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Name Dropping - 8/30/2004 11:24:42 AM

Questing4Aldonza

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Joined: 7/14/2004
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I have kind of a strange question, inspired I guess by that whole “Fabio” twist at the end of Average Joe 2.

If a sub had previously been trained by / served under a Mistress who was well known, even kind of a celebrity within the BDSM community, should he tout that fact, or keep it close to the vest?

Would you be intrigued? Impressed? Or would you think he was being boastful, or tacky for “kissing and telling” as it were?

edited to add: Or would you particularly give a rat's behind one way or the other?

< Message edited by Questing4Aldonza -- 8/30/2004 11:32:00 AM >

RE: Name Dropping - 8/30/2004 11:40:36 AM

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There was another thread on this but i can't seem to find it, anyone remember it? I'll post it if i do find it.

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(in reply to Questing4Aldonza)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/30/2004 12:03:04 PM

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quote:

There was another thread on this but i can't seem to find it, anyone remember it? I'll post it if i do find it.

Proud,
I think most thread's are about this. Just usually in the reverse. Slander. So you could pretty much pick any of them.

Myself, I don't have an issue with name dropping. What I do have issue with is people choosing names that mimick your own online name. Then trying to parade around the internet as you.
This has happened to me WAY TOO MANY TIMES. Actually someone here from the boards just e-mailed me off board today telling me there is a similar name to mine on bondage.
Typical, I usually pick up a loony or two a year.
One a few years ago even had the gall to approach me and told me I stole her name. Even though I had the name for well over ten years on the same service. I stole her name the year prior.
My name gets around because of the group I run. For no other reason at least in my mind. People like me or dislike me. No biggy. No problem dropping my name but please don't try to steal it.

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/30/2004 6:20:00 PM

MistressZanthia

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From: Seattle, Washington, USA
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Gloria, I think you misunderstood the question though what you did post would make an interesting topic in and of itself.

In response to the OP, I've had one sub name drop to me in the past. The rest have been gentlemen who don't "kiss and tell". And it really annoyed me at the time. That and it made me want to call her and see what kind of a brat he was, before bothering with him. But he was a client, not a personal boy of mine so it didn't really matter who he'd seen before or served.

On the other hand however, I wouldn't even consider a submissive for a personal relationship for name dropping in the first place. It's rude and crude and if I wanted his BDSM references, I'd have asked him for them. It's that simple. So no, it wouldn't garner favor here, it'd make me toss his app to the reject pile... that doesn't impress me at all.

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RE: Name Dropping - 8/30/2004 6:48:53 PM

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quote]Gloria, I think you misunderstood the question though what you did post would make an interesting topic in and of itself[/quote]
I totally understood the question. If you notice in my first line I answered it. I have no problem with people dropping my name when they think it will benefit them.

I merely also added a big issue for me.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 12:28:18 PM

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From: southeast Mississippi
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This probably won't enlighten you at all, however, I have been asked by Doms to list previous experience with other Doms. Mere curiousity? A difference in the sexes? A way to get to know me and judge my level of honesty? I've also been asked to list previous sexual history with emphasis on the non-consensual variety. Again, curious or getting to know me?

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dixiedumpling

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(in reply to Questing4Aldonza)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 12:35:54 PM

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From: Burlington, Ontario
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The whole rat's behind thing. I have played a sub who quietly informed me he plays regularly with an exremely well known, skilled and respected Domme. My initial reaction was an internal "oh shit!", but I went ahead & played him, my way, afterward he told me I had taken him places in sub space the other Domme never had. I realized I am not better than her, but possibly the mix of personalities and play had more to do with the success of the scene.

My problem right now is I seem to have "newbies apply here" tattooed on my forehead. *lol*

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(in reply to Questing4Aldonza)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 12:37:43 PM

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quote:

This probably won't enlighten you at all, however, I have been asked by Doms to list previous experience with other Doms. Mere curiousity? A difference in the sexes? A way to get to know me and judge my level of honesty? I've also been asked to list previous sexual history with emphasis on the non-consensual variety. Again, curious or getting to know me?

Maybe it's their whole way of checking you out. I know when I was searching I asked Doms for the same thing. References were invaluable to me.
Plus. we were all taught to ask that when Aids first became a household word.

That is the only reason why somebody would ask that..that comes to my mind.

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 12:57:57 PM

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I think kissing and telling is tacky, reeks of insecurity, and annoys me plenty...
So, it's a No-No to me; I think what you did and with whom you did it, unless asked about specific experiences/extent thereof should be kept as your own info, nothing more or less.
my 2cents.
Domme in RI

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 7:32:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dixiedumpling

This probably won't enlighten you at all, however, I have been asked by Doms to list previous experience with other Doms. Mere curiousity? A difference in the sexes? A way to get to know me and judge my level of honesty? I've also been asked to list previous sexual history with emphasis on the non-consensual variety. Again, curious or getting to know me?

