RE: Foot worshipping Dom (Full Version)

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JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:28:55 PM)

As you write I do get the jist of your P.O.V. but the inspiration stance. What happens to make a woman decide to submit to a dom? Do they submit to a Dom blindly, without any thing to move them there? For me, I think they found something inside of their Dom that inspired or ignited their submission. Why would anyone submit to another person if there were nothing in it for them?



JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:30:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


Another similarity between this and the "mistress-no-blowjob" threads is that they are usually started by a male sub who is alone. 


I don't know enough about the peopl's private life to make such personal accusations so I don't know if the male subs are so alone or not and I don't think it's really related to the topic of feet kissing.



JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:34:40 PM)

Other people here are fine with doms kissing feet. I'm fine with him beating my feet. Feet kissing is too symbolic of adoring worship so for me if my Dom started to kiss and pamper and adore my feet, I would be uncomfortable to the point of finding a different dom.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:36:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


Another similarity between this and the "mistress-no-blowjob" threads is that they are usually started by a male sub who is alone. 


I don't know enough about the peopl's private life to make such personal accusations so I don't know if the male subs are so alone or not and I don't think it's really related to the topic of feet kissing.

It's not an accusation if someone states it about himself in a public posting on this message board.  I'm not accusing, or analyzing, anyone.  An analysis includes "why" and a plan of action for changing something.  I am simply noting that the facts of what posters have claimed about their backgrounds in other threads is a close match to what SimplyIsaac has claimed about himself in the past.

Edited to add: You may find, as you read the message boards more, that people who say, "This is what I like, and if you're not into it, I'm not for you, but good luck," are people who are in relationships or have a history of healthy relatinoships.  And, by contrast, the people who post things like, "All subs should do this," or, "No dom is like that," are usually lonely men.



BIGEBAG4 -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:44:54 PM)

i would want to believe as a sub/slave , a DOM would be the one getting their feet kissed by the sub? i guess it was just the way i was trained.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 3:59:43 PM)

My Sir has kissed, bitten and caned my feet. Of the three, i prefer kissing.

And it didn't occur to me to think he was being "undomly", since everything he does is dominant - in that, as a dom, he isn't submissive. As he will happily tell you , he doesn't have a submissive bone in his body.

No respect lost here. [:D]



SimplyIsaac -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 4:14:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BIGEBAG4

i would want to believe as a sub/slave , a DOM would be the one getting their feet kissed by the sub? i guess it was just the way i was trained.


Apparently, according to some here, that's very passé.



SimplyIsaac -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 5:30:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

"Stop relying on "common sense" and start relying on what real human beings are telling you about their real lives."


When did I cease to become a real human being? Or is being a "single" human as you suspect I am the bad thing? If so, then you may want to consider the opinions of two here who openly state they are in relationships and say nay on the foot worship.


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Stop relying on "common sense".


And there it is. Thank you, Red. I rest my case.



ncbabe -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 7:16:37 PM)

Would it be fair to say that some Doms are able to kiss their subs feet without losing their domliness, some Doms would never do it in a million years, some subs would not lose respect for their Dom if they kissed their feet and some would?  Is not the point that as Doms and subs we are all different?  Is this not why we search for someone who is compatible with us?

It seems to me that this is all a matter of personal opinion, and no amount of arguing is going to change the mind of someone who already feels strongly one way or the other.  I do not believe there is a right or wrong here.  Just individual preference.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/13/2009 8:04:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
As you write I do get the jist of your P.O.V. but the inspiration stance. What happens to make a woman decide to submit to a dom?

Jonas,
I look at it completely different. The Dom decides to allow the submissive to serve. The sub proves him/herself worthy. A that point all you need is consistency and truthful representation from both sides.

quote:

Why would anyone submit to another person if there were nothing in it for them?
For some who seek, and the lucky few who find them, serving in and of itself is enough. Serving is what's in it for them.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 9:55:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

You show idiocy, ignorance, and assumption here. I have had one communication with DemonKia, and that was just yesterday.


