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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 5:58:47 PM

Bimtrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

"Fuckdoll" is a weekend fantasy, not a way of life. Sorry.

So "the life" should only have sex on the weekends? Hmm, that brings a new meaning to "having a case of the Mondays" lol.

Or maybe you suggest kinky sex on the weekends and regular, boring sex on the weekdays. Either way, I yawn at the thought.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:00:47 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
Something like "You know what, I just don't really see it working between us. Sorry. Good luck" is perfectly fine

Just saying "bye" or totally going silent is not. It's disrespectful. And I don't mean disrespectful because I expect her to respect me since she's a sub and I'm a Dom (I don't expect that off the bat) but disrespectful because no two human beings who are engaged in a conversation that has not offended either party should end a conversation like that.

Just one quick comment.

It's the net, Dear. No one owes you respect.

Exactly, you contradict yourself...you say you don't demand respect yet are pissed off that they don't give you the exact type you want even when telling you that you aren't a match.
Frankly, from reading your posts you don't strike me as the kind of guy that would take "gee we aren't a match" well either. I'd vote you'd try to badger the poor creature into debating with you why they don't want to be with you.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:02:05 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

quote:

"Fuckdoll" is a weekend fantasy, not a way of life. Sorry.

Right. The "24/7 slave" thing is mostly a fantasy. It doesn't work well in real life.

On the other hand, being used as a sex slave for a night or a weekend is a common female desire. Your job as a dominant is to make that happen. When it comes off right, it's a great experience for both partners.

i don't think you're qualified to speak for every slave and what she wants or engages in. you can only reference situations you've been involved in directly or learned of. suffice to say you're wrong.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:02:24 PM

Bimtrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain

While I again agree to an extent, to not hold people accountable for their actions is to condone them. To condone them is to encourage them and if we all went around encouraging a lack of basic human respect than this society would sink into utter darkness. There is no law requiring me to dive in and save a child f I see one drowning in a pool. I'm legally allowed to abstain from doing that. But it is my duty as a human being to save that child and I would without question every time.

I've yet to see anyone die from lack of social grace
I wasn't saying it is right to condone lack of manners. Instead, I was suggesting that you examine how you react to a person's lack of grace.
I'm curious, how do you purpose we hold people accountable for their lack of manners?

So then it becomes a question of where he line is drawn. I myself don't have the answer but I shall never cease to seek it. As far as holding people accountable for their actions online, I suppose you can't, thus my frustration.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:04:44 PM

Sunnyfey

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Wow, honey, your honesty is striking. I'm just sayin, its going to be hard to find a woman like that.

Why not go to one of the beaches and find you a girl who all ready does that? Or go to Sugardaddies.com....you'll find one there I bet

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:09:54 PM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
So then it becomes a question of where he line is drawn. I myself don't have the answer but I shall never cease to seek it. As far as holding people accountable for their actions online, I suppose you can't, thus my frustration.

I understand your frustration, I deal with people on a daily basis that have the "do you know who I am" attitude. They assume because they have a certain social status or position in life that they're due respect. While I have no problem being polite ( let's not forget to put on our vasaline smiles

), respect is something that must be earned.
Try to understand and remember the difference between respectfulness and politeness, neither of which you have control of in others. Lead by example...that's the only thing you can do.

Good luck.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:13:01 PM

Bimtrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
Something like "You know what, I just don't really see it working between us. Sorry. Good luck" is perfectly fine

Just saying "bye" or totally going silent is not. It's disrespectful. And I don't mean disrespectful because I expect her to respect me since she's a sub and I'm a Dom (I don't expect that off the bat) but disrespectful because no two human beings who are engaged in a conversation that has not offended either party should end a conversation like that.

Just one quick comment.

It's the net, Dear. No one owes you respect.

Exactly, you contradict yourself...you say you don't demand respect yet are pissed off that they don't give you the exact type you want even when telling you that you aren't a match.
Frankly, from reading your posts you don't strike me as the kind of guy that would take "gee we aren't a match" well either. I'd vote you'd try to badger the poor creature into debating with you why they don't want to be with you.

I don't demand higher levels of respect if I have not earned them but there is a basic level of human respect all people should show each other.

And trust me, for the countless amount of women you have told me yes, just as many said no and as long as they did so in a nice respectful way, I never had the slightest problem with it. I'm fully aware that I am not right for everyone and everyone is not right for me. The way I conduct both my professional and personal life requires a high ability to deal with rejection as I constantly take risks and travel uncharted waters. In many cases I can even brush off rude people. I guess today it got to me.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:14:20 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
Something like "You know what, I just don't really see it working between us. Sorry. Good luck" is perfectly fine

Just saying "bye" or totally going silent is not. It's disrespectful. And I don't mean disrespectful because I expect her to respect me since she's a sub and I'm a Dom (I don't expect that off the bat) but disrespectful because no two human beings who are engaged in a conversation that has not offended wither party should end a conversation like that.

