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Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:39:08 PM

devilishpixie

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Today I took my son to get his physical and his flu shot. He saw his new doctor for the first time. My son is 11 and autistic, he does't have that trigger that says "you're full". So food is an on going stuggle for him and for me. As a mother it is hard to deny him more when he says he is hungry. Although I have gotten better at it. I realized today that he is almost 50 lbs over weight. This is my fault. He is a child and this is on me as his mother. They had to do blood work because diabeties runs in my family like wild fire plus the doctor wants to do a test on his liver because of his weight. He was such a trooper between giving blood and getting shops today. He didn't even flintch. But truthfully, I feel so helpless. I have my own issues with food and excersize and it's obvious they have bleed over to my son. It's really hard because he is autistic there aren't many sports activities locally for him to participate in, his balance or lack of it makes riding a normal bike impossible, and he has such a short attention span. I want to help him, but other than changing his diet (which I have done) I dont know what else to do.

Tonight he wanted to watch a movie in my room so I tried to encourage him to ride my excersize bike while he watch it. It turned into a huge battle. He told me I was going to jail (it's what he says when he is upset with you) then ran out of my room and slammed the door and sat on his bed rocking for 25 minutes. His doctor wants to see him again in 2 mths and wants to him to have lost a minimum of 5 pounds by then.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:42:59 PM

mnottertail

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celery, vegetables.........walk with him, to go get mail and whatnot, over to the store, or get a bike and go bikeriding with him, stuff like that

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:45:06 PM

devilishpixie

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He can't ride a bike. I do make him walk with me but that obviously isn't enough Ron. I've looked into sports and after school programs but because he is autistic its nearly impossible to find stuff like that for him. Even his p.e teacher struggles to get him to stay focused.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:46:15 PM

DemonKia

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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The number one tactic is to replace any & all snacking materials with only healthy, low-cal options -- lots of fresh fruit if he's got a sweet tooth, & veggies & low sodium whole grain crackers & that kinda stuff. Low fat plain yogurt on chopped fresh fruit. Use low-fat cottage cheese for a dip for the veggies & a spread on the crackers.

Eliminate most of the candy-cookies-cakes-pies-ice-cream & etc, for all of you. Make them special treats, maybe once a week, or once a month, that kinda thing . . . . . & one way of thinking about that one has been: either I tackle doing it voluntarily, now, or diabetes is gonna make me, some day, whether I'm ready or not . . . . . . (Family history, & all that . .. . )

I'll add more if I think of stuff . . . . . . Hope this helps some.

Oh, & slow, gradual changes always work best for me . ... .

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:50:40 PM

mnottertail

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how about tae kwon do, they do alot of work with special kids, does Nubi take him weight lifting?

5 or 6 very small meals a day.......potatoes, out------pasta out, brown rice in.........(gotta figure his calories expended (minimal) and minimal calories he can take in, even if you gotta give him vitamins.

can you afford one of those sit down 4 wheel bikes or the three wheel bikes with the big basket in back?

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:54:48 PM

devilishpixie

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Ron, I tried the local martial art places (all of them in the past yr in fact) and they all said they were not set up to take a student with his special needs. It's hard for NM to do weights with him since we dont live together at this point but his p.e. teacher did say he liked the weight room and the swimming pool but it's getting to cold for the pool now.

Kia,
I typically don't buy alot of sweets b/c of my own stuggle with them. He eats alot of fruit but now his doctor says I have to watch that as well because of his risk of diabeties.

< Message edited by devilishpixie -- 11/11/2009 2:55:25 PM >

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 2:57:30 PM

mnottertail

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Well, do they have a YMCA or other youth organization> big brother whatever and find someone who will teach him weights and other things?

gotta check your profile for a mo, brb with some more

OK, looks like you are in a nice woods, can you go out walking in the woods and hiking and you are not going to like this but, buy a book on dog training, and read it, find ways to make the kid win, set it up, yanno, like instead of fighting about the exercycle, you make him a treat if he does it for oh........start with 10 minutes, and that sort of thing, you gotta coach him and be excited and animated when he does what needs doing.......

are you getting what I am intending in what I am saying? dont take umbrage at it.

can the martial arts places put him in a kids class if you train right along beside him so that you can help them help him? try that out on them.

You got a indoor pool at a community center, a Y?? FAMILY POOL NITE!!!

Do you get him to vaccuum and clean his room? get rid of the TV!!!!! If he is not exercising now, it isnt going to take much to lose 5 pounds to exercise now

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/11/2009 3:10:50 PM >

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:11:36 PM

devilishpixie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, do they have a YMCA or other youth organization> big brother whatever and find someone who will teach him weights and other things?

gotta check your profile for a mo, brb with some more

OK, looks like you are in a nice woods, can you go out walking in the woods and hiking and you are not going to like this but, buy a book on dog training, and read it, find ways to make the kid win, set it up, yanno, like instead of fighting about the exercycle, you make him a treat if he does it for oh........start with 10 minutes, and that sort of thing, you gotta coach him and be excited and animated when he does what needs doing.......

are you getting what I am intending in what I am saying? dont take umbrage at it.

can the martial arts places put him in a kids class if you train right along beside him so that you can help them help him? try that out on them.

You got a indoor pool at a community center, a Y?? FAMILY POOL NITE!!!Ron

Oh the rewards thing might work that is how we get him to do his reading is by rewarding him with computer time both me and his teacher at school.