Yes, I noticed. Kia was quite sure of forecasting your arrival on the 12th in Post #: 184. Before then, we saw neither hide nor hair of you in this thread. I guess we'll just let the readers decide on this, if they even care.

 
I have been following this topic and several others, without comment, and comment when I feel like it. Your paranoria is kind of telling. Yeah the readers can decide for themselves, as I have a huge post count for them to do research on, rather than jump to a conclusion, which you have done. Also, the passive aggressive bullshit of insinuating I am a liar, is pretty depeceptive. If you believe I am lying, come right out and call me a liar. At least that is more emotionally and intellectually honest than the way you have been proceeding, and I can respect that a lot better.

quote:


As for my show of idiocy and ignorance, well, again, ad hominems are getting a little old here, don't you think? By all means, proceed if they make you feel better.


You actually need to do some reading on ad hominems. What I did is closer to a personal insult and attack, as I have not used it as a tactic to detract from your points. For someone that states they are so educated in some of your posts, I thought you would know the difference.

"Ad hominems is an argument which links the validity of a premise to a characteristic or belief of a person advocating the premise[1]."

Also, I would not say it if 1) They were not true perceptions of mine and 2) It did not please me to say it.

If you look back at my comment on the OP, and then pull just your points without commentary, they are very similar. It is your delivery and deceptive debate tactics I have an issue with.



SimplyIsaac -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/13/2009 10:41:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

You actually need to do some reading on ad hominems.


Cited from the very same source you use:

Person 1 makes claim X
There is something objectionable about Person 1
Therefore claim X is false

Simple, concise, and appropriately used, but that's of course my opinion. Are we done yet?



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/14/2009 4:36:22 AM)

The only claim that is false, is the assumption that I came running into this topic because of "buddies" or a "clique" were under attack. So if that is your evidence, I suppose it correct. So remove idiocy, and leave the others. You made an incorrect assumption. Your paranoia is making you believe there is this CM clique that is out to get you. Those are not ad homonems, those are observations.

Now do you have anything to contribute to the topic, or do you need some immodium for your diarhea of the mouth?



JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 4:51:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
As you write I do get the jist of your P.O.V. but the inspiration stance. What happens to make a woman decide to submit to a dom?

Jonas,
I look at it completely different. The Dom decides to allow the submissive to serve. The sub proves him/herself worthy. A that point all you need is consistency and truthful representation from both sides.

quote:

Why would anyone submit to another person if there were nothing in it for them?
For some who seek, and the lucky few who find them, serving in and of itself is enough. Serving is what's in it for them.





So I guess I agree, moreover I agree wholeheartedly that "serving" is why they're there. But why serve that dom? What about that dom makes them want to serve him? Something must of inspired the sub to want to serve the dom. Unless they were forced, something drove them to want to serve that particular dom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I look at it completely different. The Dom decides to allow the submissive to serve.


The dom can't allow any sub to serve unless there's a desire within the sub to serve in the FIRST place. Without a desire to serve, the dom can't allow anything. The subs desire to serve is what gives the dom the ability to "allow" her to serve. Something caused her to want to serve him. Something inspired her submission. Or something forced her submission.



RCdc -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/14/2009 5:36:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac
The thread was started by GabrielleSlave.


Maybe so - but for a man - her friend - that she could offer others input to.

quote:

 Are you suggesting that a submissive doesn't need to be inspired by the dominant from the outset in order to serve?

 
If submission/domination or service is innate, as it is for some people then it does not have need to be inspired.  It doesn't need to be anything.  Inspiration causes stirrings which are not always - like music inspiring an uplifting mood or intense emotion, or the sight of a staving child or injured animal to inspire someone to donate.  Of course there are people who need to be inspired to put parts of themselves into action - but equally there are those that have qualities that are innate and need nothing to pull/release it from them.  In such cases, people need to work on their judgement capabilities, which does not always work well as many a thread or vicarious experience relates.
quote:

 
 Internalizing my ability to serve and be submissive is one thing, but for it to connect in serving another person, there has to be some sort of reason why.

