in my public life. I am also deeply spiritual. I use submission as a life school whose lessons I take everywhere to temper my egotism and make a difference in the society I move in.

Submission to the circumstances of life (as in giving up the idea that THE NOW REALITY should be some other way than THE WAY IT IS) is the biggest way I manifest submission in life. That is not to say I lay down and let life run me over. I just don't take as long to get what is really happening, and let go of what I cannot change. Like the proverbial monkey with his hand thru the small hole of the banana box - and the banana is too big to pull out thru the hole. Let go and go find another banana. A metaphor for leaving alone things I need to leave alone.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to chercher)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/4/2006 3:58:23 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Like LA said, its the feeling behind your actions that manifest them.

How does submissiveness/slavery manifest to me?How does it play out in action?

1. Desire to obey
2. Desire to please
3. Desire to serve
4. Desire to submit to his direction.
5. My happiness in the relationship coming from his Dominance.
6. My sexuality responding to that Dominance.
7. Working out ways to make his life happy and fulfilled.
8. Putting myself into a position in a way that He can take control of the relationship and me.
9. Not fighting the vulnerability.
10. Handing over my fears, anxieties, hopes and dreams to him.

Thats all I can think of now.

Very nicely said *smiles*

Level
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Six essential qualities that are the key to success: Sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, charity."

William Menninger

(in reply to slavejali)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: How do you manifest your submissiveness? - 3/4/2006 4:30:18 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

How do i manifest my submissiveness? How do i demonstrate, show, establish, substantiate... (yes I looked it up in a thesarus *grins*) Both in a relationship with a Dom and perhaps more importantly when I am not in a D/s relationship.

I was prideful and learned humility. I was introspective and learned open communication. I was selfish and learned his brand of service. I learned to seek instead of expect, and to slow down instead of rush. To savor, to linger, to anticipate and to ask rather than demand. All of these were necessary for growth, all of these came because of His ability to Master my potential. He forces me to continue to rise, to improve in both self and in service to him. So, I guess I demonstrate not so much my submission to him, but his Mastery of me by the growth he has nurtured in me to be better for him.

He, above all others, has my complete and total devotion and loyalty, but even those are as he requires them to be and not as I believe they should be.

I was not molded so much as tweaked because I came to him already formed. So, while the blueprint was already there, he made a few design changes so that it fits more comfortably into his life.

I know more, see more, listen more and learn more.. all of which carry over into non D/s relationships.

Celeste

Outstanding.........if they ever get around to printing that BDSM How To book, they should include what you just wrote.

Level
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."

Henry David Thoreau

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 14