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Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:13:01 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Or do you always have to be going farther? Do you get lazy if you don't have a new rule to learn or enforce?

What with life getting in the way of fun, offspring, jobs, honey do lists etc we aren't the types to be pushing to do new stuff. We're lucky if we have time to play once a month lately. And when we do, we're sticking with the stuff we know we'll enjoy instead of risking a bad outcome with no chance of replacing it with a good experience shortly.

He doesn't feel a need to push me to do something that it's doubtful I'll be able to accomplish well if at all just for the sake of pushing me.

But I know a lot of people see it differently, they always need to be striving for something new and harder. Where does everyone line up, and why?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

Post #: 1

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:17:09 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I don't think that what you've described means a person is unhappy in the moment.

For me, I refuse to stagnate. I believe very strongly that the day I stop learning, exploring, trying new things, is the day I am dead. I know there are a lot of people that have a fear of the unknown, that refuse to even try a new recipe or restaurant, people that take their vacations to the same places........all because it is comfortable and they know they will be satisfied. I cannot imagine living like that. It is simply unfathomable to me.

Yet I am quite happy. Happy because I don't always know what the next moment will bring. Happy in anticipation of new experiences. It's just the way I am made.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 2

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:19:38 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

We are not happy where we are... or, more accurately, we are very happy where we are and hoping to be happier. For Carol & I, the dynamic is a tool by with which we wind our love affair tighter. We are of the more is better mindset when it comes to love. So I am constantly pushing the boundaries of what is thinkable, both for her and I. Like any trust exercise, together we conquer those new and scary boundaries and we end up feeling more closely aligned than we were. It is also true that Carol and I tend to be extremists by nature. If we're going to explore something, we want to explore it to it's full extent insofar as we can envision that. I have arranged our lives so that the "getting in the way" part that you mention is mitigated to a large degree. In the end, I chose having less "stuff" in favor of having more "her".

It is certainly true though that when life is demanding more of us, I don't add in "optional stresses" by pushing the dynamic at the same time.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 3

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:21:00 AM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

I am now. Smiles* I can do the comfy same old same o for a long time. But eventually, it starts to suck the life from me. Keeping it fresh is something I strive for in all areas of my life.

_____________________________

There's never really a good time for the whole Man to Beast thing...Just kind of~Whaum! and hope for the best...
ToTo from The O.Z.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 4

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:48:50 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

I learned to be happy with what I have.'
More or different always looks better....but sometimes it is not. But you notice that often when it is to late.
But yes...wishes are there...but they are needed to be happy.

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 5

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 8:59:34 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...Are you happy where you are?...

Delirious, thanks for asking!!!

quote:

...Do you get lazy if you don't have a new rule to learn or enforce?...

Nope, this slave has plenty enough instructions and duties to keep her happily occupied.

quote:

...Where does everyone line up, and why?...

Briefly before and with more depth after exploring each other sexually on the first date, we took some time to explore each other's personality, intellect and sense of humor before agreeing to an M/s relationship with each other. we both felt that we had been mismatched with relationship partners in the past, due to the primary focus of previous relationships being on "love", shared offspring and/or marital commitment without sufficient compatibility to enjoy a fulfilling relationship outside of those parameters.

so we focused on determining if we had compatible interests and desires and discovered along the way that we are each other's "fantasy" mate come true. He decides what, when, where, how, why and with who...and this slave is very much content with that.

there are times when He will instruct this slave to perform a task that He knows is difficult and it is obvious He is pleasured, either in spite of or as a direct result of this slave's struggle. this slave, as it turns out, is happy to provide Him with a source of pleasure.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 6

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 9:01:29 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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I have a bit of an adventurous spirit and am always open to trying something new. Life offers so many possibilities, I don't want to limit myself due to a fear that something might not work out.

I say this, however, after having lived a life that was stifled for so long. I've only begun to live, so I want to make the most of it.

As for where I am in my current relationship, we are still quite new and are moving forward slowly, so there is much to come. I look forward to that :)

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 9:16:42 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Or do you always have to be going farther? Do you get lazy if you don't have a new rule to learn or enforce?

But I know a lot of people see it differently, they always need to be striving for something new and harder. Where does everyone line up, and why?

i'm content where i am at present, but recognize there's more to be done and delight in the opportunity to do so. resting on my laurels is a concept i cannot embrace. as a child we were taught that boredom is a choice and there's always something to see, do, learn, or experience. i approach this in several ways. the first involves articulating my interests and areas of improvement. my schedule is devised around these facets and each day has a designated focus. i account for my time and allow some flexibility when necessary because life does interfere as mentioned.

but i don't limit myself there. i generally have a theme each month that i'm giving attention to. i perform research, read, and explore other resources that provide information that i can glean. at the end of the month i compile the data and compose my thoughts. whether i learned something small or large is unimportant. what is imperative is that i made time for the subject and gave it the attention it deserved. i maintain a journal and expose myself to different ideologies because difference isn't bad. it allows me to take a subject and look at it from various angles which i enjoy.

i supplement these things through participation in self designed projects for self betterment, which i'm engaging in at present. i'm also an active member of several groups on and offline that provide additional opportunities for education and camaraderie. for me slavery is both a vocation and skill that must be continually honed and maintained. there's always a thought, behavior, or deed that can be ceded to Him. i don't believe my growth is wholly dependent on what He assigns, but should encompass my willingness and capacity for improvement. perhaps this is easier for me because i'm naturally self directed. i view commitment two fold and feel it must be made to oneself and the One that owns. we're in this together after all.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 9:39:29 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

where i am right now? of course not I'm stationed far away from those that i love. as far as the dynamic I'm in then yes i most certainly am. i always like to try new things but there not necessary to keep the dynamic going. theres many things that can be done and i enjoy doing them.

