Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: loaning out your sub?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: loaning out your sub? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 11:52:26 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

hi jazz...i realize i am a slave, not a Master, but i could not resist speaking up on this thread as my Master does loan me out domestically and sexually to other men only, both Dominants and "vanillas." this has been a facet of our relationship from the very start, and in our 9 years together i honestly cannot count how many men he has shared me with, many dozens i suppose.

since your question referred to being loaned out to Dominant men specifically, i'll share with you how that typically occurs. He will get to know another Dominant usually online first, and if they happen to share certain ideas and viewpoints about submission and slavery, and have interests that are appealing to my Master, he may then consider loaning me out to that person. sometimes it may be just once, other times it may be an ongoing situation. i generally have no say in these circumstances, unless after an experience with a particular Dominant i am left visibly emotionally or psychologically scarred.



Thanks for sharing that daddysprop247 You both obviously have a very strong and safe dynamic.
I hope you don't mind me asking but do you find that the borrower sometimes takes advantage of the situation?

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 12:17:32 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz



Thanks for sharing that daddysprop247 You both obviously have a very strong and safe dynamic.
I hope you don't mind me asking but do you find that the borrower sometimes takes advantage of the situation?


you're welcome jazz, and pls just call me prop. to answer your question, when i have been loaned out to other Dominants, no, none have taken advantage. more than likely this is because these Dominants have significant exchanges with my Master and are carefully selected by him. but with others, sometimes yes they have taken advantage and some have been outright abusive. the risks with non-Dominants are much greater, as it is not the same process and these men could be chosen in a wide variety of ways, even by me on occasion. and it is the very riskiness and increased vulnerability that makes these situatiosn appealing to my Master.



(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 12:34:48 PM   
bliss4us09


Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline
It would depend on whether loaning her would help her on the path. If that was a logical next step for her, then yes.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 1:00:13 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am putting this on both Ask a Master and Ask a Mistress because I am interested to see if the response from a Mistress differs from the response of a Master.

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
For those that have done it, how did it work out?





Nope.  He wouldn't.  He has made it quite clear that he doesn't share me at all with anyone ever.
That works for me. 

_____________________________



(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 1:08:47 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am putting this on both Ask a Master and Ask a Mistress because I am interested to see if the response from a Mistress differs from the response of a Master.

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
For those that have done it, how did it work out?




A1- Not as long as I live and breathe
A2- N/A
A3- We would be having a very serious dicussion about the relationship
A4- N/A

< Message edited by Acer49 -- 9/25/2009 1:09:24 PM >


_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 8:02:49 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?

It depends.  For sex, no.  For nonsexual play, possibly,  For service, probably.


What is nonsexual play vs service?

We gotta be on the same wave length in regards to terms if we are gonna understand each other.

I serve my Sir.  I am obedient to his will for me.
I also serve Sir.  A special time when he and I are physically & emotionally intimate, with or without b/sm but definately he is in control of all we do for that special service. 

Sir's property

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 8:05:35 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Fair 'nuff.  I consider nonsexual play to be bondage, flogging, whipping, spanking... all kinds of kinky play but no penetration.  But it's still play, while service is work.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 8:31:14 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I consider nonsexual play to be bondage, flogging, whipping, spanking... all kinds of kinky play but no penetration.  



All that good good shit is nonsexual to you?


Wow. YKINMK. I am soooo over you, DarkSteven.

                                                                                  (...Not....)






_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 8:42:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am putting this on both Ask a Master and Ask a Mistress because I am interested to see if the response from a Mistress differs from the response of a Master.

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?

Define loaning. He's never actually said "Hey you go serve/scene/screw this guy" but I have served/screwed/scened with other dominants.
quote:


If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?

Other than giving his permission, he hasn't so far. I just asked him if he would want to and he said no, he trusts my judgement.
quote:


How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?

He said he felt "shrug".
quote:

   
For those that have done it, how did it work out?

