RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right!

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:13:54 PM

Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

the one that the OP refers to specifically STATES NO OUTSIDE CONTACT... that means a person is isolated... completely... no family... no job... no friends... no one to turn to... ABUSE in the 1st degree imho.

If someone responds to this ad, they WANT this type of living arrangement. It is agreeable to all concerned. How can that be abuse? It is consentual.

Sensible pertinent advice from the vanilla world ["Dear Abby"]: "Nobody can take advantage of you without your consent." However much a sub/slave might [think they] want to surrender in a power exchange, in the end that person is still the only one who can look out for his/her own wellbeing.
I see plenty of profiles here that have my own personal alarm bells ringing. I just move on to the next one. I'm not that desperate to 'play.' There are 6 billion stories on the naked planet. I don't have the time or energy to get involved in more than a couple beyond my own.....

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:15:36 PM

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quote:

shit, there are some posts i wish i'd never read (i was called 'pig')... it is nothing but abuse with a BDSM cover.

You are now saying that it was the isolation that caused you to believe that it was abuse, yet in your comment here, it was the word "Pig" that you found abusive. I was replying originally to this post. I am now responding to your comments that isolation is abusive. I still say, and I will agree to disagree, that if BOTH PARTIES are in AGREEMENT to ANY of their life choices, then it is NOT ABUSE, in my opinion. And I will leave it at that. To each their own.

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:18:40 PM

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**not directed at anyone here**

i am not fond of calling someone or being called my someone "PIG"

this boy don't **oink** for nobody...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:23:21 PM

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quote:

If someone responds to this ad, they WANT this type of living arrangement. It is agreeable to all concerned. How can that be abuse? It is consentual

I agree about someone wanting this kinda lifestyle,
but I believe their is more to this then meets the eye...

quote:

"Yes I said that!"

Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:24:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

**not directed at anyone here**

i am not fond of calling someone or being called my someone "PIG"

this boy don't **oink** for nobody...LOL

I dont especially like that word either. I can think of much more nastier names to call you if you would like? lol Glad to see you are in better spirits Michael. Hugs.

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:27:27 PM

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quote:

I agree about someone wanting this kinda lifestyle,
but I believe their is more to this then meets the eye...

lol so what if there is? One can only hope that whoever responds to his ad will have a brain cell upstairs and know what they are doing. People can say whatever they want to about this "lifestyle", but they can never say it isnt interesting <s>

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:30:59 PM

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it's mood-swing Sunday, MsKaren...(of course, almost every day is mood-swing day for me)

names don't really bother me so much...they can be ignored or overlooked...it's true domination i am lacking in, and it doesn't look like that will ever become reality. all i have now are my hopes and dreams.

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Are we having fun, yet?

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/5/2006 11:40:47 PM

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Frankly, this is getting tiresome. We understand that you think calling someone "pig" is abuse. Why do you have to keep repeating that opinion? If you think it's still abuse even if it's consensual, you're in the minority here--and at any rate you're not saying anything more than "I think it's abuse, therefore it's abuse." By the same kind of logic, the whole vanilla world can say that they think what we do is sick, therefore it's sick. I thought the whole purpose of having an alternative sexuality was to be able to understand other people's needs and desires--not to reject them just because they don't coincide with your own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 3/5/2006 11:42:13 PM >

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 12:03:34 AM

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quote:

On a seperate note I appreciate the welcome from the two members and I look forward to learning here and provoking some insight from my personal views...or at least pissing some off.
C

You're welcome! <s> You may not have any problem pissing people off here, it seems to be fairly simple to do lol In any case I look forward to your future comments.

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 2:20:03 AM

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angelic sweetheart. From the point of view of many vanillas, someone spanking another is abuse wether it is consentual or not. Heck even the very nature of D/s relationships would have most Femanists foaming at the mouth screaming "Abuse". Almost anything you can think of outside of the traditional "Core Xian value" steriotype someone somewhere will try and stick the lable of abuse on it.

If an adult is going out looking for something, finds it and consents to it.... who are we to stick a lable on it apart from one saying "Not for me thanks"

I looked at what was in the OP and similarly thought "Nutter", but then I've met people who have told me in no uncertain terms that what they are looking for would quite easily match that description and more besides. Do I quite understand it? Nope but then I don't have to, their kink just ain't my kink. They ain't what I am looking for and visa-virsa.