Just one quick comment.

It's the net, Dear. No one owes you respect.

I'm a human being and unless I ask people not to respect me as such (which is the case with some), I ask to to be payed that very basic level of respect all human beings should show each other, regardless of the communication medium. The idea that nobody owes anybody any respect is what leads to the breakdown of society and mass murderers.

I tend to think that what you are calling respect is what I would call courtesy. I'm more of the opinion that respect is something that is earned and not something owed just because someone is breathing in and out.

Exactly how the lack of common courtesy on the net leads to mass murders is a pretty far stretch for Me. I highly doubt someone shutting off a chat window without a good-bye is one of the prime reasons for it.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:15:29 PM

Bimtrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
So then it becomes a question of where he line is drawn. I myself don't have the answer but I shall never cease to seek it. As far as holding people accountable for their actions online, I suppose you can't, thus my frustration.

I understand your frustration, I deal with people on a daily basis that have the "do you know who I am" attitude. They assume because they have a certain social status or position in life that they're due respect. While I have no problem being polite ( let's not forget to put on our vasaline smiles), respect is something that must be earned.
Try to understand and remember the difference between respectfulness and politeness, neither of which you have control of in others. Lead by example...that's the only thing you can do.

Good luck.

I guess I consider politeness to be under the umbrella of respect. Respect comes in different levels and I consider being ploiteness to be a basic ground level of respect. The manner in which I respect my father is different from the way I respect the President and different from the way I respect a police officer, etc. I see respect as not not a single thing but an umbrella that carries a variety of levels and types. I guess at this point we are agreeing but debating semantics.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I tend to think that what you are calling respect is what I would call courtesy. I'm more of the opinion that respect is something that is earned and not something owed just because someone is breathing in and out.

Exactly how the lack of common courtesy on the net leads to mass murders is a pretty far stretch for Me. I highly doubt someone shutting off a chat window without a good-bye is one of the prime reasons for it.
[/color]

Again, semantics.

< Message edited by Bimtrain -- 9/20/2009 6:20:16 PM >

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:25:29 PM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
Requiring that there favorite band be Led Zepplin, that they be left handed and have no fewer than four but nor more than seven moles on there body plain ridiculous.

I'd just like to pipe in here that requiring that their favorite band be Led Zeppelin is ridiculous, but it isn't unreasonable at all to expect them to respect Led Zeppelin. :)

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:37:04 PM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain

I guess I consider politeness to be under the umbrella of respect. Respect comes in different levels and I consider being ploiteness to be a basic ground level of respect. The manner in which I respect my father is different from the way I respect the President and different from the way I respect a police officer, etc. I see respect as not not a single thing but an umbrella that carries a variety of levels and types. I guess at this point we are agreeing but debating semantics.

It still comes back to your expectations. You expect people to treat you with a certain amout of respect. The reality is you have no control over this. Why waste you energy on the expectations of strangers. Like I said before...lead by example.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 6:38:22 PM

sweetsub1957

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~Fast Reply~
I think if all He wants is a fuckdoll that looks and does exactly as He wants with no mind of her own, He should go buy the one with the patch kit AND all three vibrating/pulsating orifices. Maybe then He would be happy. No back talk, ya know. Then He could deflate her & put her in the closet during the week. hahaha

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:02:54 PM

hlen5

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I would just loooove to know the straw that broke the" fuckdoll's" back in that conversation.

If Fuckdoll said she agreed to all (save one) stipulations in the OP's profile, I'm very curious as to what immediately preceded the "goodbye".

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:13:39 PM

Sunnyfey

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Seriously Op, I'm tellin ya. sugardaddie.com
The girls there are looking for the exact type of situation you present.

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 9/20/2009 7:18:25 PM >

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:14:26 PM

NihilusZero

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Point 1: You're still getting the best possible outcome. The alternatives are: to have someone suck up prerequisite #20 and then find yourself at the unbeknownst end of building resentment that will eventually find a catalyst to break open the dam, to have someone write out a more thoroughly honest verbal reaction to what brought on their silence or curt response...particularly if they're made to feel they "owe" it to you.

Point 2: To the issue of "owing" anything, respect of basic liberties is not the same as succumbing to another person's sense of etiquette. There is no universal decency requirement on the internet and it's foolish to expect it. At best, you find cynical or cleverly humorous ways to roll with the downs and actively find ways to surround yourself with people who more exude the ups.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 9/20/2009 7:19:43 PM >

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:15:18 PM

Level

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LOL Lucienne

I don't particulary find the OP's kink too bizarre; lots of folks like lots of control, in lots of different ways.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:17:51 PM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

"Fuckdoll" is a weekend fantasy, not a way of life. Sorry.