It's out pretty damn well for us so far really. It suits our personalities and we have a good understanding of each other and our thought processes. I take great care to ensure I never abuse my privilage to play and because of this, he knows he doesn't need to restrict it further.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 8:43:56 PM   
inevertell


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/23/2009
Status: offline
I don't loan out subs or slaves, but I have allowed them to be used by others in my presence. That way the connection between me and the sub remains and my presence prevents the other from overstepping their bounds or violating any limits.

Each time I've done it it was an enjoyable experience for all concerned. Now, if it was simply a service related task, then perhaps I would do it, but anything as intimate as sexual service would only happen in my presence.

I've never sent a sub or slave to another Dom for sessions or punishment. That is my role and only my role. She's MY sub or slave and its MY responsibility to tend to her mental, emotional, and physical needs. Its the deal I make with my subs; you may be used by another if I so desire, but no one but me will ever punish you or cause you pain.

Thats just my way.

(in reply to designURshemale)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 9:19:17 PM   
CNJDom


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am putting this on both Ask a Master and Ask a Mistress because I am interested to see if the response from a Mistress differs from the response of a Master.

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
For those that have done it, how did it work out?





I won't lend out my sub for sexual play and it would take a special person for me to even consider non-sexual use.  I say consider, but it is more than likely, that I wont be good with sharing period.  My possession is that:  my possession.  I used to lend out some of my things...guitars, drums, and other things:  nothing came back better or as they had left.  These were all things that I cherish.  I learned a good lesson.  She would do anything for me, but I would not ask her of that sort of thing.  The girl has also asked this question to me, and I've responded pretty much the same.  She is happy with that and wanted it this way herself.

If there came a time that she would ask if she could be loaned out, there would be a good reason attached to this request.  She would respect my decision yes or no, and even if it were for non-sexual play.  I could use her to demonstrate something to someone else, or encourage her to volunteer for demo-sub at something like TES if she declared that she had an interest in it, or that I strongly wanted her to try something out, but in all those cases, I'd be there watching over her.  She's just not that kind of submissive.  And I won't put her into a situation like that, and feel comfortable. 

In the past,  I have had a few subs that would ask if they could be used by another Dominant (male or female), and I have consented because the Dominant in question would be a good friend or someone that I trusted completely, knowing that they are more than competent to return my possession back to me unharmed or damaged.  In a couple of cases, one sub was wanting to sub for another new-ish Dom, and this person I was not too keen on.  After a few moments watching him, I realized that he was not doing good, and stopped it pronto. 

I tried to show him proper technique, and let him proceed but with me now watching him like a hawk.  He still didn't work the tool in his hand properly as I would have had it, and so I took back the submissive once I explained that this behavior was enough.  He respected my wishes and relinquished her back to me proper.  Her safety, trust in me,  and well-being is far more important than letting someone have their way with her or conduct themselves improperly.  She's my responsibility.  I am possessive in a way that I would like to think is a healthy one. 


_____________________________

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
 ~Ivan Panin

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/25/2009 9:32:43 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
I would and have loaned out my male subs before. To a Mistress friend of mine I trust explicitly, he thought my training methods we're harsh. (means I ordered him to spend three days at my house cleaning while I was out of town, and he fucked it up didn't get anything done, so he spent 2 hours on his knees on uncooked rice in the corner) So I sent him to my friend to show him what harsh ment.

He did not show up to her house.

He showed up at my house a week later. I took his collar from him and shut the door in his face.

I'd do it again, but not with a submissive like that.


ETA: I've never had a submissive I was sexual with so, I cant say much on that. but it was really nice me and one or two of the local mistresses would be sending our boys to each others houses to fix something, or treat the single ladies to a night of pampering...etc...good times.


< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 9/25/2009 9:42:06 PM >


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to designURshemale)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/26/2009 5:33:43 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
I've been *given* to other dominant males but it wasn't out of an idea predominantly from either of us. The notion of me being given to someone else, in certain circumstances, has never been abhorrant to either of us, though the circumstances don't arise very often and it's not something we actively seek out.

