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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/11/2009 5:50:40 AM   
Sylverdawn


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I like erections.. I like for my boys to have erections.... but if they cant that doesnt overrule his ability to be of service.. mainly.. because up to this point intercourse with submissives doesnt do a thing for me.. the engery for me is wrong... HOWEVER, if there was some sort of health issue I would want to be told up front... lying by omission is still for me a breech of trust...

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/11/2009 6:32:38 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

mainly.. because up to this point intercourse with submissives doesnt do a thing for me.. lying by omission is still for me a breech of trust...


true..
and if my COCK is attached to a carrier I own..I USE it..every way I can..
GM

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/11/2009 7:05:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCord


Any thoughts?

I think your story here was a perfect illustration as to why it can be so difficult on the male end on when and how to bring this up.  Even when a male isn't facing his own embarrassment (I'm not saying he should be embarrassed about the subject but some males are) depending on the female he's dealing with, he can get different reactions. 

Personally, I see this as a medical condition, whatever the reason behind it.  With that said, it seems to Me that the most appropriate time to bring it up would be prior to play, just the same as I'd want to know if the bottom I'm playing with has diabetes or a lower back problem.  We focus a lot on the bottom making the top aware of any issues, medical or physical that the top should know about during a scene, but it really is just as important from the top side.  Since the discussion has to do with potential issues being exchanged anyway, that might be a good time to bring it up.

That's just My best suggestion.  I'm afraid I don't think it's a foolproof one, but it seems to Me the most logical approach.


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/11/2009 7:59:32 AM   
Drifa


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I once dated a fellow who occasionally had issues maintaining an erection. He was positively gleeful about sex in general, and on the occasions when this occurred, he was perfectly happy to switch to using a strap-on, tongue, fingers, etc. to drive me wild.

I think the attitude has a lot to do with it. Our whole culture is tied up in notions of a man's self-worth being connected to his virility -- it's a connection that goes back in time through at least Classical Greece. The "Smilin' Bob" ads just caricature the social expectation that a man with a limp dick is a sad sack of shit, while a man with an erection is SUPER-DUPER-MAN.

The problem isn't the ED, in other words, is the failure of their largest sex organ, the brain!

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/12/2009 5:59:53 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

There is a possibility that they have had a bad physiological or psychological experience that prevents them from gaining and maintaining an erection. There is another possibility that they have lost the zeal....

I agree with Ron. It is your dick and you want it hard. NOW!!!

After my penis-melty incident I found I had difficulty gaining an erection but no problem maintaining.

Just my POV.






*perk*


Huh?  


Dish, please pyro!

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/13/2009 5:13:19 AM   
stripmymanhood


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OK...here's my two cents on the subject....ED is something i struggle with as well...i tried viagra...found it didn't really work for me...over the last 5 yrs or so, i've found the desired response just isn't there as it once was....if anything, the ED has caused the interest in feminization, and not the other way around....i mean...if it's not working...maybe i need to re-evaluate my role....it is in part why i've decided to have sexual relations with some men of late...as a bottom....because if the plumbing is clogged...it is another way to bring sexual pleasure to someone....just this week, as a matter of fact, i was in a sexual situation with a woman, and couldn't deliver the goods...she was amazing about it....and who knows....if i'm given another opportunity with her, maybe it will react better because she was so good about it, the pressure to deliver will be a bit reduced.

In part, this may be because of my own body issues...i've lost about 40 lbs this year...but still wnat to lose another 40 and have stalled...there are many chicken and egg issues i'm going through between the body, the cock, the feminization thoughts that may be helping clog the pipes...or maybe it's just i'm getting older...of this i'm not certain.

A question for you, GYPSYMAMBO is this....when this happens, what is your immediate reaction?...are you supportive of them or do you show your displeasure....if you're supportive that can only help....if not...well...pressure isn't a good thing when it comes to erections...especially if it's something the man is having trouble with already...is there a buildup to the sexual situation, or does it just happen....if there's a buildup...maybe it needs to be more spontaneous...so there's no great thought about it...and when he gets the proper reaction...ravish him before he knows it.

