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Termyn8or -> RE: The Vortex of help (10/26/2009 1:41:48 PM)
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FR
Des, she does not drive. So your kid is in psych ? Great. We need more competence in that field. And actually I mentioned this to my Mother on the phone earlier today. Getting her in with other who havre had similar experience would probably be a good thing, but they would probably wind up here. She goes to NA with her sister, hopefully she gets something out of that. In fact she was fucking with Rick's head saying she wants him to head up a meeting. She does not currently have a substance problem, in fact she doesn't even smoke weed. She goes to support her sister. I offered to go, how this came about is that the normal "leader" of the meeting is unavailable for some reason. I ponder just what I could accomplish there, because I used to do all that shit. The only reason I am OK now is that I am not addictable. I am not normal. A guy who could love you, look you straight in the eye and pull the trigger is not normal, but is also not likely to succumb to the buzz of those substance'. Or maybe I'm just lucky in that I don't like the buzz all that much. I would go to that NA meeting and speak my mind. One day I might elaborate on just what I would say.
pyro, along with what you said, I believe there is a point one reaches, which could be equated with critical mass. While my stress right now is on moving forward, and that for a time I have removed most of the cost of living, take this time and get better. Now is the time. I can afford this, and I kinda like these people. So that's the way it is. I don't pry, sometime she just feels like talking. We are talking about a broad who has been in jail for beating the shit out of her olman (not this one). But now she is like butter.
Miss, I get what you say, but I don't think there will be a lack of follow through. For one it is pretty much established that she is here for the winter, also, if things keep going the way they are going, I don't care if she stays forever. I think in those months she will grow, and eventually might be able to handle "The Urban Way". That's when all the bullshit from the past is gone, when the future is really your's. My upbringing, while better than many, was far from perfect. But at around 40 I just decided the future is mine, I am here, I have the intelligence to shape my future. That's what matters. And if you can't control ytour emotions, at least feel what you feel now, not some shit that happened twenty years ago.
In this I might find the right angle. She was abused beyond belief, I have not yet revealed all she has told me. On the downside it was severe, on the upside she eventually got used to it. She can at least talk about it.
And cjan, careful ? I could take a wrong turn and have her slashing her wrists in about 15 minutes. This type of power is not meant for those who buy it, it is for those who earn it. How do you treat a flower that has never had a chance to fully bloom ? For that I'll quote I think the fifth charge of Odinism :
Deal not harshly with the humble and lowly.
Strange thing happened the other day. Her family stopped over. Turns out a bunch of them are freeloaders and will eat just about anything in sight. I made a remark. Thinking that maybe I shouldn't have, the next morning she thanked me for the remark. They did not head for the hills but the way she put it was she was gald to see them go. My response "If those people are who created the environment by which you came here, they are not all that welcome ".
There is so much more, it would never fit in one post. But I like to think my life will leave a mark on the world. And not a bloodstain I hope. I'll go with it.
T
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