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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:22:31 PM

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Ron, now I think I am in love with you.

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(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:23:48 PM

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Nah, I was drunk. It's just the pint talking.

we gotta get together over some port right quick, it ain't like I will get pregnant being with you.

Ron

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:26:20 PM

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But I don't know! I know of one beer! And I 100% agree with you but... No... There are no buts. I just don't know how to fix this. The damage is done, whether they arrest her or not! And I doubt she would be... I don't know! Why is this my goddamn problem?! I'm so fucking sick of making everything my problem. I kept telling her, after a WEEK of missing her period, that she was pregnant. And she continued to drink. I warned her many times. I did my fucking part. No one else is stepping up and saying shit, so why the fuck should I? .....

BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:27:43 PM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Like someone else said... I'm not going to be enough. And shes only friends with people she drinks with... I'm thinking of talking to the dad but... Shes only been with him 9 months. I don't know if he knows her as well...

She knows you. Stop looking for excuses. You've stated in other posts you look out for other people before yourself. Think about your marinating niece /nephew. DO SOMETHING.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:29:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

But I don't know! I know of one beer! And I 100% agree with you but... No... There are no buts. I just don't know how to fix this. The damage is done, whether they arrest her or not! And I doubt she would be... I don't know! Why is this my goddamn problem?! I'm so fucking sick of making everything my problem. I kept telling her, after a WEEK of missing her period, that she was pregnant. And she continued to drink. I warned her many times. I did my fucking part. No one else is stepping up and saying shit, so why the fuck should I? .....

BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!

Am I your fucking sister's keeper?

YHWH

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:43:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

But I don't know! I know of one beer! And I 100% agree with you but... No... There are no buts. I just don't know how to fix this. The damage is done, whether they arrest her or not! And I doubt she would be... I don't know! Why is this my goddamn problem?! I'm so fucking sick of making everything my problem. I kept telling her, after a WEEK of missing her period, that she was pregnant. And she continued to drink. I warned her many times. I did my fucking part. No one else is stepping up and saying shit, so why the fuck should I? .....

BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!

Were you looking to help her or were you on here to relieve yourself of guilt for what you are worried she is doing by finding some answers to help justify a do nothing response? The latter is common for people coming to message boards that are not on topic in lieu of going places that are to hope to get someone to say something you want to hear.

The end of the day you are not your sister’s keeper but you do have to look yourself in the mirror and live with yourself now and in the future. Try to help or feel guilty if things go bad even if they are not your fault. It is unfortunate but life will never stop having valleys and one needs to accept and deal with that concept and not try to run away from it by deluding oneself regardless of your decision.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 3:12:42 PM

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I agree... I'm going to talk to her tonight.

(in reply to kccuckoldmist)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 3:14:19 PM

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brushing up on difficult conversations.........I feel...when you do the downsides to her, and; and; and......but don't shoot all the bullets at once.

LoneRanger

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to xoxkittenxox)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 3:21:44 PM

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Always good to keep a few of those silver bullets for just such an occasion................as in, "if you walk out that door right now I will call the cops on your drunken sorry ass!!"

Then do it.

It is very satisfying......(at least it was for me)

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 3:37:17 PM

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Ja, it can come to that and usually does........can't let it get you down.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 4:52:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

I agree... I'm going to talk to her tonight.

Will this be before or after you have your arm examined?

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Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to xoxkittenxox)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 4:54:25 PM

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and, depending on the laws in your area, it may be possible to have her committed to a medical facility until her baby is born, so that your sister is unable to harm the child growing in her.

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Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to purepleasure)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 5:30:59 PM

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Someone who takes one drink is not an alcoholic. A problem drinker, perhaps. If you can stop, you are not an alcoholic.

Alcoholics don't drink to party, they can't. It doesn't work any more. An alcoholic drinks to feel normal.

I suspect your sister has a deep seated drinking problem that could easily lead to being an alcoholic. But she's not one yet. Expect LOTS of denial.

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Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 5:31:32 PM

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My recommendations for what it's worth {understanding that i've worked with women/children with addictions for the last 14 years}:

Understand that the only thing you can do is offer her suggestions, options, and support
Be prepared to follow through with whatever you threaten to do
Call her obgyn...They are the most important people who need to be prepared to deal with the baby's withdrawal issues upon birth as well as further complications. (created by possible FAS or FASE)
Be willing and able to call the police on her if she leaves that house and is driving and you even have the slightest concern that she may be drinking.
be willing and able to call 911 if she attempts to stop drinking on her own.... Alcohol withdrawal is one of the few substances where withdrawal can physically kill you....
Get some help for you....Because as is typical for someone who is affected by someone else's alcoholism you seem to already have some symptoms of resentment, anger, irritability, etc.
i would strongly encourage you to get involved with al-anon.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/24/2009 4:41:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

But I don't know! I know of one beer! And I 100% agree with you but... No... There are no buts. I just don't know how to fix this. The damage is done, whether they arrest her or not! And I doubt she would be... I don't know! Why is this my goddamn problem?! I'm so fucking sick of making everything my problem. I kept telling her, after a WEEK of missing her period, that she was pregnant. And she continued to drink. I warned her many times. I did my fucking part. No one else is stepping up and saying shit, so why the fuck should I? .....

BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!

I am getting exhausted just from reading your up and down all over the place posts just on a computer screen - life with you must be quite .... dramatic

edited... because I was unnecessarily mean initially but god damn girlfriend

< Message edited by wandersalone -- 9/24/2009 4:45:13 AM >

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/24/2009 10:01:03 AM

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I'm tempted to go all caps here because I am qualified to speak to this point.

Why does someone drink ? To escape. When is it a problem ? Pretty much when that escape becomes more important than reality.

So, what is the sufferer escaping from ? Everyone I know who really beat alcohol found out and dealt with the underlying issues in their personality. These people were not terminal as those programs say, and it takes alot.

Of course to get to the underlying issue one must not be soused, and that can be a hurdle for one, then to actually figure out why is orders of magnitude more difficult. Usually it is a feeling of inadequacy and getting over it is usually a matter of gaining a sense of self, that you don't owe the world to look great, be friendly or any other damn thing.

I know I make it sound easy, but I know for sure that it is not. I have had the gun to my head, my neck in the noose, literally. I never wrote a note, I thought I was pretty serious about it, and to this day I still think I was. But at that brink was when I started to wake up.

To take this path, and really readjust one's self, it takes more than AA, or any other crap like that. I think intervention is a good idea, but should be conducted differently than it usually is. To really beat it you need good friends and family. You need not only good, but smart as well.

The sufferer must be willing to allow you to break through the wall they have built around the main problem. The major thing about one addicted to [anything] is that they got tired of thinking "Oh poor little old me". Eventually they would rather be numb to their own feelings, which in and of itself is not the worst thing in the world, it's just that their method of achieving this state is unacceptable as well as dangerous to society at times.

For more details on my perspective of the problem, mail me or something. We can keep it in forum if you like, but more personal info is required to intervene SUCCESSFULLY. Count on having a trying day if you persue this path.

T

(in reply to xoxkittenxox)

RE: Alcoholism - 9/25/2009 12:00:26 AM

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Sometimes i wonder. I took my life exoperience and tried to alliterate it to help others. There was no rponse, but if I had been discusing the color of Obama's tie there would be hundreds of respnses.

You all, non drinkers that hink people should not drink, you just won a free stay in
Cleveland. You get your ass up here and live with this human shit, and learn how to deal with it. You WILL drink to cope, or blow up. Or you could choose rom a conicopia of other drugs, available locally. I can get shit the goverment can't get.

The difference is that I say no. I said yes today to a couple of shotsd of Jack. A couple of shots, it was not my bottle. I do not want a bottle in front of me, I wouod almost prefer a frontal lobotomy.

For me, and really anyone else, quitting is a farce. Nice convenient one concocted up by those who profit by your failure in case you hadn't noticed.

Never quit. Yes you heard right, never quit, don't even try. Just stop. If you have to quit coke, make sure thr is always coke in the house. If you have to quit alcohol, make sure there is som of your favorite apartif around somewhere. It is a day to day, perhaps even a minute tominute decision. And the only wat to be sure is to have the alternative ready and available. Like I know this crackheaad, makes about a hundred grand a year. Sells his car for five hundred bucks.

Now this guy's paychwck next week is ong to be about a grand, but he needs it now so bad ? If I EVER got to that popint I would put a gun in my mouth and do what is required. I wlll not live like that.

I can do what is required, but I warn you, it is not east fo th sufferer. I will tea them down and rebuild them. This is not the first time. But I have found it to be th only way, and it works on all addictions, no mtter what thehy are. Coke, smoke, alcohol, money, sex. I must admit that I have never cured a sex junkie though.

At any rate, let them contact me, get me on cmal and then email. I think I can help. I really do know what I am talking about. I know how these people think, because I was once one of them. I KNOW there is only one way ou, and her it is. Your AA and all tht otheer shit will not work. I know this, and have known it for a long time. I don't want to take away from the efforts that AA and other groups have done, but in reality they are largely ineffective.

If you want tue stories about people who really beat the demon, I will be happy to oblige. Accounts from family members, hell I might even come up with some video clips.; but you decide.

We got tough on a couple of people, well beyond what your law allows. The cops won't even come here. You canhowl at the moon all night if you wish, or talk. It is your choice.

T

PS, I did mention that I had some Jack Daniels. I am not proofing this and y'll can use it as a tool to build you guafe with wich to judge nt non-sobriety. Fair enough ? But I do admit that I am drink right now, I would not attempt to to go driving arond or making something on the lathe.

You know the single most importsnt reason to quit drrking ? You can do just about anjythig you want, as long as you're not drining. Like pot, you burn one in the middle of the night with yer oladty on the third, and on the fifteenth some guy hits your truck. You need drug est. Wait a mintuem this idiot hit you @. Now if yo hadn't burnt one with your olady last Saturday night, you coud sue and collect millions of dolars, but since there was a trace of THC in your system you have to pay.

Sure the systm is fair !

I am not being sarcastic or anything, just know what you are dealing with, and that you are not playing with kids.

T

PS, drunkass me is signing off, I hope I wasnt too bad today.

T

(in reply to Termyn8or)

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