I hope this is helpful.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/13/2009 5:41:25 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood


A question for you, GYPSYMAMBO is this....when this happens, what is your immediate reaction?...are you supportive of them or do you show your displeasure...............

and when he gets the proper reaction...ravish him before he knows it.

I hope this is helpful.


strip...
This is a good question but I feel I have answered it..previous..

The thread was not about what my reactions are to E.D. and how ot COAX and erection from a man..because I am one of the most caring women you could meet..and have actaully
been a catalyst for diabetic...supposed E.D.penises and 73 yr old penises to come to life...and even if they didn't ... it did not matter.

The thread was to address the siutation where...this info has been lied about..concealed..omitted or selfishly thought of as NOT important  to me WHEN I HAVE STATED IT IS..
SO where as it was not important before it is to me it is now..
and it is what I WANT NOW.
.I do not care to nurse a penis along anymore or cater to men's egos...or ot put a man's sexual dynamics 1st..( * this may sound like a bitch but been there..done that..and with men I loved)

MY reaction has always been of love care and that
IT DID Not MATTER..

I have a preference now FOR AN erection IN MY LIFE WITH A whole man attached of course..
and really resent aprox 4 situationsl lately where their KINK
came first..their needs and the fact that I indicated I had a high sex drive and liked ...bluntly "HARD COCK" did not matter to them.

AS WELL...the erection part is important to me around the BDSM activity..to see IT in certain situation and what I do with it and about it

 
It would be the same as going with a man who loved sex and then saying on into the relationship.
".oh by the way..my va jaja is sewn shut"
(* and I don't need to hear I have a mouth and ass..I already know that we can be creative..)
 
 
I have enjoyed the posts here and the life situations of men with E.D. and how they function in their life with it.
 
I however still want cock.( I lived with 2 men for 20+ years and part of my life is lovemaking 5+ times a day)
It just me..
 
GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/13/2009 5:56:27 AM >


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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/13/2009 5:59:56 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood


A question for you, GYPSYMAMBO is this....when this happens, what is your immediate reaction?...are you supportive of them or do you show your displeasure...............

and when he gets the proper reaction...ravish him before he knows it.

I hope this is helpful.


strip...
This is a good question but I feel I have answered it..previous..

The thread was not about what my reactions are to E.D. and how ot COAX and erection from a man..because I am one of the most caring women you could meet..and have actaully
been a catalyst for diabetic...supposed E.D.penises and 73 yr old penises to come to life...and even if they didn't ... it did not matter.

The thread was to address the siutation where...this info has been lied about..concealed..omitted or selfishly thought of as NOT important  to me WHEN I HAVE STATED IT IS..
SO where as it was not important before it is to me it is now..
and it is what I WANT NOW.
.I do not care to nurse a penis along anymore or cater to men's egos...or ot put a man's sexual dynamics 1st..( * this may sound like a bitch but been there..done that..and with men I loved)

MY reaction has always been of love care and that
IT DID Not MATTER..

I have a preference now FOR AN erection IN MY LIFE WITH A whole man attached of course..
and really resent aprox 4 situationsl lately where their KINK
came first..their needs and the fact that I indicated I had a high sex drive and liked ...bluntly "HARD COCK" did not matter to them.

AS WELL...the erection part is important to me around the BDSM activity..to see IT in certain situation and what I do with it and about it

 
It would be the same as going with a man who loved sex and then saying on into the relationship.
".oh by the way..my va jaja is sewn shut"
(* and I don't need to hear I have a mouth and ass..I already know that we can be creative..)
 
 
I have enjoyed the posts here and the life situations of men with E.D. and how they function in their life with it.
 
I however still want cock.( I lived with 2 men for 20+ years and part of my life is lovemaking 5+ times a day)
It just me..
 
GM


_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 9:42:08 AM   
youngsubgeoff


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GM,
It could also be caused if theres any meds they are on, or if theres a problem your not seeing.