To be fair, a fuckdoll dynamic is perfectly sensible. As it describes just the sexual dynamic of a relationship, I'd venture to say most sexually-based M/s relationships function on precisely this premise and at all times (likely in most cases)

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:42:37 PM

Bimtrain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
Requiring that there favorite band be Led Zepplin, that they be left handed and have no fewer than four but nor more than seven moles on there body plain ridiculous.

I'd just like to pipe in here that requiring that their favorite band be Led Zeppelin is ridiculous, but it isn't unreasonable at all to expect them to respect Led Zeppelin. :)

Agreed whole heartedly!

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Point 1: You're still getting the best possible outcome. The alternatives are: to have someone suck up prerequisite #20 and then find yourself at the unbeknownst end of building resentment that will eventually find a catalyst to break open the dam, to have someone write out a more thoroughly honest verbal reaction to what brought on their silence or curt response...particularly if they're made to feel they "owe" it to you.

Point 2: To the issue of "owing" anything, respect of basic liberties is not the same as succumbing to another person's sense of etiquette. There is no universal decency requirement on the internet and it's foolish to expect it. At best, you find cynical or cleverly humorous ways to roll with the downs and actively find ways to surround yourself with people who more exude the ups.

Both very good points. Duly noted

I suppose the hope that an online conversation will turn into a real life relationship leads me to treat the person on the other end the way I would treat someone in real life. I'm starting to see that this is a foolish way to conduct online conversations.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 7:51:59 PM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain
. . . we, especially as free Americans, have the right to do and say whatever we want within the law. . .

I find this comment quite presumptuous. You are making the assumption that everyone reading and commenting on these boards is a free American (assuming there is, in fact, some other kind). If you wish to receive courtesy, you are more likely to get it if you extend it first, and that includes being aware that not everyone fits into your pigeon-hole views.

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RE: Too Picky??? - 9/20/2009 8:28:08 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bimtrain

I'm sure I'm not the first person on here to post about this but I feel like I keep encountering the same situation.

In short it goes like this:

1. Sub lists twenty things she desires for/from her Dom and life as a sub/slave.
2. Dom says 19 of those are what he's looking for as well.
3. Sub basically tells Dom to fuck off.

I'm over simplifying but still... I know if I expected every condition of every situation I go into to be met I'd be living a very miserable and unfulfilling life.

And spare me the "everyone has a right to require what they want" speech. We're still talking about relationships here and no relationship in the history of this planet has ever been 100% perfect. Whether D/s, vanilla or otherwise, they ALL require compromise to one degree or another!

P.S. I've posted on the boards under my other profile before.

When I first read your post, I was thinking, 19 out of 20, seems pretty reasonable and that I could not understand why you were being treated so harshly, so I decided to look at your profile. I give you credits for that as many do not put anything. However…

Well after reviewing your profile I can see that the type of women you desire might be a little hard to find. While there is nothing wrong with wanting one to be healthy and try to look desirable as possible, requiring extensive body modifications it a little bit over the top. I am afraid only someone would have to want to be truly objectified would consider this to be acceptable possibility. Let us say, you were able to find such a woman, and she hands you a list of 10-15 things which require surgery for you. Are you willing to do the same thing that you are requiring of her?

I am afraid whoever gave you your definition of beauty did you a grave injustice. I can with 100% certainty that ones beauty is not determined by one’s outer packaging. Beauty is love, devotion, caring, trusting, and honesty.

I think that many may view you as one dimensional as you’re life focus is simply on one thing, sex. What value do you have to one another the other 22-23 hours of the day? You speak nothing of desiring true intimacy between yourself and your partner. You speak nothing of your partner’s value as a woman or as a human being. I must caution you that to make such requirements simply to be considered worthy of your manhood may backfire on you. While I am sure it would not be as fulfilling a 4.99 vibrator and two “C” batteries will get the job done for many women.

A quote from your profile
“She's generally pretty helpless and needs help doing anything I haven't already trained her well to do. She will want to surrender control of her entire life to her Master.”

Helpless; does the thought of a strong woman threaten you? Or do you have a need to micro manage as well? You profile, I am afraid, may give some the impression that you are a very insecure individual lacking in self esteem. This verified by your obsessive focus on the desire to look perfect when in view of others.

I am sorry but your profile suggests nothing as to your desire or ability to be a well rounded dominant, much less someone who would be comfortable in a TPE. I truly hope that when asked about previous experience, you can produce 10 years live-in experience that can be verified. But in all fairness, I guess it does not take much to tell someone to spread your legs, bend over or suck my….

I am afraid the stress of always being perfect may wear very heavily on most, for fear you may at some point feel them not perfect enough, despite all the surguries, exercise and make up, terminate the relationship, no matter how devoted they had been

I did not post this to degrade or disgrace you, but to simply show you how you might be being perceived. Good luck and I hope you get what you looking for

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