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Munches - 9/28/2009 4:54:11 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
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Hello A/all,

This question is primarily aimed at Mistresses (hence the venue); but, all in-put is desired, Sorry if that sounds Up-ity or Whatever-ity.

First, a preface of sorts. I finally had a positive experience at a "Munch." I have been to a few on both on my side of the Ohio River and on the South side. In the past, I have gone alone to these functions. Most of the time I will encounter an acquaintance; sometimes (obviously), I won't know a soul. I feel like an interloper almost all of the time

Most recently, I went in the company of my Training Officer, Meade.
She made at least one contact of her own and made it obvious that she was playing matchmaker for me ("no joy" on this occasion). The point is that I didn't feel like a disruptive presence this time.

That brings me to my question(s). My "Shyness Issues" aside, are newcomers regarded with a bit of suspicion? Speaking for myself, the nature of our interest is something that I am closed mouthed about in public.

Are there protocols that I may have breached? I am socially clumsy.

Or... Did I have some sort of Mistress 'Seal of Approval?'

Of course I may have missed the whole point of a Munch. Are these munches more of an opportunity for Mistress to get together and comiserate about one line e-mails and... ahem... Rooster Photos and other Subbie foibles?

Well, I just wanted some input on Munches from the rest of you.

Thanks,
Mike
SnowRanger

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RE: Munches - 9/28/2009 6:33:19 PM

GoddessSpitfire

Posts: 45
Joined: 3/25/2009
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hmm is this a joke or some line of trickery? Munches are for people Dom/mes and subs alike who are getting together to have a great time together and enjoy great food and company. Its also a possiblity that you may or may not find someone to connect with.

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RE: Munches - 9/28/2009 8:37:22 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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Yep, what GS said: munches should be social opportunities for kinksters to interact in a neutral setting without most of the BDSM trappings.

On the other hand, there are all too many munches that are more slanted affairs; these things can vary depending on who runs stuff, how, & who shows up to any given munch . . . .

Even more so than with 'vanilla' social gatherings, I think it's 'normal' to feel awkward, uncomfortable, or otherwise to take a while to get comfy with hanging out with kinksters. After all, for many of us, kink is about sex & some of the most intimate stuff in our lives -- sharing that with strangers isn't even necessarily a natural to exhibitionistic extroverts like me, much less to the more privately oriented masses . . . . . . We are getting together at munches to discuss & joke about sexual stuff & that's such powerful material that is so constrained in much of the rest of our lives . . . . & so I think that for a number of people who come to munches, that it's going to take them some time to start to feel 'at home' around the 'local community' . . ..

& just as it's gonna probably be problematic to bring 'shopping expectations' online, those will probably yield frustration if they're brought to munches, too. Or play parties. Or festivals / fairs. Or conferences . .. . . (Not sayin' you're doin' that, Snow, just following my thoughts along their meanders . . . . ) For me, this is my preferred social group, kinksters. I'm into hanging out with other BDSM-inclined folk . . . . . Going to munches, classes, play parties, et al. is what I want to do with my time; having a partner would just mean that it would be 'we' going to these things I'd be doing anyway . . . . . ..

Hell, I'm feeling so 'fetish separatist' these days that even if I wanted to do something vanilla I'd probably rather find some kinky people to do it with, rather than have to watch my mouth around 'nilla persons . .. . . .

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RE: Munches - 9/29/2009 5:47:01 AM

MsStarlett

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Joined: 12/23/2007
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I've actually only been to one 'munch'. Didn't really enjoy it as it was in a very public restaurant where every one had to be on our 'best behavior' so as to not offend the families with children at the next table(s). While I did get to chatt with some new people and reconnect with some old friends, I didn't feel like I had enough "Mingle" time. That's hard to do when you're sitting down to eat as most people do tend to sit with old friends and talking about 'old times' rather than getting to know the new peeps. I can totally see how this set up would be very intimidating to new people. I much prefer parties in the open, either in some one's home / yard or a park where people move around and mingle more. I greatly enjoy meeting new people and hearing new stories. But that's just me.

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RE: Munches - 9/29/2009 8:41:13 AM

lobodomslavery

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Yeah the munches are great craic
Kevin

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RE: Munches - 9/29/2009 12:38:43 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Munches are for whatever the persons in attendance want.. .but it is a vanilla thing, no protocols or fancy schmancy. Sometimes folks talk about the weather, sometimes they share war stories!

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RE: Munches - 9/29/2009 2:40:38 PM

LadyPact

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In My personal opinion, I'm actually *less* suspicious of the folks who come out to munches. It means they have made an investment and were willing to do something other than sit behind their computer at home. To Me, that means they are at least making an effort and I'm more than happy to welcome them.

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RE: Munches - 9/29/2009 3:02:36 PM

MissCake

Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
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You may not meet the right person at the munch, but they are generally good for networking and learning about who and what is out there in your area. If you tell others what you seek, they can help. I have always found that newbs are very welcome (hell, everyone's looking for fresh meat after all). Usually your general level of politeness and friendliness that you learned at the Kindergarten Christmas Party is all that's expected at a munch. Those who engage in high protocol will usually relax a bit at a munch knowing not everyone knows their particular set of rules. (A sub who is on speech restriction is usually allowed to say "you have to talk to my dominant"). At the ones near me we wear color coded name tags which help a great deal. (One for doms, another for switches, another for subs.) If someone gets pissed you called them Sir instead of Master, or Miss instead of Ma'am, they are not to be taken seriously. They may say what they prefer, but no one should be getting pissy.

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