|
Mercnbeth -> "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Or do you? (3/7/2006 11:50:04 AM)
|
I don't know about many of you, but my beth is very much into genealogy. From her efforts, now I know what boat my ancestors stowed away on from Sicily, and she knows the boat her people were told to get on when they were sold themselves into indentured servitude prior to the American revolution. How the hell did we end up together in souther California????? But that's a story for another thread.
When an interesting debate I was having resulted into hearing the surrendering cry; "You don't know Jack Schitt!" I thought it incumbent of me to find out more about this all knowing "Jack Schitt" person. Just for kicks, I assigned her the task of researching it in the genealogy program I purchased for her.
Well, thanks to her effort, when someone throws; "You don't know Jack Schitt!" at you, you can respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced seven children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, Eat Schitt and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile! , Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Eat Schitt married Anne Dye. They produce a daughter, and Eat Schitt named her after his mother -Noe Phucking Schitt.
Two of the other seven children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
(Actually this was sent to me by a friend in email I just embellished it with the first two paragraphs. No-Schitt!)
|
|
|
|
