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tiggerspoohbear -> RE: I Admit It I........ (12/29/2012 9:52:05 AM)
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I admit thanks to everyone who sent me the hugs, good thoughts, and prayers.
I admit a special thanks to Needles, my dad won't admit to having a problem with his memory, and I sure as shit am NOT the one to whom he'll listen for getting his arse in gear and making an appt there.
I admit he did call me last night, he still insists I tried to force him to sign a piece of paper saying I wanted all his possessions when he passed. I was finally able to make him understand that the pieces I really want are sentimental to me and have no monetary value. The watch he rec'd from the city bus company when he retired (he said heyyy I'm still wearing it, I laughed and said I know that, I don't want it now bejeeeebus). At least he got it. I also asked that I be left his grandfather's pocket watch that hasn't worked in the 50 yrs I've been around. But it would be the only thing I would have from his side of the family.
I admit we got through a lot of stuff, I know I came on strong about some, but after talking to his sister yesterday for 2 hrs in the afternoon, and 90 min with his g/f last night, I'm seeing that there's a change in me that isn't good in the least. The psychiatrist has been cutting back on my meds, and this just isn't working. But until it was pointed out to me, I didn't realize it because it's been so long since I've backslid into that deep dark hole I hate so much.
I admit I'm now having problems with my landlady's son, the front of the house isn't being cleared of snow because THEY had a falling out and she's having to evict him & his g/f since neither work, they're not paying the rent, $750 for a 3 bedroom apt with a very comfortable sitting room to boot. He doesn't realize everything his mom was doing for him. He's apparently also trying to make me move by being noisy at all hours of the night and day, but that doesn't bother me because if I'm sleeping I don't hear a thing.
I admit I finally had to break down and buy a shovel. there's well over 2 feet of snow and I was able to clear a spot for my car, sort of, but it's aggravating an already much swollen lower back, so I can only do so much at a time.
I admit this is a lousy way to end the year, all around. I certainly hope for everyone else and me also that things turn around in the new year and we find the peace, or whatever it is we're looking for.
I admit I'd have been lost yesterday if it hadn't been for my aunt, my dad's g/f, a great FB friend, my friend from 3rd grade and of course all the people here who were so nice and understanding to me. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. [:)]
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