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RE: beating - 11/6/2009 8:51:25 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

In that regard, a spanking is far preferred. It allows her to pay for the tiny indiscretion with her body, as opposed to her mind.


I relate to this idea. Punishment to the body lasts a finite amount of time and then the slate is wiped clean. Punishment to the mind has no "end point," and for me, that means it can go on and on, hanging over my head in a way that causes stress but isn't productive.

One other point: I find that a physical punishment helps me remember something much more vividly. My theory is that it's the mind/body connection. I hear my boyfriend telling me what I did wrong, I feel the punishment, and then I remember both the words and the physical punishment.

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(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: beating - 11/7/2009 12:50:30 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: breatheasone

But i'm confused as to why punishment is fun.

Oh  Candy,
Has anyone brought up the "funishment" idea?  Some people like to "get into trouble" and that is part of fantasy, being naughty.... the punishment (like a spanking) is part of kind of a role play.

Not that I've ever done that... nevah! 

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: beating - 11/7/2009 1:08:43 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I woud never call what Master does to me "beating." It just has a negative connotation to me: "wife-beater" "beaten withing an inch of your life." I don't know. To me it implies abuse. I just call it whoopin'

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: beating - 11/7/2009 1:41:37 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Why? i assume everyone in a D/s and or BDSM relationship is at least 18. So why do some "D" types feel the need to beat their "s" type as punishment? i for instance am a 46 year old, reasonably intelligent, grown woman, i feel like i respond well to conversation. Why is it necessary to beat a reasonable adult as punishment? Or are the "D" types that beat or spank their "s" types doing that because they have "s" types that can't be reasoned with?


Him beating me and me being beaten is one of the many ways we express our love for each other. A need for punishment would take a much different form and would not have a sexual response like the beatings do. Any correction I may need usually takes the form of a conversation and it is highly effective for me.

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RE: beating - 11/7/2009 3:17:42 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Master and i enjoy beatings(me receiving, Him giving) Its a HUGE turn on to me for many reasons. So i'm not opposed to getting beaten, i rather enjoy it. i am just not understanding why two Adults can't talk an issue out and resolve it. Do some grown up people just NEED to get beat/spanked, and cannot "get the message" through conversation?


It's not always that. Somtimes it's just fun for the dominant to punish you. Sometimes he knows very well he could talk and reason with you but he wants to assert his control over you in another way--give you a physical deterrent, even if you don't particularly need one--or want one. It's not about your mind and your ability to reason or listen or learn, usually. it's about his will and desires. Don't sweat it, it's small stuff. :)

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(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: beating - 11/8/2009 11:44:09 AM   
spookyfe


Posts: 74
Status: offline 		I am the same sometimes i also NEED to be physically punished to being me out of a certain mood i usually ask for it as i can feel it begining it qlways works for me , buit its not really punishment as such. the only time i have been physically punished was when i swore when he twisted my nipples a bit harder pushing my a bit he then twisted them very hard. it worked never sworn again
quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

My girl and I have discussed this.  There are times that she gets in a frenetic irrational mood and NEEDS physical punishment to stabilize.  Her caps, not mine.  We have a specific implement and place for "punishment" as opposed to rough playtime.

Stefan


(in reply to MercTech)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: beating - 11/8/2009 3:18:05 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I don't do punishment. Funishment, yes- that's yummy. But not punishment.

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(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: beating - 11/8/2009 8:36:42 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i only beat my slave for pleasure. beatings are a lot of energy expenditure. i can find plenty of other ways to punish my slave.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: beating - 11/9/2009 11:09:46 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i am specifically speaking of punishment, not beating


Sorry, I must have misread the subject header of your question.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: beating - 11/9/2009 1:22:54 PM   
spatejak


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This reminds me of the old joke: "Please, beat me," asked the masochist.
"No!" replied the sadist.

I prefer to make my slaves stand in the corner, force them to take an uncomfortable postion, or something similar. It also gives them time to think about the bad thing they did to deserve punishment. I've never met anyone who enjoys this.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: beating - 11/9/2009 10:34:00 PM   
kasumi


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline 		I am hurt as a "play punishment" more than anything. I'm masochistic and Master is not Sadistic, but loves to see me enjoying his actions.

If I really do upset him and he sincerely wishes to change my actions, he takes away some of the freedom that I generally take for granted. For instance, he might forbid me to look at him until I do what he wants.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

I don't do punishment. Funishment, yes- that's yummy. But not punishment.
  Master says he likes this. ;)


< Message edited by kasumi -- 11/9/2009 10:36:12 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: beating - 11/12/2009 5:08:02 AM   
Adelleda


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/23/2009
Status: offline 		Know that 'line' from 'this is OK/consentual' to 'this is hurting (in a bad way)/I'm not liking this'.

Not sure if I'm being helpful here but if it is going beyond enough for you to have 'learnt' your lesson, or if you are not learning anything from the beatings, then either you need to get him when he's calm and talk to him about it, or this might not be right uum situation for you.
Also a good idea to distinguish between fun/play beatings and punishment beatings. It's confusing when these lines get crossed.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: beating - 11/12/2009 5:13:37 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Why? i assume everyone in a D/s and or BDSM relationship is at least 18. So why do some "D" types feel the need to beat their "s" type as punishment? i for instance am a 46 year old, reasonably intelligent, grown woman, i feel like i respond well to conversation. Why is it necessary to beat a reasonable adult as punishment? Or are the "D" types that beat or spank their "s" types doing that because they have "s" types that can't be reasoned with?



for some, it works and for others, like me, it wouldn't work; it's a matter of personal preference, or lack of imagination, or not knowing any better, or because they're lazy, or because it's how they were raised, or because it makes them feel bigger, stronger, powerful...

who the fuck knows? seems asking those you speak to that do such things would be more fruitfull.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: beating - 11/12/2009 8:24:27 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

quote:

i am specifically speaking of punishment, not beating


Sorry, I must have misread the subject header of your question.

