emotional sadism (love related)

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emotional sadism (love related) - 10/11/2009 8:36:15 AM

windycitysub78

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First of all, I must make a disclaimer - what I am about to talk about deals only with a healthy exchange reserved only for special playtime, and something which is accompanied with a lot of aftercare when all is said and done.

I am simply fascinated with the emotional and psychological side of things. I often wondered if there are Dommes/Doms out there that like to use love against a slave. It is a recurring fantasy for me, to be kneeling there, saying "I love You", only to have Her spit on my face and laugh - saying a real person (a Domiant person) would never care for a slave like me. Another recurring fantasy for me is this: Buying a gift for my Mistress, something special - something I went out of my way to buy - only to have her accept it, and despite liking is so much, having Her throw it away in front of me.

In a community which seems to focus more on the physical rather than psychological aspects, I often wondered if other people (both Dommes and subs alike) share this rather edgy interest.

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 9:45:36 AM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

First of all, I must make a disclaimer - what I am about to talk about deals only with a healthy exchange reserved only for special playtime, and something which is accompanied with a lot of aftercare when all is said and done.

I think what you describe would definitely require a lot of aftercare. Whether or not its generally "heathy" is debatable. It might be "healthy" for you in particular, but perhaps more in a cathartic sense as something you have a need to work through that your Domme can assist you with. Many things in our lifestyle run counter to the norm of society, and as such are taken in a positive manner whereas in the norm, they'd be taken as an offense. A common example would be a Domme calling you her boy or her slut; something most would take as a compliment, bringing a smile to their face as opposed to shame.

quote:

I am simply fascinated with the emotional and psychological side of things. I often wondered if there are Dommes/Doms out there that like to use love against a slave. It is a recurring fantasy for me, to be kneeling there, saying "I love You", only to have Her spit on my face and laugh - saying a real person (a Domiant person) would never care for a slave like me. Another recurring fantasy for me is this: Buying a gift for my Mistress, something special - something I went out of my way to buy - only to have her accept it, and despite liking is so much, having Her throw it away in front of me.

In a community which seems to focus more on the physical rather than psychological aspects, I often wondered if other people (both Dommes and subs alike) share this rather edgy interest.

Without knowing more, I strongly suspect your need for this kind of rejection from someone you proclaim to love is to repeat something from the past that you may need to reconcile in your own mind. It could very well be that your gifts in the past to a loved one, although not "thrown away" in front of you or dismissed as being unworthy, were dismissed in some less overt manner and you may be looking to see that enacted in front of you in a more obvious manner to help you release your feelings about those incidents. I'm not a psychologist or trained in this arena, but what you describe sounds to me as though its strongly rooted in the past and could be dangerous territory to explore with someone not trained to deal with the emotions that could be released by roleplaying them. At a minimum, I'd recommend discussing it with a professional first.

- pixel

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 3:12:41 PM

kccuckoldmist

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I am quite sadistic but even for me I always draw a line where my slave would question my love or devotion to them. In fact to me this is the critical base that allows all the other emotional sadism I absolutely adore and use on major levels to be done safely.

I think though you will find that people that do things more scene independent more open to what you describe. In other words to use love to be emotionally cruel in a scene that has a stated beginning and end where it is purely play. For those that play with emotional sadism more of an ongoing thing in the relationship I would think would be much more reluctant.

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 3:13:45 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Yes, I enjoy emotional/psychological edgeplay although the types of scenes you describe are not ones that would appeal to me. I'm more interested in scenes that push the sub's soft (and, with special people, hard) limits by playing on xir love. "How much do you love me? Enough to do X? To let me do Y?" That being said, I'm sure there are dominants who would enjoy the type of scenario you describe. Chances are, if you've thought of it, so has someone else.

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 3:19:26 PM

Politesub53

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I think emotions can be used against a submissive in a play scenario, at least in my case. I dont think I could handle my emotions being abused real time though. As fantasy I can see the attraction.

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 4:03:17 PM

LadyJulieAnn

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My sub enjoys humiliation, so our scenes can involve those sorts of verbal exchanges. Those sorts of things occur in scenes only, not in our everyday life together, because we have a loving relationship.

< Message edited by LadyJulieAnn -- 10/12/2009 4:04:56 PM >

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RE: emotional sadism (love related) - 10/12/2009 6:23:24 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

I am simply fascinated with the emotional and psychological side of things. I often wondered if there are Dommes/Doms out there that like to use love against a slave.

thinking of myself in your example, i can contemplate two scenarios where this would work. if the M-type was combating resistance on my side through humiliation and interrogation to force me to reveal what i may be holding onto internally. or if He perverted the concept of love, denying me the choice to willingly reach that point on my own by issuing a directive and stating, "x will occur."

the last i can conjure is more explosive and wouldn't fall alongside the other examples, but would speak of an intentional breaking that would be very intense over a period of time. the consistency of such and methods employed are what make it more revolutionary. in this case the person has a mentality that corrupts consent at the onset and declares me as His. all actions from that point forward are to bring this into being. love would be one of the things He targets to bring me to Him.

i consider this a wearing down of sorts and have only been through it once. but in that situation i did want the person, i was merely fighting myself. i suppose a similar tactic could be undertaken if the person had enough of a hold on me to make it work. that is key. it isn't something everyone could do. a connection must exist and He has to be aware of His position at all times. if He wavers it falters.

truthfully speaking i can find some enjoyment in all three. capturing my mind is the hardest thing to do. i don't relinquish it easily. the last example isn't something i'd normally engage in. it can be quite the power struggle which isn't typically what one expects in an exchange, particularly in the beginning.

however, if the M-type was certain of our compatibility and believed i was holding up the process in some way, i suppose i could wrap my head around His decision to push despite my protestations. in a weird way i'm almost intrigued by His gall in doing so. there's also the flip side of this and that's the aftermath. i would be very surrendered to Him and my willingness to engage in resistant or reactant behavior would be gone. i would be His in every sense of the word.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 10/12/2009 6:26:09 PM >

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