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TPEOwner -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 1:02:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: misstressnew
is there a size limit to being a domme?
the reason i ask is that i have received a message from a guy stating im too fat and to give up now
now im thinking he is just in need of some very firm discipline
just thought i would check though as i dont want to spend anymore cash than i already have on equipment. most seem great on here.
Forgive me for invoking the grammar police, but it's relavent to your question. There is no such thing as "a domme". Even accepting that "domme" is accepted in the community as an abreviateion of dominant when applied to a female, "dominant" is an adjective. So "a domme" is really doubly abreviated for "dominant woman". Since to the best of my knowledge there is no medical study suggesting that you can be too heavy to be a woman, we can then focus on weight as a determining factor in having a dominant personality. Even then though, there is a difference between having a dominant personality, and desiring to take the dominant role in your play or relationships. I know of many women with dominant personalites who prefer the submissive role in their relationships. I also know of many who consider themselves to be "a domme" who are as dominant as a houseplant. Your question therefore, can be taken two ways. "Does size limit someone from having a dominant personality?", or "does size limit someone from taking the dominant role in a relationship or play".
It is my experience in this wonderful internet driven "BDSM community" that the terms dominant and submissive mean virtually" (no pun intended) nothing. Everyone defines those terms differently, and thus they are essentially useless for anything other than a starting point. That being the case, what anyone else thinks you are or aren't should be totally irrelevant to you. If you can find somone who you wish to take the dominant role with, and who wishes to take the submissive role with you, then you can both live happily ever after, or at least until the next day when they decide you aren't a "real domme", or you decide they aren't a "real subbie", and the search begins again.
And as a couple of parting notes, toys don't make you dominant, no matter how many bags you have of them. If "most seem great on here" to you, then you have either not been here very long, you aren't very observent, or you have very low standards. This site is a cesspool of liars, game players and emotionally broken people. Out in the real world, only castlerealm can compete with collarme for being the most derided and loathed bdsm website. And frankly, the real world bdsm community aint so great either.
Happy hunting.
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