"But i am specifically speaking of punishment, not beating in general. (which is TO ME a whole different category)"

It must have been too much trouble to copy and paste those last 10 words. As i said...i understand beating, play, "funishment" whatever you want to call it....what i DON'T get...is why ANYONE enjoys beating as a punishment (NOT FUNISHMENT, not playing, not just general S/m beating)

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 11/12/2009 8:25:05 AM >

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(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: beating - 11/12/2009 8:45:26 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

who the fuck knows? seems asking those you speak to that do such things would be more fruitfull.

Its a BDSM discussion board, i was under the impression i was asking the right people


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: beating - 11/12/2009 8:52:57 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		this isn't the best explanation, (its focus was something else) but there are people who crave the endorphins after a beating, and there are those who appreciate their cathartic quality, and it is rather a closure of sorts, and there are those don't want to go there to get them, and so they live, they learn, they cry, they learn, they lose, they learn.......


clipped from another post I made once, not the best one, but I couldn't find the one I was looking for:
--------------------------
Growing up, I was asswhipped alot....usually with a leather horse cinch doubled, my beggings were begged, my pleadings were pleaded my submissions were submitted. The day I came of age, I bounced my father thru the dining room table. No more-- so I am pretty sure I am not submissive.

However; I know how far I can go before mental or physical damage occurs (painsluts: DO NOT contact me......not my gig). I know the feeling of warm, relaxed, expressed, soothing, expenditure and calm rightness, I just aint gonna go thru that to get there. I am fine at levels way below that wantoness. I also understand needs for ambiance and warmup....... Don't start busting furniture right out of the chute or drive the bobsled straight to hell, either. Can't talk there you say? (never met one who couldn't.........but) I can tell by the thickness of your drool how much you have left. So life experience gives you dimension, no matter the source. And for those who ask the inevitable question; NO this is not what got me into this life.....that's a whole nother story.
So the point is, in essence...depth and breadth of experience are what makes the better doms. The BEST dom may be one who just gives you a slap and a tickle............it's a continuum. (God, the latin who coined that word shoulda took out a patent) he would be a millionaire off this site alone...........
----------------

hopefully there is some insight there.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: beating - 11/14/2009 1:08:25 PM   
NormalOutside


Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
why do some "D" types feel the need to beat their "s" type as punishment? i'm a 46 year old, reasonably intelligent, grown woman


IMO, a 46 year old intelligent person knows that, as with everything else, it works with some and doesn't with others. If it doesn't work with you, but he's doing it anyway, you should talk to him about that. (Duh?!)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
 i assume everyone in a D/s and or BDSM relationship is at least 18.

You know what they say what happens when you ASS-U-ME, right? :p


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: beating - 11/14/2009 4:19:26 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
why do some "D" types feel the need to beat their "s" type as punishment? i'm a 46 year old, reasonably intelligent, grown woman


IMO, a 46 year old intelligent person knows that, as with everything else, it works with some and doesn't with others. If it doesn't work with you, but he's doing it anyway, you should talk to him about that. (Duh?!)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
 i assume everyone in a D/s and or BDSM relationship is at least 18.

You know what they say what happens when you ASS-U-ME, right? :p


Yes you are correct about it working for some and not for others. i believe i spoke to that in post #12 of this thread.
i am Blessed to be in a relationship with a Master that encourages talking and communication as a whole(MY ability to communicate not withstanding). But thank you for the reminder, communication is indeed the cornerstone to a good relationship.



_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to NormalOutside)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: beating - 11/14/2009 10:01:18 PM   
Rhodes85


Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline 		'The rare times I have punished, trust Me, the boy would have rather had a beating.'

Indeed. I advise everyone not to make LP angry. She doesn't hesitate to break out the William Shatners Greatest Hits cd when necessary. Far worse than a beating.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: beating - 11/15/2009 7:11:34 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Why? i assume everyone in a D/s and or BDSM relationship is at least 18. So why do some "D" types feel the need to beat their "s" type as punishment? i for instance am a 46 year old, reasonably intelligent, grown woman, i feel like i respond well to conversation. Why is it necessary to beat a reasonable adult as punishment? Or are the "D" types that beat or spank their "s" types doing that because they have "s" types that can't be reasoned with?

Why does it matter? That's like asking why some feel the need to make a reasonable adult stand in the corner, or why some feel it is necessary to ignore the 's' type. A relationship goes two ways the D type uses corporal punishment and the s type accepts that form of punishment.

To answer your question though, it could very well be part of a culture that died a long time ago. In the 1950's, it was common for a man to spank his wife if she became unmanageable. I picked up a book of the best of Dear Abby written in the 1950's and Abby did advise a husband to take his unruly wife over his knee. Even Ricky spanked Lucy in at least one episode of 'I love Lucy'. I am pretty sure that even in 1950 the women of that era were no less reasonable than they are right now and talking it out may have been as productive as giving them a spanking. But then it was an accepted practice, a man spanked his wife, no cops broke down the door dragging him off in cuffs for assault and she stopped doing whatever it was that earned her a spanking in the first place.

Perhaps however it could be just the dynamic that two people have together----it does not mean that she is unreasonable, unintelligent or unable to effectively communicate.


(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 60
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