Are you 'into' older men?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Are you 'into' older men?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Are you 'into' older men?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 5:05:26 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 5:31:46 AM

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Depends.

Oh wait.

That's another subject entirely.

Never mind.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 5:42:17 AM

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

Recently age and geography were part of a conversation I was engaged in, my comment was I could file a flight plan and be in any city in the United States the following day or have breakfast in one city and dinner on the opposite side of the nation that same day. However, I cannot develop emotional attachment desire or interest in a woman young enough to be my child or even more the five years my junior, so I simply don’t venture into areas I don’t belong in.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 5:46:18 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I don't view it as them pushing, but as a badly worded request for information. Since so many people are picky about their partner's age, perhaps they've gotten harsh turn downs when they wrote someone younger and are trying to discover if you have a preferred age range that you haven't listed.

Obviously it would be more clear to simply say "Liked your profile but I didn't see an age range of potential partners listed. Do you have one?" However not everyone is good at writing.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Santoro)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:16:34 AM

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?

Q1 & Q2 I would never attempt to get involved with one so young, not that there is anything wrong with a 23 year old, I just am a realist. Our interests and lifestyle outside of BDSM would be vastly different. Neither men nor women like to be rejected and since neither would feel that it was a personality flaw, they would assume it was the age. So be willing to give them an honest answer as to why you are rejecting them. For the record, at 23 I am sure you think you are attractive and you may be, but there will come a time when your looks will desert you, and you will be one being rejected or tossed out with the garbage.

Q3 &Q4. I think most as some point in their lives will ask this question men women, straight as well as gay, should they attempt to enter a relationship where there is an age difference and especially if they are the senior member.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:21:21 AM

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?

I'm attracted to a person, not their age.

Why do men insist on asking this question?

Curiousity...insecurity...could be a whole host of reasons depending on how important it is to them.

Do gay men ask this question of younger men?

Not sure...not a gay man.

Do women ask this question of younger men/women?

I've been involved with younger men and yes, it will come up in conversation. Rarely am I the one to bring it up, though. Maturity is what matters...not a number.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:26:50 AM

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?

DesFIP makes some good points. It's also true that some women are "into" older men. Some have daddy issues. Some just prefer men who are more experienced and secure in life.

Given the demographics at cm, I've conversed with some nice men who are 20+ years older than me. The age issue has come up and I don't quite know how to respond. I've settled on a variation of - I have no experience in a relationship with an older man, but I'm open to it. And that's produced "ouch" responses. But I'm biting my tongue (fingers?) to avoid explaining that my actual practices would suggest that I am "into" younger men.

Which brings us to the last question. When approaching a younger man, I don't care if he's "into" older women, I care if he's "into" me. I'm not one to press for explanations for a "not interested" signal or reply, so I don't know (or need to know) if the rejection was based on my age.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:32:28 AM

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

DesFIP makes some good points. It's also true that some women are "into" older men. Some have daddy issues. Some just prefer men who are more experienced and secure in life.

And some, like yours truly, just like the physical attributes that come with age, when rugged replaces boyish.

(in reply to Lucienne)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:43:01 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I look at the person first. Obviously if a girl has contacted me she knows my age and if not she'll be told first up and have it explained that my wife Lady Neets is 30 years younger then I. If entering into a poly home and having the master of the home 64 is not a turn off we may have a starting point in which we can cover disabilities, our and hers if any. When I'm searching profiles anywhere, I usually set my search to 34 - 60. I have in issues with younger girls or boys, but I prefer someone who has sown their wild oats and are settled down with probably a clearer view of what they are seeking and want. As I say, it is the person that matters to me and how well we can gel.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Viridana)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:43:18 AM

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

DesFIP makes some good points. It's also true that some women are "into" older men. Some have daddy issues. Some just prefer men who are more experienced and secure in life.

And some, like yours truly, just like the physical attributes that come with age, when rugged replaces boyish.

In my observation, that transition usually happens around 25-27. I guess you probably have a different definition of boyish. :)

(in reply to Viridana)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:54:55 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
For the record, at 23 I am sure you think you are attractive and you may be, but there will come a time when your looks will desert you, and you will be one being rejected or tossed out with the garbage.

I do think I'm attractive, but only because many many people, men and women, have told me. However, I plan on staying attractive even when I'm 50,60,70, or until my body breaks down and I can't work at being attractive any longer. If a man finds that kind of dedication to my health, fitness, and well being 'garbage' and wants to 'throw me out' then how shallow must he be?

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:57:13 AM

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?

Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 6:58:05 AM

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

And some, like yours truly, just like the physical attributes that come with age, when rugged replaces boyish.

Agreed. Think Sam Elliott -vs- a Jonas brother. Nooooo contest for me

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Viridana)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:01:55 AM

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

What is your take on the age question?

Having had partners my age, and some much younger, I tend to like the person, not the age, but in my experience it's a pros & cons thing. Younger girls tend (note tend, it's not a universal truism) to have less baggage than girls nearer my own age, but then again they're often (obviously) less mature in their outlook. But again, you get exceptions at both ends of the scale. Overall it matters less to me than most other factors, like personality and character.

As to why some younger girls prefer older men, that's something for them to answer, but I'd hazard that it's often to do with the confidence, experience and maturity appealing. Plus I've been told by some younger girls that older men are generally just more pleasant to deal with, on account of being less pressurising and more generally laid-back, although of course I have no way of knowing if this is true, although it seems logical enough.

Although they may have just been talking about me, rather than as a generalism

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Why do men insist on asking this question?

It's a shorthand for "you didn't put an age range in your ad - what are my chances?"

Personally, I'd phrase it differently, as in "you didn't put an age range in your ad - what are my chances?"

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:08:06 AM

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Depends.

_____________________________

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:30:02 AM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy
Why do men insist on asking this question?

Insecurity. They want to be shot down for something that they can perceive as "your shallowness" instead of their own "undesirability." It's a stupid stupid question to ask when trying to get a date. The guy should just put himself forward, and the woman might choose to date him even though he's outside what she formerly considered her limits. I've dated several women in their 20s who said (on their profile) that I was too old for them. They went out with me because they found me intriguing, and I didn't act "old." Also, if a woman rejected me, she was rejecting me, not some broad class of people. It hurts a little more, maybe, but jeez. Dating isn't a wuss activity. It's hard.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:38:28 AM

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Do gay men ask this question of younger men?

Often this question does come up though usually as an after thought after othetr more important questions are asked! Usually the questions follow a somewhat specific order:
1) so what are you into?
2) want to hook up?
3) cut or uncut?
4) you a top or bottom?
5) are you seeing anyone?

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:46:29 AM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't understand how you think of that question as pressure. Younger men ask me if I am into younger men and or me it just seems like a question, I feel no pressure from it. Perhaps it is your insecurity?

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:47:28 AM

Posts: 523
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline

To me, it seems insecure and would scream "too submissive for me" right away. If he's the sort of man that could claim me, he wouldn't give a damn about whether I was "into older men," he'd just do it. YMMV.

anna

_____________________________

in obsequium hominis

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:50:23 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Yeah, I get asked all the time if I am into younger women........I simply see it as "I'm younger than you and kinda dig you, could you dig me" kinda thing.

Unfortunately, they usually do not like my answer.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Are you 'into' older men?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.129