Lockit
Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I do believe that part of the problem that BP has had was that I outted someone publically, which I did not do. I had a problem with someone and looked into his criminal history AFTER he showed signs of stalking me. And ACTUALLY... he outted himself by following me to the boards and talking about ME and lying to the others in his presenttion of himself. So I really don't think it was out of line to look into him in a legal manner. I think it was smart. It did give me the means to stop him from bothering me.
In the situation I started this thread on... I believe I was also working on personal accountablity to see what other's thought about how I was veiwing something and to see if I might be making too much of something. I don't see that as a bad thing, but a good thing because personal accountablity and being sound in action and emotion is important to me. Nothing was held back on why I did the reverse phone call as he was told all and had no problem with it. In fact, he was glad I did because he understands the position that a person could be in if they didn't make sure, feel safe and yes I gave him the opportunity to explain things to me and I didn't just attack or walk away. He will also be brought to this thread. You don't know his name either. lol
I may be more cautious at times than other times, because of a two year stalker online and then a convicted... more than once and with more than one woman, with a man doing things that proved I was the next woman... but as long as I am in balance and not going to an extreme or over use of protective measures because of fear, I think I am doing just fine and as long as I am legally doing so and not causing real harm and am not naming names when I do talk about it... and they don't out themselves... what is the harm.
If I am accused of being paranoid... lol... I am accusing someone here of being pretty anal about the accusations and harassment over what he feels is wrong, yet is legal and no harm done. And if I at some later date get sued or something... I will admit that maybe somewhere I was wrong... but until then... I protect myself, family, household and to hell with those with something to hide!
I do know of preditor cases that were trumped up... I do know of mistakes... but in this situation I did not and would not take one account and base something dreadful on one account without further research, explaination etc. I did research in the past as part of my employment and such, but on a personal basis have done some a couple of times. I am comfortable that I haven't taken advantage of, hurt anyone or been out of line or paranoid.
If my awareness and self preservation were more based on fear and I did it with everyone... I would then say I had a serious problem. I do not. I can live with myself. lol I do believe that we have to take all information whatever it is, even someone telling us something, as a guide, not always a truth and there are times when investigative measures are a good thing and to make someone feel guilty or shamed or afraid to be a bit intrusive as some think it is, could be a problem. It is like telling someone, like many years ago... we can't arrest him until he actually does something harmful to you... he can harass you and we can't prove he has done anything wrong. If someone feels they need to protect themself, they have a right to do so and no one should bring shame-on-you into it. Women have been mistreated in many ways and it took actual fighting to get new stalking laws and protections on paper and it was a long battle for some of us working toward that end.
Living as a victim or easy prey when one can be empowered to protect themselves, is really stupid. Which is more important? Protecting the rights of invasion of privacy or protecting the measures one must sometimes take to protect themselves from someone exitibiting criminal behavoir? Which is more important? Someone being taken advantage of by a married person or knowing for sure there isn't a hidden spouse somewhere? Invasion of someone's rights or life is more than checking to see if that person is who and what they claim to be. Had I named names and said he did this and that and then went around telling all sorts of people that were not involved at all, who the person was and what I thought of him... that would have been invasive.
And if emotional harm was felt by the victimizer of many women... with no names named... who was convicted numerous times... then I say let him be upset... I really don't care if he is upset. There is already a problem and it didn't start with me!
Now excuse me while I go get ready to meet the big bad guy who was startled by my question and had the amazing stance of understanding why I would do what I did and has proven himself to be quite the man by explaining all to me and who took the time to pass my test of sincerity with banners flying high!
< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/13/2009 11:16:53 AM >
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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!
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