But I'm not going to start waving the 'abuse' card around simply because I can't get my head round their mind-set!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 4:58:44 AM

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Unfortnately, I've seen some slave training sites that promote treating a slave like this. You dehumanize them and pretty much turn them into mindless robots. Do not allow them any outside contact not even with their family, do not allow them to have access to money, do not allow them to watch TV, listen to the radio, use a computer or even read, they never have any spare time or alone time they are under constant survillence and when the Master isnt home they are locked in a room or chained. They want them totally cut off from the world so that they will be more subservient. These people are told you CANNOT leave if you do the *Masters Society* I belong to will hunt you down blah blah. Its all brainwashing techniques.
Be careful what you get into, if it sounds crazy it probably is.

Lashra

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 5:13:14 AM

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I'll admit when I read such profile/advertisements I'm not sure whether to shudder or laugh, but you have to give the person credit for honesty... it is what he or she wants and is being upfront about it.

The longer I spend in the scene the more I have it impressed on me is that my limits and interests are not the limits and interests of other people. After reading such a profile, a person is free to scramble to the email box or to just move on to the next one.

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RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 5:20:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justatoy2

ok i know this is pet peeve of mine..but its dominant..not dominate when you are talking about someone..sorry but that just drives me crazy.

*Seconds that motion--- resists the urge to get all Nikita-like and bang my shoe on the desk for emphasis...*

Level

(in reply to justatoy2)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 5:36:30 AM

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Dear Mistress of Ga,

While I can appreciate your position as devil's advocate, I think you're running afoul of people here based on attitude. An interesting thread for you to consider might be the one called "From Abuse To Submission". There's a perspective in there that is very helpful to understading why some posters feel the way they do in this thread.

Bear with me for a sec while I try and explain. When I walked in off the street to have a look around this site, the first thing I read was the thread on male Chastity belts. lol As far as I'm concerned, thats not exactly the right place to start if you want to get a sense of the cummunity here on these boards. lolol

The second place I went was to the profile listings. Another good place NOT to start now that I look back on it. I too found several postings from men and women that quite fankly disturbed me. Big Time.

I think your life style sounds a lot more fun that what these profile listings are offering. There's just this whole different feel to what you're putting out into the world, compared to what some of the profiles seem to be suggesting.

Sometimes I feel its wrong to say, "anything goes". Why defend brutality in its base form? Whats so uplifting about being abused? I disagree with the whole, "who's to say what is and isnt abuse" that you're suggesting. Where does your philosophy get us in the end? You're idea could lead us to then to say, whats so bad about having sex with little girls? Right? How do you know those little girls didnt like it? Maybe they even consented! I could find a zillion other examples if that one doesnt suit you.

There ARE things that people do to others that are damaging. It's not a world of, "all in good fun". You're sort of trying to defend your own personal lifestyle. And the topic wasnt even about you to begin with. This is not about two people getting off on paddle play. This is about something far more serious. It would be nice if you had some respect for that.

Sincerely Sophia

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 5:38:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

ORIGINAL: MtnGlory

quote:

What Dominant Assumes Slaves have Absoluty know Rights?

What Dominant assumes that slaves have no rights? Hopefully None. What Dominant is given the right to assume this? One who has the slaves consent to deny the slave any rights.

MoG hit the nail on the head! It is with consent---and at anytime consent can be removed---however, I do know we have some posters here that have slaves that feel differently--so this is only MHO.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 6:01:52 AM

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Ok i wasn't going to respond to this thread again; however, i went back and re-read the OP, the profile, the responses afterwards. Ssome of Yyou didn't like the fact that i called what the profile was looking for was abuse. my first gut reaction to the WORD yes hit a nerve, and i knee-jerked and responded to that. So i went back and re-read the profile instead of letting the WORD make my decision for me. As i stated later on, it was what was in the PROFILE. Had this person simply said 'SLUT PIG' for humiliation, etc. etc. it would still have struck a nerve with me; however, i would NOT have called it abuse. (BTW i wasn't the ONLY one who said it)..

i am not a wordsmith and many times have difficulty getting my point across. Yes if someone responds to that profile, it is consentual. However, are Wwe so tolerant of Oothers that Wwe turn a blind eye, shrug Oour shoulders and say 'well it's consentual', anything goes. Ssomeone said that there are those out there that are abusers and use the cloak of this life to further their abusive nature. imo, they are the ones that the vanilla folks point to and say "see what 'they' do is wrong" and make it difficult for the rest.

