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I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 7:24:43 AM

Darkelder

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/27/2004
Status: offline

I'm not experienced much as a Dom, but I am really interested in developing my skills and learning. I have written to at least ten people, none of which has had the courtesy of even replying. So far, this website is seeming to be a bunch of baloney, where women post who are not really serious about finding a Dom partner. I know I'm an unknown, but if no one even gives me the chance, how will they find out.

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 7:52:35 AM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

yeah I wonder where all those damn submissive women are who are desiring to be used as a fucktoy on the side by a married man. Gotta wonder what the hell is wrong with all these dumb sluts, eh? Yeah. yeah..right?

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 8:01:33 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

It helps to read profiles thoroughly before emailing someone. A lot of subs do not want a partner, they are looking for friendship and conversation only. If they do want a partner, the majority wants a lifetime partner who cannot be married already (bigamy ring a bell?). You have thrown out a huge part of the collarme population by being married, however, I do commend you for being honest.

Have you tried to play real time? Your local group might have members who are willing to play discretely.

Good luck,
ann

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 8:06:18 AM

gitta

Posts: 110
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Darkelder,

Welcome to collarme. Perhaps the fact you are married causes pause. BDSM is based on TRUST, i most certainly would not respond in a positive manner to a married man(if i were looking)...hard to trust a man who is not willing to commit. There could be someone out there who is willing to see a married man, just for this one it is a bright red flag. Playmates "on the side" are few and far between around here. Good luck.

_____________________________

smiles,
gitta

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 11:05:03 AM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

Darkelder, a couple of suggestions if I may:

A picture helps. People like to know who they're dealing with. If you need to be discreet, crop it, or do what you have to, but no pic makes it difficult.

Your profile is quite short. Admittedly to the point, but you might want to expand it a little.

In my opinion, I think some explanation of why you're into BDSM while you're married would help. Even something simple, like "She's Vanilla".

In my case, for example, my wife is chronically ill, and can't have sex. I'm pretty up-front about it. If someone can't handle that, they need to look elsewhere.

Finally, some patience, unfortunately is required. A lot of the people here are no longer looking, so its different from a "dating" site.

Good luck.

~smile~

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 11:11:26 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Hi Darkelder.
Welcome to the forums. I'm sure the married thing is a problem for you. Also your name implies that you are old, but you aren't. Contacting 10 women isn't very many, but i agree it is rude to not even reply. Also it might help to say a little more about yourself in your profile, what you interests are, what kind of woman you are looking for, etc. Does your wife know of your bdsm interests? If not it might help to sit her down and have a talk. Maybe she has submissive fantasies and has been afraid to say anything (that was me a few years ago and hubby is now my Dom).
Good luck with your search.

There are many threads on here about how to contact people and also about handling vanilla spouses. If you set the days at the top of each forum to 365 and go back through the threads you may find a lot of interest.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/1/2004 1:49:11 PM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

It also depends on how you contact them.. being that your profile is short, I hope that your intitial email to them tells they what you seek, and what about there profile attracts you. Don't assume that just because someone is submissive that they want to be submissive to you, without getting to know something about you.

Good luck,

Ms.Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to proudsub)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/2/2004 8:08:01 AM

Darkelder

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/27/2004
Status: offline

I appreciate the responses and advice. Thanks. I am trying to be discreet but you are right I need to expand my profile and add a discreet pix as well. The wife is super vanilla, who would not understand this need in me at all. My thanks to those who responded honestly to my post.

(in reply to Darkelder)

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RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. - 9/2/2004 9:20:09 PM

NightDaughter

Posts: 264
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Welcome Darkelder,

Well reading profiles is a good idea, to make sure that the person your emailing is looking. Believe it or not, but some of us here are not looking for partners, some of us have happly partnered, and we are here for the forums and to chat with friends.

That being said, I hope you find what your looking for, take care.

_____________________________

NightDaughter
My Blog - http://www.livejournal.com/users/nightdaughter/
"I never said that I could spell, but I do try my darndest to get my point across" - ND

(in reply to Darkelder)

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