Kooth
Posts: 16
Joined: 8/17/2004
Status: offline
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I don't have any experience with submissive couples, only with other maledom/femsub couples like I was in. I/we frequently found that the other male was frequently just selfish and wanted to be able to sleep around. I had a few confrontations and we had abrupt departures when, after playing together, they'd try to break agreed upon limits as soon as they were alone with her. We had much more sucess with single (usually Dom or at least not submissive) males, whom we could vett out at a more leisurely pace.
As far as individuals accepting poly- in general or in the context of BDSM, I think I see less openness here in CT than I did in Oregon. People feel they have to hide it from family, friends, co-workers etc and so it's less well known and of course exposure breeds tolerance. I know I feel more secure when I have more like-minded friends around me, I'm sure this goes for poly- or BDSM crowds. When there are more role models again it engenders more people trying and growing into a lifestyle, rather than being afraid of the unknown, or learning skills poorly and scaring themselves AND others off.
It's almost a catch-22, you need more people in a scene to get others interested and involved, and if that population is dwindling (or becoming marginallized? by the media - oh, I shouldn't have said that LOL) it will keep that trend.
My wishful thinking is that it's cyclical, which would almost bring us back to what you didn't want to hear: there was a large population of polyamorous people at one time, of one generation, and with a couple generations in between then and now that looked askance at it, it's not as popular or attractive to someone like a young, impressionable female sub.
Oh, and one more thought that I forgot and had to chase down: how many men are portraying themselves as available in this mad rush of online romance of the last 5 years or more, and saying they are in poly or open relationships, but AREN'T, and so many single females are becoming jaded and disillusioned by the notion of polyamory because it's been put forward to them and they've been burned? How many stories of it happening vs. how many times does it actually happen (too many regardless) before it has a snowball effect?
I don't think it has anything to do with women being more secure in themselves in the workplace or with not getting married, living and working independently, because that would lead to greater freedom to explore alternative relationship styles, wouldn't it? If you could try it and have the resources to leave it and go back out into the wilds on your own? Unless that factor just breeds more Dommes, and fewer femsubs to even be aware of poly, never mind accepting.
Which brings me back to diminishing populations again. Thinking as I type, for a change, I used to have to have my ideas all laid out before I presented them. Which sorely limited my involvement in discussions of any sort.
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