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abuddingdom -> RE: Orgasm Possible? (9/29/2009 5:26:12 AM)
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A sad story, one heard too often, & one which makes me angry as well as sad.
I just read through the posts and had a couple questions which I don't think were asked about or addressed and I really hope they don't come off as insensitive, especially coming from a guy : before getting out of that awful and dysfunctional situation did you have any normal / healthy sexual relations with other people? And, this is really really touchy but did you ever have orgasms during those dysfunctional experiences? If so, it's likely that it adds to the baggage and trauma but also likely at least possible that there's hope - if you've ever experienced it under any circumstances then at least you're capable of it. I'd compare it to the anology of men who think they're impotent - one of the first things a doctor or therapist will ask is if they ever have nocturnal erections or have them when awakening in the morning. If so, then that rules out physical problems and they can hopefully get to work on the psychological issues. One more thing which comes to mind : I've personally known a number of women who damaged themselves with heavy duty overuse of vibrators, all of them when they were very young and simply didn't know better. They loved orgasms so much that they wanted to have them a lot, and later either couldn't experience them or had great difficulty experiencing them. Some, as adults, can only have orgasms with manual stimulation.
At any rate, I'm certain that with the amount of therapy that you've had those questions were addressed.
I hate publicly admitting it but it took me well over half my life to learn and respect the fact that women & men are different. The plumbing is obviously different, & I couldn't deny that, but I didn't want to face that emotionally we're 2 very different animals with different needs and wants and ways of doing things. I don't want to jack the thread and go off on my issues, past or present, but I've learned that women have issues which can't just be wished away. Hell, everyone does but guys, women ARE different. This isn't an uncommon story and there's so damn much damage done (and it usually goes unpunished, which is also another topic), but you seem to have a healthy attitude, op, and are lucky to have found a good partner.
I've been know to insert that old clumsy foot in my clumsy mouth a time or two. I hope I haven't here, addrssing female issues, and apologise if I did.
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