Case in point, as most of you know Im a recovering cocain adict. When I was on the powder, I couldent get an errection to save my life.

Any way you slice it though, I highly doubt its you

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 4:29:08 PM   
DavanKael


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While willing to be understanding of an issue that help was desired and could be achieved for, the "worthless piece of flesh" would most likely send me heading or the hills.  I like men.  I like cocks.  I like men who like their cocks. 
I am a bt surprised that I haven't seen much talk on this thread about bdsm not being about having actual sex.  I disagree with that assertion but have seen people argue it on CM about a gazillion times. 
  Davan

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 4:36:23 PM   
PolyVinyl


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Funny story, I'm a type I diabetic!

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 5:05:23 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
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Master Cord - thank you very much for sharing your perspective.

GM - to stick with the question at hand. I don't think it's *as much* the subject, as it is your frustration with the timing of communication. I read down to the last page of the thread and heard loud and clear that *penis functionality is of high importance to you* at this time.

When I read your strong words, I thought to myself..."no pressure there". :)

But emotional/intimate reaction/perception aside, let's again focus on the communication issue. As Lady P stated communication about conditions are a two-way street. I don't think being proactive in the area of communication is exclusively dominant or submissive, but if someone needs to take the reins on this one, I'd be looking at the Dominant partner.

Penis functionality - people (obviously) have a variety of views on the definition and importance. When I was single, at first I used to ask if someone was *married*? After several poor outcomes, several weeks into the 'getting to know you stage',  I changed my question to, "Do you have any emotionally or physically intimate partners that believe your relationship with them is exclusive?"  I expanded my definition when asking the question, to improve the outcome of similar perceptions of the answer.

You can research the answer to this question in stages....after all, as the Domme, you make the rules. You cover the subject by casual conversation, but then there are these lovely 'assignment' option/tools we have at our disposal. Use the power of photography......if he's shy, you have some fun humiliation energy, and if he's like a good number of men, he'll be more than happy to 'pose' for a self portrait.

Ask and then VERIFY. It's the best way not to be disappointed. After all, we are all responsible for our own happiness.

As MasterCord's post proved, it's not about needing to lie about something, but the uncertainty in timing of communication that can be a huge part of the equation.


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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 5:25:21 PM   
PeonForHer


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I've heard that when a man's taken in the ass, he'll be turned on, may well be in utter subspace - but won't have a hard-on.  A gay man I once spoke, who said that he was always the 'recipient' in sex, said he often didn't have a hard-on when he was 'receiving'.  Maybe there is something fundamental about being submissive, male, turned on, but not hard . . . .

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/17/2009 10:38:11 PM   
PhoenixRed


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Ah, Peon, that's not always the case. It may be for some. Whether it be by cyberskin or flesh, a number of the men I know can get hard, remain hard, and even cum while being taken or "receiving". So, as with most generalizaitons....true for some not true for others.

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/18/2009 2:55:11 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist

Both roles and genders have a certain percentage of people drawn to power exchange as a way to hide/misdirect their sexual abnormalities. Whether abnormal low or non existent sex drives, sexual dysfunction or mental issues causing certain aversions, these people whether to duplicate intimacy many people receive through sex and sexuality and/or the misguided thought of power exchange will hide this unlike more common types of relationships dynamics.

I have seen this mostly in my personal experiences from men who desire things like long term chastity and to be cuckolded and women who think calling themselves dominant will allow them to find a man that will not require sexual things from them.

But I believe that this group as a whole is a pretty darn small minority and think in your circumstances the odds are you are the only proving the exception to the rule unfortunately and finding men with issues.



Agreed. I once had a 36 yr old boy with this problem. He pursued me for a long time but I held back because of our significant difference in kinks. I'm not so much into cuckholding as I'm finding I'm enjoying monogamy with the right man more than polyamory. But that's *me* and that's a whole other topic. But he had originally agreed to put his cuckhold fetish aside in order to see the potential between us.