Hi Dixiedumpling, a lot of male doms i have spoken to all want to know what it is i have done how big how many etc. I dont know but i find this sort of offensive. And one time even though something caused me great distress (in doing it with a former partner and the item itself) the current one said to me well you did it for him but wont do it for me. So to me thats a red flag of sorts in dealing with people. If they ask about my experience with certains types of play such as bondage thats one thing.

my 2 cents as well for whats its worth. Roe

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RE: Name Dropping - 8/31/2004 9:51:03 PM

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From: Houston, Texas
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That depend's on the Mistress, if she be a pro, you are actually doing her great word of mouth...and if she isn't she may need discretion due to family or work, just as a slave might.

Also, some dominants ask for referrals before accepting a new slave, and it is acceptable protocol to give a list of previous Masters/Mistresses in such case.

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(in reply to Questing4Aldonza)

RE: Name Dropping - 9/2/2004 10:13:36 PM

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On the positive side I have no issue with those that boast a positive contact.
I expect a prospect to list if any those that they have served in the past.
Those they have been contracted with and kolared to and a referance or
malumation papers and not only those Dominants names but the names of
the Groups or munchies they belong to as well so I can know what type of
place and area they have contact with.

On the negitive side I have issue with those that boast a negitive contact.
Tattle tales get their tongues cut off
If you cannot say anything nice say nothing at all.

(in reply to MsGenevieve)

RE: Name Dropping - 9/3/2004 12:08:33 AM

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rats ass here.. I am of the mind set that experience is a wonderful thing.. but my experience is simply mine... love me hate me .. I am who I am.. If you have been bound by Midori.. I would be more interested in a discussion about techique than impressed with your resume.. I have in the past when considering a submissive for a period of service asked for lifestyle references but that isnt about name dropping simply making sure you are who you are and you know what you know..

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 9/3/2004 12:09:29 AM >

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RE: Name Dropping - 9/4/2004 5:04:30 PM

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ugh!!!! I look at it like this...he was with someone before me thats fine and great.....but when he is with me I dont wanna live in his past.....I hate when a sub says" my old mistress does this" or "that" ...my response is always the same ...."then go back to her"

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RE: Name Dropping - 9/4/2004 6:59:24 PM

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IF I were looking for a serious relationship with a new submissive, I would ask for references. That being said, you submissives should always clear it with your previous owner before giving her name.

(in reply to MissFem)

RE: Name Dropping - 9/5/2004 3:42:04 PM

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Agrees with MissFem, who you were with in the past is just that, the past. I dont want to hear "she did this and that" or "Well so and so never made me do THAT before". Getting revenge by dropping her name would not interest me in the least ...or even references from this person would not convince me of how well you have been trained/or served. I want to see for myself lol.

(in reply to PranksterBitch)

RE: Name Dropping - 9/5/2004 5:12:57 PM

perverseangelic

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From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PranksterBitch

IF I were looking for a serious relationship with a new submissive, I would ask for references. That being said, you submissives should always clear it with your previous owner before giving her name.

I honestly don't agree with this. I think it's part of being open and honest with ones owner that one tells ones background. My partner is friends with my previous partners, but if this wasn't so, he'd have expected me to tell him about them, and what I was expected to do with/for them, simply to have a frame of reference for me. Similarly, I'd want to know who his partners were, just to know.

I think that in a serious relationship, both parties should tell the other about past experiences, including names, if applicable. I don't believe that a submissive person's status as submissive exempts them from that, but nor do I believe that they have an obligation to ask a past partner before telling his/her name to a present partner.

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RE: Name Dropping - 9/5/2004 5:28:35 PM

Questing4Aldonza

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I wanted to say thanks to everybody who contributed their opinions! It’s been interesting to see the different ways my question has been interpreted.

I certainly never meant that anybody would be badmouthing anyone else, or that the sub in question would continuously harp on every detail of his former relationship (even I know those things are tacky!). It was more along the lines of what Sylverdawn wrote, where the sub in question would put “I was tied up by Midori” or something like that in his profile or an introductory email as a way of garnering interest in himself.

Personally, I guess I believe that a man should try to win a potential partner’s attention based on his own merits, rather than coasting off of someone else’s reputation. But on the other hand, if you totally suck at selling yourself, I can see where trying a shortcut like that would hold a certain seductive appeal.

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RE: Name Dropping - 9/5/2004 7:13:40 PM

Laura

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From: Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Myself, I don't have an issue with name dropping. What I do have issue with is people choosing names that mimick your own online name. Then trying to parade around the internet as you.
This has happened to me WAY TOO MANY TIMES. Actually someone here from the boards just e-mailed me off board today telling me there is a similar name to mine on bondage.

Gloria, sub4hire is not that unique. I used to use the nick SheDragon and found there was at least one other person using it and leaving behind a trail of bad behaviour. I had people telling me what a bitch I was the last time I was there (IRC or discussion boards, etc.) Though I had never done anything bitchy if I had ever been there at all. You can't control the nick you use. Especially in the case of sub4hire and it's spinoffs. They are all very alike. If not for your picture I wouldn't remember you by your nick here at all.

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RE: Name Dropping - 9/5/2004 7:16:34 PM

Laura

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Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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As a new Domme and a non-professional I'd be at bit intimidated and not likely make contact with a "high profile" type sub or one who was flashing around big names. I'd prefer someone without that kind of baggage or expectations.

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(in reply to Questing4Aldonza)

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