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No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 7:43:31 AM

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"Oh, and it doesn't help that the word slave is used abused and misused so often by "no limit slaves" who say they won't do housework. But another topic for another thread!" --someone in the TPE thread

Ok, I'm biting. Has anyone every met this sort of person before? I don't solicit for slaves, so I probably wouldn't have much occasion to meet someone like this. And if so, have you questioned them as to how to they reconcile "no limits" with "no housework?" I'm curious about the mindset, assuming it exists.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 7:58:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Ok, I'm biting. Has anyone every met this sort of person before? I don't solicit for slaves, so I probably wouldn't have much occasion to meet someone like this. And if so, have you questioned them as to how to they reconcile "no limits" with "no housework?" I'm curious about the mindset, assuming it exists.

the improper application of our standards is why simplistic things become complicated. everyone has preferences. it is possible this person served in a capacity where domestic duties were not a requirement. or at the very least the one in control opted to hire someone to handle that. people forget there are varying ways to serve and servitude and limits are things dictated by the dominant.

some seek slaves for more sexual purposes and others prefer the domestic side instead. i don't see either as inappropriate. the only thing that matters is whether that person would suit your needs. it is a misconception to think that slavery removes these things. what it does is suggest that persons willingness to set them aside in deference to the dominant party. however, common sense also requires us to choose our pairings wisely.

a slave that prefers a situation that wasn't heavily slanted on domesticity would be ill advised to pair with a dominant desiring this unless she's willing to change for him. slavery isn't a one size fits all. compatibility is always a factor that must be taken into consideration. regardless of whether one guides or kneels.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 7:59:07 AM

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No - but I had a no-limits wife who said that.

Hey - maybe we should have a thread about the definitive use of the word 'wife'? EXACTLY what does that mean to you? Should a wife always be ready to provide sex? Can a wife have limits? How should you insure the well being of a wife if you want to terminate the 'contract'?

(in reply to CaringandReal)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 9:27:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

"Oh, and it doesn't help that the word slave is used abused and misused so often by "no limit slaves" who say they won't do housework. But another topic for another thread!" --someone in the TPE thread

Ok, I'm biting. Has anyone every met this sort of person before? I don't solicit for slaves, so I probably wouldn't have much occasion to meet someone like this. And if so, have you questioned them as to how to they reconcile "no limits" with "no housework?" I'm curious about the mindset, assuming it exists.

No, but meeting such a person isn't really required to understand what's going on. Just go and do a search over on the other side for female slaves, 18-25, seeking dominant male partners. Clearly there is no implication of ANYTHING... no lifestyle, no TPE, no 24x7. Older age brackets tend to bring more seriousness to it, but still it's all over the map. In my mind, "slave" is just the fashionable way to say "sub" or more likely "bottom" now.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to CaringandReal)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 9:31:47 AM

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Its a real life version of that old joke where a sexy woman sidles up to a man in a bar and says, "For $500 I will do anything."
"Anything?", he asks.
"ANYTHING", she answers.
"OK", he says, "Paint my house and reseal my driveway."

Yes, I really have seen profiles where the person goes on and on about how slavish they are and how no limits or free will they have, then somewhere else, in a journal entry or email states that they are not a maid and won't do domestic service.
As has been discussed many times on these boards, "No limits slavery" is a pretty wild term, and almost never indicates what people really mean.

And I suppose there are some people who would be happy with a no-housework slave living with them. For me, though, it would be annoying to the utmost to have a woman slumped on the couch watching soaps while Kim and I bust our humps working around the house.

(in reply to CaringandReal)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 9:57:39 AM

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I have to assume that in those cases the term limits is being used solely in reference to play activities meaning they are fine with such edge activities as needles, knifeplay etc. And that it is not in reference to a living arrangement.

Personally if I am not living with someone, and if the relationship was solely that of fuck buddies, not any emotional attachment, then I would not be willing to clean their house for them. I have my own. Even with an emotional attachment I expect them to keep their own place in shape. If he's not capable of it, then he should learn, not ask a someone to be his mother.

Plus there are more than a few ads I've read that say they need a new slave since their bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the old one left over six months before. You really only need to meet one person like that to put housecleaning on your do not list forevermore.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 10:04:29 AM

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Well, you can change their thinking on limits quite easily, start up the chainsaw and say, lick the floor clean or take it in the gash............

well, you know that changing her mind is often called 'a woman's perogative....' Why; in no time at all she is saying New Limit!!! New Limit!!!! and has completely forgotton the old one.