He was a good looking man, big and strong, healthy lifestyle. However, when we played, I noticed that his bits wouldn't get very hard and when they did, it wouldn't be very long. Now I personally want a boy who's there to fulfill my every pleasure, I would even push it and say that I've come to think of my boy as a stud boy. But for this particular boy, when his cock wouldn't work, he would go to that place saying that his cock wasn't worthy of me, that I intimidated him, that I should probably not use it and find a better one...

Like the OP, I'm looking for a boy who services me when I want and how I want. But I'm also not an incentive bitch. I was truly concerned as this is not normal for such a young, healthy man. When we out of "play" mode, I sat down and gently talked to him about this, saying he might want to talk to a doctor about it. He looked overwhelmed. Needless to say, he ended things not soon after stating that he really needed someone who understood his kink better. Fine.

A year later, I ran into him at a business function of all places (gotta love when this happens). After a while, we stepped away to talk and he told me that he finally went to see that doctor who said that for some reason, he simply had in layman's terms bad wiring which made it that he apparently never was able to get full erections. Now that he found Cialis, he was a new man and definitely wanted to use his cock. He had a whole new kink now, that his Mistress keep the Cialis under lock and key and decide when he would be used.

Oh boy! Some boys really want to make it all about their dicks, huh? Ha ha! But in all honesty, I'm happy for him that he got things checked out because it could have been worse. But the point of all this is that I think kccuckoldmist has quite astutely pointed out that often times (and not always) kinks are influenced by these disabilities.

- LA

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RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/18/2009 3:02:10 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

I've heard that when a man's taken in the ass, he'll be turned on, may well be in utter subspace


Absolutely not true across the board. It is all about the mind set. I'm not sure if these are the right words to express this, but I see it as some are passively turned on by it, some actively.

Let me give you a similar example.

Some boys are hard as a rock the whole time they perform oral sex because the whole scenario turns them on that much whereas some boys go limp while they are performing oral sex because they are focussing on their partner and forget all about their own desires. Neither is right or wrong. Though you can have a lot of fun playing with this, making him do the opposite of what comes naturally to them.

- LA

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/18/2009 4:30:46 PM   
stripmymanhood


Posts: 124
Joined: 9/27/2007
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my own personal experience is like this....i don't get hard when being taken anally...that is true of either a strap on or the flesh and blood kind of penis...now...if i'm in 69 with a flesh and blood kind of penis....then yes...i find i get very hard...it's one of the rare times i enjoy receiving oral sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

I've heard that when a man's taken in the ass, he'll be turned on, may well be in utter subspace


Absolutely not true across the board. It is all about the mind set. I'm not sure if these are the right words to express this, but I see it as some are passively turned on by it, some actively.

Let me give you a similar example.

Some boys are hard as a rock the whole time they perform oral sex because the whole scenario turns them on that much whereas some boys go limp while they are performing oral sex because they are focussing on their partner and forget all about their own desires. Neither is right or wrong. Though you can have a lot of fun playing with this, making him do the opposite of what comes naturally to them.

- LA


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/19/2009 7:26:44 PM   
mysteryshopper


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If they're young and in relatively good shape I'd say it's more likely psychological.   I don't mean this as an insult to YOU, but perhaps he's interested in kink play that doesn't include sex.  Maybe he keeps his sex life and his kink life seperate? 

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/21/2009 9:39:21 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mysteryshopper

If they're young and in relatively good shape I'd say it's more likely psychological.   

Maybe he keeps his sex life and his kink life seperate? 


Post 12 indicates and clarifies..again..that I know all the whys of these  MANY MEN..and  it is also clear I am sexual....
 
 
My thread is to address lying..omitting..manipulating to avoid talking about dysfunction ...knowing full well I want this..
 
GM
 
 
 


_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: a FUNC or DYSFUNC PENIS - 11/21/2009 3:42:06 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
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From: The Asylum
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GM,

Straight answer, its embarassing. Social pressures say that a man should be ready to go, anywhere, any time, and its looked at as a loss of manhood if your unable to get an errection.

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You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)
Profile   Post #: 40
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