One instance was unsatisfactory for the *visitor*, because he actually wanted the *control AND devotion*. He wanted me to want HIM in the same way I want M and although it was made perfectly clear that that wouldn't happen, he had (in hindsight) still held onto the thought that it would be *different* with him. Of course , it wasn't. He'd had all the information, had paid lip-service to it and went away feeling slightly miffed that he hadn't been able to elicit the same degree of slavish devotion that M has. He couldn't undertand that I'd obey him because that was what M had decreed.......he wanted me to WANT to obey him for the same reasons that I obey M. Unrealistic.

With the second *visitor* It was very much that the visitor was a *second in command* , in that the ultimate responsiblity and authority remained with M. Everyone knew that beforehand,  and the dom didn't expect to have ultimate control of me. It was always clear that he had as much *control* as he'd been given by M and there was never any confusion about how things *stood*.
He didn't expect me to obey him, for HIM alone , but understood that I obeyed because M had said I must. He went away perfectly happy and also with an attitude of gratitude for having been invited to be part of something where he got to experience things he wouldn't have otherwise.

To sum it up......it was all about expectations and being able to be honest about them.

agirl









(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/26/2009 6:14:03 AM   
ShoreBound149


Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?

No. 
quote:


How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?

It would indicate to me the beginning of the end of our relationship.

_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/27/2009 5:34:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Sexually or play? No, we're monogamous.
Havint me cook for a sick friend or do their laundry? Sure, I call friends in trouble and ask if I can do their grocery shopping, make them something, anyway so this would be no different.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to designURshemale)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/27/2009 7:51:14 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
Hierodule's Master Tony

Hierodule is my slave girl. I monitor this account. I see everything and have every right too, because she belongs to me. I own her, body and soul.

I've been doing this for a long time, since I was a teenager, really. I have the Master gene. Although I believe there's a difference in "loaning out a sub" and "loaning out a slave" the underlying current is the same.

All human beings are multi-dimensional creatures. We all have physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs and once these are filled to a comfortable level, there is a peace and calmness that envelops us completely. The Master/Slave relationship as I understand it, and have experienced it (and it is a relationship, not a coupling), requires a connection that is so profound that it only happens under unique circumstances. It's about surrender, trust, pleasure and freedom. Most importantly is the fact that the relationship MUST reach deeper than physical or mental limitation, but touch the soul. The Master MUST see the Slave's soul through her eyes, otherwise how can he truly know her to own her? How can he feed those physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs, because without it, the freedom that a true slave feels from completely surrendering to her Master eludes her. The Master, who can see his slave's soul, knows her limits without having to ask (everyone has limits), deep darkest desires, her wants and needs and because of the spiritual connection, she trusts her Master more than she trusts herself.

It's also that deep, scorched, brand onto the soul that makes the concept of "loaning out a sub" a mute point because it doesn't matter what you demand your slave to do in your service, or for your mutual pleasure (because her pleasure is always my pleasure), she belongs to you body and soul. That deep mutual connection is what bonds the Slave to her Master. I demand that connection. I yearn for it and without it would not feel she truly belonged to me. She would not be my owned possession; she would just be someone in tow.

Why couldn’t the Master be everything to her slave? Why couldn’t the Master love his slave like a boyfriend, unconditionally like a father, to nurture as a mother, to protect like an older brother, to fuck like a husband, bound like a kidnapper, violate like a rapist, as long as its within the realm of mutual pleasure. If there is something that the slave desires that a Master cannot provide (which must still please the Master), either from himself, or a surrogate, then there is a hole left unfulfilled, leaving a void in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual need, which if left unchecked can corrode the interweaving of the souls. A Master must choose their slave wisely and carefully, as there is an intensity of energy released during the mating ritual.

I enjoy my slave sexually. She, in my eyes, is a sexual goddess and because she is so exceptional, I like to watch her service other men and/or women, and after I finish her training, servicing multiple men and women. Watching my goddess exceeds the eroticism attempted by any adult movie. She is not only doing it for our mutual pleasure, but she's so sensual, so sexual that it reminds me of one of the reasons she is my chosen one. She is now freer than ever before, yet, has completely surrendered her will to me completely, and thus is the magic of the true Master/Slave bond.