CHAINSAW AL

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 10:07:28 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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For me, the issue comes around the liberal application of the term "No limits". People can call themselves or one another anything they please. It may complicate conversations a bit, until everyone knows what everyone else is talking about, but I found the whole issue of 'slave' vs. 'submissive' so distracting and irrelevant that I stopped using -either- term, and started calling all of those who yield to the dynamic in our household "servants" -- which eliminated the whole issue of whether either is better than the other or more dedicated or -whatever-.

What I -don't- see the point of is designating a relationship as "no limits". Every relationship and individual has limits. If an individual's limits are outside of the scope of what I would require, that individual is, essentially, without limits FOR ME, whether or not xhe calls hirself "no limits". Now, if an individual has certain boundaries that _DO_ affect how I manage my household, then there is -no- possible definition by which that individual can be "no limits"... especially if xhe plans on enforcing hir preferences within my household. That is just common sense. One cannot be 'without limits' and then enforce a limit.

Now, that being said, I've had servants in my household who did -not- provide housework as part of what we expected of them. It was -my- choice to bring them in, knowing that they weren't going to be useful for housework, and their role in the house was established in the same way that it is for -any- servant in our household. However, if they came into my house with the understanding that I was looking for someone who could handle domestic duties and then they informed me that they didn't -do- that kind of thing... well, suffice to say that the trial period would be shortened consummate with that realization.

If a person is going to call hirself NO LIMITS, then xhe had better be willing and able to accept -anything- that comes down the pike. If xhe can't do that, then xhe needs to be honest and not tack on the NO LIMITS designator, as it is dishonest and misleading. I don't care how much xhe feels -romantically attracted- to the IDEA of NO LIMITS... xhe has limits and needs to accept those honestly, and anyone xhe gets involved with needs to be able to both know about them and accept them as well.

Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 10:48:02 AM

crouchingtigress

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The word slave is entirly defined by the person using the word.

But just as an aside, if you are talking about a live in situation and the slave inquestion has no desire to do housework, and you have that desire, then you are very silly to force them.

Sure theyll do it for a bit, but the sexiness wears off fast and then you have a disgruntled and sad slave, which is not fun long term, you will have a lot of conversations that begin with "but this is what you signed up for"....

This applies to poly as well.

So my sugestion is choose carefully, and you will make mistakes at first until to fine tune your radar to what makes a good slave for you. But just know there are people that get incredible amounts of pleasure from service stuff, they do exist, I have one.

Look for those, and dont try to force any one in to anything long term that is not what they get pleasure from unless you yourself are happy being unhappy..

_____________________________

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(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 10:48:34 AM

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I agree...everyone has limits whether they like to admit it or not.

I have always felt that if someone puts "no limits" on their profile that they are referring to sexual "no limits". That is the sometimes incorrect assumption that I have made. Or maybe they want to make themselves seem more appealing by putting "no limits". I am not sure why they do it. I am not a no limits kind of gal. I have said to Chip that I would do anything that He asked of me and I very much mean it. I say that to Him trusting that He is not going to ask me to do drugs, kill someone or something else illegal that He knows I won't do. We know each other extremely well. I know what He like and He knows what I like.

In my opinion they should say "no sexual limits" just so everyone is clear on things.

kim

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 11:23:13 AM

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In my experience, 'slave' is one who wants me to make them do everything they want to do, and fulfill all their fantasies. I know there are those who take role much more seriously, but I have not found one like that for myself.

(in reply to yellowroses)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 1:33:33 PM

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Yeah, everybody has limits. I routinely feel that this is the least productive discussion I ever see in forums or in person. Having limits is perfectly normal and whatever limits a person are right for that person but I tire quickly of folks who have to cite murder, dismemberment or bestiality to prove a point. I think this whole discussion started one day long ago when one person decided they would not participate in some fairly benign bsdm activity and then got their panties in a wad because the submissive next door gladly agreed to said activity.

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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

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RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:02:35 PM

Level

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Back before Mr Lincoln did his thing, there were slaves, and if the master or mistress said "do housework", it was done. Period.