Reward does not have to come from the person you are serving/submitting/dominating.  It can come from an internal satisfaction.  Whilst I personally do not believe that any of the forementioned are selfless acts, I do, from past personal experience understand that there is a reason why - even if that why is internal.
quote:

 
Apparently, according to some here, that's very passé.

Not passé, but for me personally, I do find it naive to equate an action with an orientation.  Training is one thing - that is understanding the concepts and rituals that a particular dominant is teaching that what is his.  But under training, it would be foolish to assume that all dominants respond in the same way or have the same beliefs as each other.

Service is not the domain of submissives or slaves alone.
Neither is devotion.

Worship is not restricted to religion.  It is merely another way of showing devotion.  By some of the posters and the way they express their concerns - should it be correct to now assume that a dominant cannot and should not be devoted, nor show devotion to what is his/hers, in whatever way he/she should decide?

the.dark.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 7:01:54 AM)

quote:

But why serve that dom? What about that dom makes them want to serve him?

Why should the answer of this question be different in a BDSM context then it is for any two people entering a relationship? Yes, in my particular relationship the dynamic and power exchange is present and considered all the time, but that isn't the only thing we have in common. We are attracted to each other. We are compatible intellectually. We have the same energy levels. We have the same insatiable sexual appetite for each other. We enjoy doing things together, traveling, dining, partying, having FUN! We enjoy each other's company. We really like each other!

We just happen to have very compatible desires to give and receive sensations that fall under the big umbrella of WIITWD; because of that people wonder why. I suppose the same question can be posed to people deciding to become cloistered nuns or hermit monks; doing so living out their lives happily. Who can explain? What explanation would suffice?
quote:

Something inspired her submission. Or something forced her submission.
I don't agree that these as the only two choices. Whether nature or nurture, submission sometimes is the first response for some people. Many fight this, as some do with their inclination to dominate. Still more have a prejudice against those declaring themselves totally submissive. You hear the label 'doormat' assigned. You'll never here it from those involved in the dynamic. It's always an accusation to denigrate or disparage someone from those who have neither the understanding or experience to appreciate the submissive individual.

Submission requires no inspiration, no force; ideally it finds a partner who doesn't exploit it.



JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 7:40:54 AM)

Your right and it's true but people serving in a D/s relationship are giving so much more up that a vanilla partner isn't. There's way much more a submissive person does physically and emotionally that a vanilla partner doesn't. A submissive person gives up a great amount more of themselves and dedicates themselves to their dom on a level no other vanilla partner can touch. And so in order for a human being to surrender their entire self power and self being to the control of another person, they have to be inspired to give up all that, they don't just surrender to anyone just because they are submissive. Forgive me for not understanding but from where we sit, you seem to say they're born submissive and so they then have this inclinge to serve. But so just anyone and everyone? Really? Maybe i'm in the minority here but imho just because a person's nature is to please and serve, that doesn't mean they want to serve and please just any person. They have to first meet someone who inspires their submissive tendencies because not just anyone will cause ignite them to serve. They need to see and feel something special about a dom to bring out those submissive desires or else any dom will do. And that's not the case. I'm certain they don't enter a room full of doms and want to submit to each and everyone of them.



BitaTruble -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 8:14:29 AM)

~FR~

Opps! Sometimes my fingers work too fast. ::grins::

If Himself had told me up front that he was into foot worship (as in worship of *my* feet), I wouldn't have gotten started into this relationship in the first place and because of my past experience with Pete (my second dominant), that was a question I specifically asked 'before' Himself collared me. I view foot worship as a submissive action in the same way that I view groveling as a submissive action. There are a lot of other things I view as specifically dominant or specifically submissive that don't mean a rat's ass to anyone but Himself because he is the one with whom I share a relationship. That we are quite compatible on what we both view as dominant and submissive actions speaks, in part, to one of the reasons for our longevity together.

