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Ialdabaoth -> RE: Damn Polanski for making me agree with Republicans (10/1/2009 8:22:22 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SpinnerofTales
Once again, I agree entirely.
So, if I may do so civilly, let me hone in on where I have a problem with most conventional attitudes about child sexuality:
To me, the true crime in abusing a child isn't that they're a child. The true crime in abusing a child is that you're disrespecting the sovereignty of another person, in the worst way possible.
I hear a lot of rhetoric about "some things you just shouldn't do to children", and how children need "absolute protection", and whenever I hear it, I cringe... because I feel like it's taking away childrens' innate right to work out for themselves what they want and don't want to happen to them.
And yeah, I fully get that children are often not as prepared as adults to make certain decisions. And I think it's vile to take advantage of anyone's disadvantage. But I think that there aren't certain kinds of disadvantage that are more wrong than others, and I think oftentimes that children need to be given more credit than our culture is currently prepared to regarding making their own choices.
If someone takes advantage of a kid and fucks them up, that person has done a horrible thing, regardless of whether they're a bad teacher training a kid to think they're stupid, or a molester training a kid to think they're sexually broken, or an overbearing parent training a kid to think they're helpless and can't do anything right.
The crime isn't one of "ruining" a kid, or somehow "deflowering" some mystical innocence, and the attitude that projects those values onto kids (without their consent) does more harm than raping them, in my opinion.
18 is not some magical "switch" where a child instantly becomes an adult, and can magically be thrown all the things that they were too precious and innocent to handle 3 seconds before their birthday, without even explaining these things to them.
18 is a point on a continuum, and that continuum is different for each person. There will come an age where children are ready to be explained how sex works, and given ideas about what are smart and not-so-smart decisions to make. There will come an age, usually soon after this, where children are ready to be explained why their bodies are changing, and why they suddenly feel the way they do, and what are healthy and less-than-healthy things they can do with those feelings. There will come an age sometime after this, where they can be given opportunities to explore and experiment with their sexuality, as safely as we can provide for them, so that they aren't entering the adult world completely fucking blind.
Sex isn't special. It's no different than any other vitally important act that we perform as a species. Just like every other aspect of growing up, we need to be talking to kids frankly, fully respecting the adult they're going to become, and not oohing and ahhing about the precious little snowflake we think they are now. Maturity is a continuum, and we need to stop treating it like a black-and-white line.
For one thing, this will take away all the bizzare "forbidden fruit" lore that our culture uses to cultivate certain kinds of pedophiles (Lolita, The Professional, Lazy Town, Kate Moss, American Beauty... I'm talking to you.) For another, it's a far more realistic way of addressing the situation. And on the third hand, for those freakish mutants in the audience, it's the right thing to do for the kids.
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