I don't get jealous. I get aroused. I so enjoy watching her escape to that special place when I give her pleasure. Why wouldn’t I enjoy it watching it from afar? I do not share my cock with anyone else because it is her rock (no pun intended); her absolute. Although, in the past, the most wicked and painful punishment then becomes having her bound and forced to watch her Master with another, because jealously can be quite a distraught and displeasing pain. She is my exceptional goddess, and she must know that every moment of everyday she lives. She must know that it's always safe to trust me, more than herself and THAT is far more important than having someone else's slave. When I've swapped, I command the other Master's slave to service my slave as she wishes. No one can do her harm, or I will make that person, male or female, bleed. I have no qualms about protecting my slave and making an example of anyone. What? I can’t have simple pleasure from spanking my slave’s ass, or from pounding some asshole’s face? Really. We all dig a little violence.

If I haven't burned myself into her soul, than there is no bond deeper than just words and her worshiping of my cock, and although I have an exceptionally experienced cock, there’s plenty of cock. When I've invaded her soul, I'm always there inside her (again, no pun intended), within her, to comfort her and protect her, and watch her as she sucks someone else's cock (with my permission). No matter where or what she is doing, I am there with her to set her aflame, whether I'm physically there or not. I am her Master in her dreams, when she's working, when she's shopping, playing her music with her friends or when I'm tying, slapping or fucking her.

She belongs to me forever, as any of my previous slaves still realize no matter how much time passes or far away they run. If they do not respect or want that connection, that comfort, and protection that gives them a perpetual smile because “it becomes all too consuming”, and they run away (which has happened) then good riddance, because that trust works both ways.

This one is my dream, and I have the experience to know that I am very fortunate.

Master Tony

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/27/2009 8:43:18 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male? Yes

If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master? Yes and yes

How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out? Stunned? Other than that, curious as to why.

For those that have done it, how did it work out? Have not, don't expect to any time soon. I wouldn't expect it to work out well without a great deal of care.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/27/2009 9:53:16 AM   
Bearandfox


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss4us09

It would depend on whether loaning her would help her on the path. If that was a logical next step for her, then yes.

This makes good sense to me.
And I will add to "Our" path...

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
Yes, and I have.
If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
No, and although a specific person can be requested by her, if approval is met, than the choice is mine.
How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
The first time, initially intrigued by the request.. 
For those that have done it, how did it work out?

It has so far worked well.

(in reply to bliss4us09)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/27/2009 11:03:05 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
Hi, Maria----
Hope all is well with you and yours!  :> 
   Davan
 
 
Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
****As I'm not a dominant male (Nor are all), I'm answering as me: No, I wouldn't loan out My boy to a male or a female. 

If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
****Given the boy I am contemplating in this instance, if it did come up as a desire, it would be a mutual enterprise if one at all. 

How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
****Curious to hear the request in its totality and to have a dialogue. 

For those that have done it, how did it work out?
****Given my marriage, I know I can share if I desire to do so/if I chose to.  Lots of people behave like fools, though, and can not handle themselves or the bouny that the Universe affords them.  My immediate response to this thought process is what's Mine is Mine and unless I deemed it a mutually beneficial and, above all, relationally affirmational step, I would not take it. 
   Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 9/27/2009 11:18:57 PM >


_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Bearandfox)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: loaning out your sub? - 9/28/2009 4:24:17 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am putting this on both Ask a Master and Ask a Mistress because I am interested to see if the response from a Mistress differs from the response of a Master.

Would you consider loaning your sub out to another Dominant male?
He dislikes the idea.

If so would it have to be your idea and would you choose the other Master?
If this ever comes up as a possibility, He will be the motivator, not i, as agreed upon at the very beginning of the relationship.

How would you feel if your sub asked you if she could be loaned out?
When We discussed the basic shape of Our relationship many moons ago, it was made clear that this was not acceptable.


Edited to add: This is actually a fundamental part of my submission to Him.


< Message edited by petmonkey -- 9/28/2009 4:30:03 AM >


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: loaning out your sub? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.070