Hard Limits (Full Version)

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Acer49 -> Hard Limits (10/3/2009 10:08:18 AM)

Do Dominants have hard limits and if so, have they ever come up?



mnottertail -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 10:10:36 AM)

yes. constantly.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 10:20:13 AM)

Yep. Some of them are on my profile, down at the bottom. I chose them when I registered here, along with my "likes", "loves", and "lives for", "curious about", etc.

I have dozen listed.


(Edited for punctuation.)



leadership527 -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 10:30:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
Do Dominants have hard limits and if so, have they ever come up?
My "hard limits" have not come up any more than Carol's. It's the same old "compatibility" thing. So she wouldn't snip off her thumb with a tin snips at my command, and I wouldn't give the command, even if she wanted me to. I'm not aware of any "hard limits" that either of us have outside the realm of horror movies though.

Seriously, if the definition of "hard limit" is "something a person wouldn't do for any reason whatsoever", then don't you think we all have them? I'd call that a human thing, not a dom or sub thing. If, on the other hand, we're restricting our scope to thing which would reasonably be contained in the context of a interpersonal relationship (and ignoring the problem with the word "reasonably"), then no... neither Carol nor I have them that we're aware of.



Jeptha -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 11:02:34 AM)

Sure. For example, temper tantrums used to be a hard limit for me (though I'm trying to be more tolerant about those things these days....still, though...)

Is that what you meant by 'hard limit'?

Maybe it would more accurately be what people call a "deal breaker"...




OsideGirl -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 11:37:19 AM)

Master says Jason Mraz is a hard limit with Jack Johnson as a close second.



DarkSteven -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 12:35:30 PM)

Of course.  And as long as I'm the Dom, they ain't gonna happen.



TopRamen -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 1:01:51 PM)

All the damn time. There are many things I won't do or participate in. Admittedly, probably more than many would think, and less than I would think. Some things are either situational or dependent upon the partner or people involved, but some things are 100% fixed. As with all people, Top or Bottom, each moment presents its own set of decissions.

"In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse..."



DomImus -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 1:44:53 PM)

I guess everyone has limits when it comes right down to it but if a dominant has to play the limit card I might begin to wonder who is dominating whom. If I have something I don't want to do I don't pursue it. I suppose in the meet and greet phase of a relationship a submissive who really gets off on lots of things that don't interest me might pass on a relationship with me but I have always considered limits to be a bottom or submissive oriented thing. Probably just a case of semantics.



DesFIP -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 2:22:15 PM)

He didn't play the limit card but the question did come up about what if I wanted to try something that he is not competent to do. I said I thought it was okay to ask someone at a club or demo to try it out on me, but he vetoed that. To him that's sharing and it's a no go. If I develop a burning desire to experience a bull whip then when he has time he would buy one and practice until he felt it was safe to use on me.

Slight aside:
Actually I've always wanted to know how to use one, ever since reading about Will Rogers as an obnoxious younger brother hiding around the side of the house and when his sister's date walked up, he removed the cigarette from the suitor's mouth. I can see being that bratty, just for fun.



antipode -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 3:17:04 PM)

quote:

Do Dominants have hard limits and if so, have they ever come up?


Sure. Sure.



TopRamen -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 3:19:04 PM)

Well, this is a *slightly* different. Matters of competence and safety are a bit different than a hard-limit due to inclination/predilection/tastes/proclivity. If anything, I respect the way he handled it. If it's "not in his bag" but is something you want to explore together, then him offering to learn the technique is the right response if he looks at you working with someone else as "sharing". If he were to refuse outright without any give, I'd have a bit more problem with his unilateral refusal, but that's just me...



BKSir -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 3:29:52 PM)

Definitely.  Believe it or not, us D-types are humans too. ;)

I have a lot of hard limits.  Things I don't feel comfortable with, things I think are disgusting, and things I just plain won't deal with.  That's like asking chefs if they like every food.  Of course not.  I may be a chef, but frankly, I hate onions, coleslaw, bologna, holandaise sauce (although I hear I make a damned good one), mayo, a few other things.

Everyone has likes and dislikes, wants and DO NOT WANTs, preferences and ideas, for many different things and many different reasons. 



VeeTee -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 6:47:49 PM)

OsideGirl, sooooooo funny!



IronBear -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 7:40:57 PM)

Hell YES! I lay them out during initial discussions so they are dealt with early and don't come up later. 



Musicmystery -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 8:23:12 PM)

quote:

Do Dominants have hard limits and if so, have they ever come up?


Well, if I'm super aroused, it can get big and purple and rock hard, and a few girls can do it, but that's the limit--after that, it's as hard as it's gonna get.




IronBear -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 9:52:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

Do Dominants have hard limits and if so, have they ever come up?


Well, if I'm super aroused, it can get big and purple and rock hard, and a few girls can do it, but that's the limit--after that, it's as hard as it's gonna get.




Soo if a girl mischievously hides the Condies Crystals you can't get hard and purple, just hard?

[8|][8|][:-][:-][;)][:D][:D][:D]



estah -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 9:54:58 PM)

*Laughs*

Master Ironbear and Master Musicmystery, thank you for the laugh.

*Hobbling of on crutches to make a tea. While having an eye on that apple.*





OrionTheWolf -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 9:54:58 PM)

Yeah they come up, but I call it a code.



Kana -> RE: Hard Limits (10/3/2009 11:06:50 PM)

Hell yeah I have limits.
everyone does.
Next time you run into a "no limits slave" start talking to them about your (hopefully imaginary) amputation fetish.
See how long the no limits stance lasts



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