Yyou don't have to agree with me and i don't always have to agree with Yyou. Yet in all of these posts, i have not seen Oone Pperson point out Oone good thing about that profile. What has happened is that i knee-jerked to a word, then read the profile, called it as i saw it, then was chastised(sp?) for stating my opinion.

This is all my own opinion, of course. It's why i come to these threads. To learn, to get other's ideas.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to Level)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 6:14:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Dear Mistress of Ga,

While I can appreciate your position as devil's advocate, I think you're running afoul of people here based on attitude. An interesting thread for you to consider might be the one called "From Abuse To Submission". There's a perspective in there that is very helpful to understading why some posters feel the way they do in this thread.

Sophia, while I can appreciate that you have every right to your opinion, just as I do, I do not have to "understand" why posters feel the way they do on this thread, any more than they have to "understand" why I feel the way I do.

Bear with me for a sec while I try and explain. When I walked in off the street to have a look around this site, the first thing I read was the thread on male Chastity belts. lol As far as I'm concerned, thats not exactly the right place to start if you want to get a sense of the cummunity here on these boards. lolol

The second place I went was to the profile listings. Another good place NOT to start now that I look back on it. I too found several postings from men and women that quite fankly disturbed me. Big Time.

That is why you move on to the next profile. If you do not like the one you are reading, if it offends you or disturbs you, dont read it.

I think your life style sounds a lot more fun that what these profile listings are offering. There's just this whole different feel to what you're putting out into the world, compared to what some of the profiles seem to be suggesting.

This may be true, or it might not be. For every one person that says my life style sounds more fun than those who have a different kind of kink, there's another person out there that says my life sounds boring. Everyone has their own kink.

Sometimes I feel its wrong to say, "anything goes". Why defend brutality in its base form? Whats so uplifting about being abused? I disagree with the whole, "who's to say what is and isnt abuse" that you're suggesting. Where does your philosophy get us in the end? You're idea could lead us to then to say, whats so bad about having sex with little girls? Right? How do you know those little girls didnt like it? Maybe they even consented! I could find a zillion other examples if that one doesnt suit you.

Well now this is a huge stretch. I would never say that a child deserved or liked being sexually abused. First of all, the child can not give consent. You are going to have to do better at finding another example. And as far as "who's to say what is and isnt abuse"? The person who has not given consent. That is who. But someone reading a bdsm message forum can not make that call. They can only state their opinions, which Angelic did, but there is no need to insult another persons kink just because in her opinion it is abuse. What is abuse to her, may not be abuse to someone else.

There ARE things that people do to others that are damaging. It's not a world of, "all in good fun". You're sort of trying to defend your own personal lifestyle. And the topic wasnt even about you to begin with. This is not about two people getting off on paddle play. This is about something far more serious. It would be nice if you had some respect for that.

I was not defending anything. I was using my paddling my submissive as an example of what some vanilla folks may call abusive. If two consenting adults want to sit in the woods naked and throw darts at each other all day, that is what they can do. Why? Because they are two consenting adults. Period. There is nothing "far more serious" about anything in this life style than the next, only people's perception of it. Now, if a submissive comes to this board and says that she is being abused because her Dom wants to use her as a human toilet and she didnt consent to this, then we can all start sprouting abuse, but until then, it is just a kink that two consenting adults enjoy doing. That is what I have respect for. Thank you.

Editted for clarification

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 3/6/2006 6:19:16 AM >

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(in reply to sophia37)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 6:46:59 AM

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Since my quoting abilities suck at best, i am going to respond to one sentence in a prior post. If at anytime i berated Aanyone while stating my opinion, Yyou have my sincerest apologizies. If Yyou wish for an individual apology, please let me know it will be forwarded to Yyou immediately.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 6:58:21 AM

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I think you're way off base here, sophia. Ga's statements were well said and I agree with them totally. It's all preference and the profile will attract someone that is looking for these exact same things.

Abuse is a word thrown around way too much for being a lifestyle of accepting ourselves and others for who they are.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to sophia37)

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! - 3/6/2006 7:08:53 AM

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angelic, for the record I disagree with your posts about the profile and it being abusive. Enough said.

But I do want to say that I think you have way too much emotional baggage to have a healthy relationship. I think you need to step back from the lifestyle and seek counseling for what you went through. Your quickness to call abuse to anything that is not what you seek tells me that you will not find happiness until you do. Just my thoughts.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to angelic)

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