Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry?

Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (Full Version)

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worthlesstrash -> Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 8:21:03 AM)
I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them. He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act. I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you?

fadedshadow -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 9:05:55 AM)
it was my post that brought this question to mind i think. anyways to truly know you'd have to ask him why he enjoys seeing you cry

mnottertail -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 9:22:53 AM)
a heaving, sobbing girl giving you head is really hawt..all that thick spit and whatnot, smeary mascara... Ron

Dominatist -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 9:29:43 AM)
I don't necessarily. Crying is sign-post that tells me where we are at.

leadership527 -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 9:30:27 AM)
I'm not a sadist so "no, I do not like causing my wife distress in any way."

worthlesstrash -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 9:44:01 AM)
Maybe my problem is that I am not a sadist nor a masochist, so I just don't get it. Like the other day we were having anal sex, he didn't know I had lubed up a ton when I went to bed so I would be ready. I will be honest, it didn't hurt even a bit and things went in rather easy so of course I didn't gasp or anything. Although he loved that I had done that and the way things ended up happening, he missed that I wasn't letting on like anything hurt. Now I am thinking I might have to fake hurt to make him hot..I hope that's not like faking an orgasm or something. He is also wanting to mark me..he loves marking me. The thing is I don't mark easily so it takes ton to get there. I am trying to figure out how to get my head in the space where I can handle something like that. The thing is I am wanting to be a better masochist or pain slut, I am just not sure how to get there or if that's even possible. ugh, I hope I am making sense.

DesFIP -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 10:12:34 AM)
He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia

worthlesstrash -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 10:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia haha..true, he did tell me that much. I guess I am an analyzer, it can't be helped. I suppose I can't pinpoint why certain things turn me on either. I guess because it's something I don't feel myself, I am trying to understand it. I would never want to see someone I love cry, so maybe it's beyond me.

LaTigresse -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 11:14:42 AM)
For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it.

porcelaine -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 12:28:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail a heaving, sobbing girl giving you head is really hawt..all that thick spit and whatnot, smeary mascara... Ron what he said, plus or minus the mascara. quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it. and definitely this, but make the recipient male. as to why, cause you're pretty when you cry. [;)] porcelaine

SaharahEve -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 12:40:31 PM)
It's proof of devotion.

worthlesstrash -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 1:21:26 PM)
I suppose I just try to analyze things to much, I want to know why everything is the way it is, and why it's done the way it's done. Maybe I should just find the comfort in knowing I can give him that pleasure he can't get anywhere else. I will try to find a way to do that. Maybe in return I will start finding pleasure in it also and the pain won't seem so bad anymore.

kccuckoldmist -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 1:57:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia Yep! I am a sadists and I very much can have a natural reaction of it just turns me on. Now I can also feel sorry or wish I was not causing pain but that does take a seat to my natural arousal. Another attraction to seeing my slave take pain for me is it is a phenomenal touching thing to see how much they care for me to take it. That certainly tugs at the heart strings and goes to part of the arousal.

leadership527 -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/18/2009 3:06:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash I suppose I just try to analyze things to much, I want to know why everything is the way it is, and why it's done the way it's done. Maybe I should just find the comfort in knowing I can give him that pleasure he can't get anywhere else. I will try to find a way to do that. Maybe in return I will start finding pleasure in it also and the pain won't seem so bad anymore. chuckles Dont' feel bad. I don't "get it" either. But I dont' think, really, there is anything TO get. In any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, one partner has a need and the other provides. So long as you can provide for his need without causing some sort of undue emotional or physical harm to yourself, then... well... so what? While I don't deal with this directly since Carol & I aren't into SM, I do give Carol a wide variety of commands... some of which she's less than thrilled with. But again, it's worth pointing out that even in a vanilla relationship, nobody gets their way all the time. Some days you just take one for the team. So long as Carol is getting what she needs also, she's more than happy to give me mine.

slaveToKnight -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 1:02:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash Maybe my problem is that I am not a sadist nor a masochist, so I just don't get it. Like the other day we were having anal sex, he didn't know I had lubed up a ton when I went to bed so I would be ready. I will be honest, it didn't hurt even a bit and things went in rather easy so of course I didn't gasp or anything. Although he loved that I had done that and the way things ended up happening, he missed that I wasn't letting on like anything hurt. Now I am thinking I might have to fake hurt to make him hot..I hope that's not like faking an orgasm or something. He is also wanting to mark me..he loves marking me. The thing is I don't mark easily so it takes ton to get there. I am trying to figure out how to get my head in the space where I can handle something like that. The thing is I am wanting to be a better masochist or pain slut, I am just not sure how to get there or if that's even possible. ugh, I hope I am making sense. I don't think you can make yourself into a pain slut or masochist. I think you either are or you aren't.

aldompdx -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 3:27:40 PM)
Abusive people are very common. That does not make it good or right for you. A key is accepting your personal responsibility for the choice you freely make to remain engaged in the process of enduring pain for his "satisfaction," which will continually escalate and never be enough. Since pain is not your primary motivation, and it is his, there seems to be a lack of fundamental connection between you two. Remember, he is not your source of love and fulfillment. Love arises in the only place you ever feel it, your very own heart. It is neither given nor taken, but is shared. Love cannot be purchased or exchanged in a bargain of giving to get. Obviously for you, pain is not the key to unlocking your heart and sharing intimacy. I suggest that you read this thread... http://www.collarchat.com/m_2622728/tm.htm

RavenMuse -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 4:05:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it. We need a "Wot she said" emote! Knowing that I caused it, the vulnerability and openness that goes with it... I'm a reaction slut! That's not just the reaction she thinks are good or pleasant. playing all the reactions deliberately like a delicious musical instrument... tears included.... oh yeeeessss! If I haven't caused it or haven't caused it deliberately then crying has quite the opposite effect on Me.

playfulotter -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 7:05:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them. He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act. I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you? I think for me I am not way up there on the pain thing but I love trying to "take it"...and a few times I have cried even sobbed with him and when I see his face and it is this blank face not worrying about my pain it somehow turns me on more and him too of course...but i can see he knows then I have reached some kind of threshold at that point when I cry..i try not to though but it is hard not too sometimes....

CaringandReal -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 9:23:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it. Bingo. You got to the heart of the matter in one short sentence. :)

Acer49 -> RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? (9/19/2009 9:50:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them. He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act. I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you? The only reason I would want her to cry would be because she needed to relase some sort of stress or if it were needed so that she could begin healing fron an unresolved painful issue

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