alittleevil
Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aee77 As you read please keep in mind that I am very new to this.... I am curious to know why Dominants/Masters/Tops etc... seem very unwilling to discuss training ahead of time - is this just an unspoken rule or is there some reason behind it? Could you please provide more information on what you mean by "training"? Do you mean their specific methods? Or what are they training you for? Are they being cryptic like "Oh, don't worry your pretty head about that...you'll find out when you get here"? Are you (or they) looking for some formal, standardized approach? They might not have anything more elaborate than "I'll teach you what I like and want as we go along." (Alternatively, some of those you are talking to might be being "mysterious" if they simply don't know what they would do once they had you!) quote:
Also - How does one determine a good fit in this type of relationship? Do you like each other? Do you have similar tastes? Do you seem fundamentally compatible as individuals or do you get that awkward sense each of you is playing a role that is getting in the way of communicating as mere people? Are you looking for a life/romantic companion? A D/s relationship that is more "set apart" from your routine daily life? Something in between? D)Done of the above? If you can first define this, it will help you communicate it with others. quote:
I've read a ton on both the D and s sides but run into a lot of very vague information.... for instance I am unable to find much information regarding BDSM and the Dom's goal if SM, objectification or (forgive me if this is wrong) - a "pet" is not involved. Meaning basically D/s without accouterments? Service and/or obedience. Or a very traditional Male (or Female-) led household. Anything is possible, from high-protocol dynamics (in which the submissive is generally trained in a more formal manner) to a lifestyle that is more laid back in day to day 'style' but in which absolute obedience and pleasing service are still required. A D/s relationship that does not involve SM as a sexual expression (or for its own sake) may (might, maybe, possibly) still involve physical disciplinary tactics and/or some degree of objectification/humiliation that occur as part of the process of getting to the dominant party's ideal of service and obedience, so be aware of that possibility. Peace, aj
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Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)
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