All that said, if it doesn't bother someone (or it turns them on!) and they don't have the issues with it that I have, I'm sure they will be just as happy and content with their foot-worshipping dominant as I am with my non-foot-worshipping dominant. So, it's not *my* thing.. it is not *his* thing but if it's someone else's thing, have at it and have a blast with it. :)

edited to actually post!



Mercnbeth -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 8:21:11 AM)

quote:

people serving in a D/s relationship are giving so much more up that a vanilla partner isn't. .
Wow - couldn't disagree more. However, what you bring up is the primary reason I would give for relationship failure, 'vanilla' or any flavor.

The disconnect is you are keeping individualism essential. Once a relationship is formed both sides of the flogger must put the relationship responsibilities first. It's not what is best for myself or the the other person. It's not what serves, or even who serves, whom. What serves the relationship is always the primary focus.

The mentality and commitment required to have such a mind-set comes from a lot of soul searching, planning, and, in my opinion, documentation. Some call it a 'contract' some call is 'rules' but documenting the responsibilities and referring to them, especially when the relationship is new, keeps the individuals focused on success.

quote:

A submissive person gives up a great amount more of themselves and dedicates themselves to their dom on a level no other vanilla partner can touch
Another reason why relationships fail. One party, doesn't matter if it's the dominant or submissive half, believes they are putting more into it than their partner. What result other than frustration and resentment can be expected with that mindset?

A submissive not appreciating, or getting, equal commitment and not appreciating the value of that commitment will not be in that relationship long. However once again, confronted with that attitude, I'd take that; "what's in it for me?" position as an indication the person is looking for a sensation facilitator - not a dominant.

quote:

you seem to say they're born submissive and so they then have this inclinge to serve. But so just anyone and everyone? Really?
Nope - deliberately went out of my way to say I wasn't representing that I didn't know how they came to the conclusion that they want to serve wasn't important. I'll leave the nature/nurture debate to those who enjoy debate with no resolution. But to your specific question - Yes, I know people who have an inclination to serve "just anyone and everyone" - Yes "Really".

quote:

They have to first meet someone who inspires their submissive tendencies because not just anyone will cause ignite them to serve. They need to see and feel something special about a dom to bring out those submissive desires or else any dom will do.
There's a place about 14 miles from here where some 'submit' for the inspiration of money. I don't deny the existence of conditional service. When the money or inspiration condition runs out; then what? I question why you deny the existence of unconditional service?

quote:

I'm certain they don't enter a room full of doms and want to submit to each and everyone of them.

Really? You're "certain"; based upon what?

Doubt all you want, I know and have seen first hand, that some people do have a such a desire. It's not even that rare. It's why I said before; Ideally a submissive finds a partner who doesn't exploit that desire outside the parameters of the relationship.

Some wouldn't have the ability to set conditions on their service let alone enforce those conditions on their dominant partner. They are submissive.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Foot worshiping Dom (10/14/2009 8:55:26 AM)

One of the greatest things about my Sir and my relationship is that each of us thinks that we are taking advantage of the other - we both think the other is getting the best deal relationship-wise. With attitudes like that how can we fail? [:)]

As for subs giving up great amounts of themselves and devoting themselves to their doms where vanillas don't - rubbish - my parents have been married for over 60 years - to each other - gone through two near fatal illnesses (one each) that required extended stays in hospital, raised 6 um's (which is an incredible stressor in and of itself) and still not just tolerate each other , but love each other. Devoting oneself to another is not just a lifestyle thing - actually, if you think devotion is a good indicator of how good a sub you are, then i have a close relation who is the best sub in the world - he is a Catholic priest, and has been for 26 years. 26 years of devotion to a higher power and no feedback. Now, THATS dedication!!!!

Dedication in a bdsm type relationship is no more or no less than vanilla relationships. or just relationships. You seem to have grasped the idea that bdsm is "better" than vanilla, and i think this ideas is terminally flawed, since people comprise both subsets. And as we know, there are the good, the bad and the ugly in everything.



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