Now, folks like to use the word, for status, to excite themselves or their partner... and sure, anyone can call themselves what they want, it doesn't make it accurate. I can call my Chevy a Rolls Royce all I want to, but that motherfucker won't sell that way.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:09:21 PM

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I love the term "no limits" - it gives me an opportunity to discuss my amputation fetish. ;)

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RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:24:09 PM

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If I were to say something like that in my profile, first of all I would not be stating it in such absolute terms. I am not opposed to doing housework. I like a clean, tidy house and take a lot of pride in the hard work that gets it to be or remain in that condition. I like redoing rooms and decorating. I love to cook and many other domestic tasks. I would love to spend many satisfied hours just nesting away to have my loved ones comfy and cared for in every possible way.

That being said, I have never been able to do the above. I have had physical limitations my entire life that are only on the increase. If I mentioned anything at all about this in my profile, it would be in way of fair warning that if this is what the person wants or needs to be fully satisfied with his/her partner, then I am not the one to choose. I will do everything I am able and even more. At the end of the day, however, it will take everybody to keep the domestic side running smoothly. I wish it were otherwise, but it just isn't so. I guess that's a difference of won't versus can't, but the problem comes in when someone has an expectation despite my warning that I can never meet. Then there has to be some way of me putting on the brakes and stating that this go no further for my own well being. People who understand and care enough will back off and help where they can. I have run across the odd idiot that couldn't comprehend. In those cases, I have flat out refused to be pushed any further on such an issue. I will usually let them push me as far as they want exactly once. The reason being that I want them to see what the consequences are. After that, it is clear to me that my health and safety does not matter to the person if they proceed to try it again. If that person is not looking out for my best interest, then I have no choice but to do it myself.

My partner, however, knows very well how far he can push and when I just have nothing left to give him. He takes care to not place me in those situations that risk my health or that of the relationship by forcing us into an adversarial position. He is not afraid of me and I am not one for refusing him anything. He chooses to do that which will honor the value he places in his property. I appreciate that very much.

lovingpet

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RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:28:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

the improper application of our standards is why simplistic things become complicated. everyone has preferences. it is possible this person served in a capacity where domestic duties were not a requirement. or at the very least the one in control opted to hire someone to handle that. people forget there are varying ways to serve and servitude and limits are things dictated by the dominant.

But what do you think about somebody who claims they have absolutely no limits, but who refuses to do housework? Sure maybe she or he doesn't have to do it because they bring the maids in once a week, but if someone says that they absolutely won't do housework and then at another time says they have no limits, I say one of those statements is a lie. The thing is, I've never met anybody like that, so I was curious as whether anyone had.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to porcelaine)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:31:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

No, but meeting such a person isn't really required to understand what's going on. Just go and do a search over on the other side for female slaves, 18-25, seeking dominant male partners. Clearly there is no implication of ANYTHING... no lifestyle, no TPE, no 24x7. Older age brackets tend to bring more seriousness to it, but still it's all over the map. In my mind, "slave" is just the fashionable way to say "sub" or more likely "bottom" now.

Interesting. I'll try that search and see what happens. For obvious reasons, it's not a demographic I've actually searched on much. :D If it turns up anything interesting, I'll post it here.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:33:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

Its a real life version of that old joke where a sexy woman sidles up to a man in a bar and says, "For $500 I will do anything."
"Anything?", he asks.
"ANYTHING", she answers.
"OK", he says, "Paint my house and reseal my driveway."

Snort!

That joke brings up an interesting aspect about limits. You can claim to have no limits, but if you cannot do a thing or don't know how to do a thing, then isn't that a limit?

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:38:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Plus there are more than a few ads I've read that say they need a new slave since their bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the old one left over six months before. You really only need to meet one person like that to put housecleaning on your do not list forevermore.

ROFL! Ok, the idea of a six-month dirty bachelor bathroom made me pause. I remember seeing a number of those in college...and really wishing I hadn't. Usually in college, you see them at the worst times, too, like when you've drank too much and need to go puke...at least it makes you throw up faster! But hmm... if he was everything I needed and wanted in a man, given that that is so hard to find, I would be sorely tempted. I would probably ask permission to wear a clothespin on my nose, however, as i did the dirty deed.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: No Limits Slaves Who Say They Won't Do Housework - 10/3/2009 4:39:26 PM

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If I read a profile like that then I would simply know that our ideas do not mesh and neither would we............NEXT!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CaringandReal)

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