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 9

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 9:47:56 AM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Or do you always have to be going farther? Do you get lazy if you don't have a new rule to learn or enforce?

Yes, I am happy where I am. Yes, I always have to be going farther. It has nothing to do with laziness. If you aren't growing, you're dying.

I don't think it really has anything to do with how often we play or what the next crazy stunt we will try to pull off will be. It has more to do with those deeper things like developing an unshakable trust, learning to truly communicate (you know, beyond hearing with our ears), and treasuring the other in all his/her fullness and depth. I don't need a playdate to do these things. These are the result of a relationship worthy of investment of two very vital yet limited resources: time and energy.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 10:06:06 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The deployment thing does weigh in on the question at hand. No, I'm not happy about that part, but it's something that I have to accept.

Other than that, I have to say that I am. No, I don't play as much as I did before the move, but honestly, it's not bothering Me. I'm quite content with where I am. In fact, I'm thinking of taking the blurb off of My profile about wishing to add another sub. Not for the reason that most folks do because they are frustrated with the search, but because I'm very content with what I already have. There's been no feelings of restlessness because I'm not doing as much as I used to. I scratch the itch when I get it (topwise) and it seems to be just enough.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 11

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 10:20:23 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

Are you happy where you are?

Passionately and gloriously so.

quote:

Or do you always have to be going farther?

Staying stagnent is not productive and life evolves.

quote:

Do you get lazy if you don't have a new rule to learn or enforce?

'Lazy people are always eager to do something.' French Proverb.
So the answer is - No.

quote:

What with life getting in the way of fun, offspring, jobs, honey do lists etc we aren't the types to be pushing to do new stuff. We're lucky if we have time to play once a month lately. And when we do, we're sticking with the stuff we know we'll enjoy instead of risking a bad outcome with no chance of replacing it with a good experience shortly.

He doesn't feel a need to push me to do something that it's doubtful I'll be able to accomplish well if at all just for the sake of pushing me.

But I know a lot of people see it differently, they always need to be striving for something new and harder. Where does everyone line up, and why?

We have a busy life, however Master controls it and I would never say that it 'gets in the way'of anything we do. If someone is ill, we work around it. If the children need to be somewhere, we work with it. Master does not limit us and he knows our abilities, so nothing is forced that cannot be achieved, but life is lived.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 11:00:11 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Any relationship that doesn't constantly change becomes stagnant and boring and will ultimately crash and burn.
I'm finding that I'm really happy in this relationship and enjoy every stage that we experience.

_____________________________

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 12:25:27 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I am happy as -who- I am, right now. I am happy -where- I am, right now. However, being happy, for me, does not mean that I am not constantly looking for a new adventure. The two are not mutually exclusive for me, and those who have come to cherish me as I've come to cherish them understand that my own need for intensity will probably mean that I will set aside even the most idyllic situation, after a while, for a new challenge and new intensity and new instability -- because I learn, grow, reach, and achieve through challenge and a sense of insecurity about where I am and what I'm doing... if things are secure and happy, that's good, but only for a while, for me -- I crave the different and untested.

Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 14

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 12:27:34 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I'm very happy where I am right now :).. life is fantastic !!

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 15

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 12:50:55 PM

bliss4us09

Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline

The possibility in inherent in something new or edgy makes it worth taking some risk. That said, every encounter needn't include it. (Only time to play once a month seems a bit sad, though.)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 1:02:35 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Any relationship that doesn't constantly change becomes stagnant and boring and will ultimately crash and burn.

This is very much an opinion and not a fact. It may be your own reality but not so for everyone. Some people thrive on getting to a good point and nestling in, comfortable without constant change. As someone who has been in relationships that have gone through more ups and downs than a rollercoaster, I kinda like consistency and the calm feeling of knowing things AREN'T going to constantly change. I don't need that to keep from becoming bored. But that's just me

luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 10/16/2009 1:03:22 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 17

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 1:03:18 PM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!
*clap*clap*

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 18

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 1:23:42 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Any relationship that doesn't constantly change becomes stagnant and boring and will ultimately crash and burn.

This is very much an opinion and not a fact. It may be your own reality but not so for everyone. Some people thrive on getting to a good point and nestling in, comfortable without constant change. As someone who has been in relationships that have gone through more ups and downs than a rollercoaster, I kinda like consistency and the calm feeling of knowing things AREN'T going to constantly change. I don't need that to keep from becoming bored. But that's just me

luci

Well of course it's my opinion. Everything I write here is my opinion.

I didn't mean to imply that it was the only way. What works for me is unique to me.

_____________________________

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 19

RE: Are you happy where you are? - 10/16/2009 2:05:33 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I enjoy where I am and I love being pushed into something new periodically as well. Master is happy with what we do (obviously, or he'd change it), but he thinks I periodically need to have my boundaries stretched and is happy to provide : ) We line up well in our interests and needs.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 20

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