His dad took him to the pool over the summer at his gym and I think they have an indoor pool but he only sees his dad once every 3 wks so that doesn't really help. And the gym is really expensive. I am going to talk to his p.e. teacher and see if he has any ideas. They have a great repor.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:13:32 PM

subtlebutterfly

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Read an article about this.. unfortunately it aint in english but I found it awesome.
anyway..weightlifting, martial arts, swimming, track and field, gymnastics and other individual sports...but I think you(or a coach) need to do the practices with him and get him into a routine that way....and have a clear structure and goal (you probably know that already but just felt like stating it out)
there has to be special needs program out there somewhere..

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 11/11/2009 3:15:21 PM >

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:13:55 PM

mnottertail

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maybe the pe teach will have open gym on weekends or after school, and he can go there and lift weights, do they have a swim team? risk reward, actions consequences, he has to pay pounds for his pleasures, it is the same program you are on, and we ALL WANT HIM TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:19:52 PM

barelynangel

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Hi Devilishpixie,

I don't know much about autism but i did a search. the first one i believe is care givers in your area who specialize in special needs. You may be able to contact them and see if they can consult with you on the best way to introduce physical fitness into his life that will help him want to do it. Your doctors and school doesn't have any information for you on this issue as the articles i found thereafter seem to understand this is an issue with autism?

http://www.care.com/special-needs-abingdon-md-p1049-q99733.html

http://www.palaestra.com/autism.html

http://www.fitcommerce.com/Blueprint/Movement-Matters---Bringing-Fitness-into-the-Lives-of-Children-with-Autism-Spectrum-Disorder_page.aspx?pageId=806&tabIndex=5

http://www.autismfitness.com/

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:20:15 PM

windchymes

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Sorry, but a genetic tendency to be overweight is just that, and all the "dieting" in the world isn't going to change his basic body type. I speak with experience here....I had two sons, less than two years apart, so they were together constantly. EXACT same diet, EXACT same activity level. One had a very lean physique, like his father, and the other, lucky kid, got my heavier body type. Even today, as men in their mid-20's, the lean one is still the athletic-type, and the other one is laid-back and husky.

I know it's really, really hard, but making a big deal about his diet is only going to frustrate him and knock down his self-esteem. I agree that "healthy" eating should always be encouraged, but in a tactful way. He knows he's overweight, and he doesn't need to be constantly reminded that he's an inferior human being because he carries extra weight. Therefore, have fruits and veggies handy and easily accessible, and make it pleasureable to eat them, and eat them with him. And let him have an OCCASIONAL treat if the rest of the family does. Find low-fat recipes to make for the whole family. In other words, don't single him out because he's overweight. Everyone can participate in "good health".

If he doesn't have the "I'm full" gene, then limit the amount of food available. Make only enough so that each person gets a reasonable portion, and when it's gone, it's gone. Also, there's nothing wrong with potatoes and pasta....it's the butter, gravy, cheese, bacon, sausage, etc. that we have with them that are what make them bad for you. Once again, it's about portion control. No one needs to eat a 1/2 gallon of mashed potatoes at one sitting, a 1/2 cup or so is plenty, just increase the veggie portions to fill up.

Switch to skim or 1% milk. Buy low fat or fat-free dairy products. Pre-measure things like cereal into plastic baggies so he eats just one portion. Buy lean deli meats, not fatty stuff like bologna and salami. And bypass the cookie and potato chip aisle, as well as the soda pop aisle. Just keep the stuff out of the house, and he won't be tempted.

What about a Wii Fit for the whole family?

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:23:01 PM

devilishpixie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Hi Devilishpixie,

I don't know much about autism but i did a search. the first one i believe is care givers in your area who specialize in special needs. You may be able to contact them and see if they can consult with you on the best way to introduce physical fitness into his life that will help him want to do it. Your doctors and school doesn't have any information for you on this issue as the articles i found thereafter seem to understand this is an issue with autism?

http://www.care.com/special-needs-abingdon-md-p1049-q99733.html

http://www.palaestra.com/autism.html

http://www.fitcommerce.com/Blueprint/Movement-Matters---Bringing-Fitness-into-the-Lives-of-Children-with-Autism-Spectrum-Disorder_page.aspx?pageId=806&tabIndex=5

http://www.autismfitness.com/

From what i have been told by his doctors and teachers it is pretty typical of autistic children not to have that triggger.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:30:28 PM

devilishpixie

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windchymes,
I have actually thought about the Wii Fit he loves vidoe games. So that might be a real option depending on the price of the system and the games.

We don't do chips, or candy, and things like cakes and pies are rare. I switched from ground beef to turkey meat a few months ago and pork bacon to turkey bacon. I always have fresh fruit around and canned fruit. He loves fruits but i have to be aware of the natural sugar in it as well. I buy 2% milk his doctor told me to switch to skim today. So I will do that.

I would NEVER make his weight and issue infact I have tried to make the changes in my eating habit one we do across the board so we are all eatin healthier but today I feel like its a to little to late. I'm scared the doctors going to call me and tell me he has liver problems or his sugar level is off.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:32:38 PM

mnottertail

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how about like dancing, can you get him music and he can sorta dance away to it? HOw about you guys joining a step aeroebic (I know that spelling is fucked up, but cant do a damn thing about it) class?

Judo folks are kinda more readily acceptable of special needs too. And Judo is a fuckin workout.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/11/2009 3:33:37 PM >

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:34:48 PM

LaTigresse

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I think, and I could be wrong, but the more fun you make the activities, the higher the probability of them getting done. Even for myself, if I am not enjoying it, chances are it's not going to get done. If the only exercise I could get was on a piece of equipment, I would not exercise.

So, I go hiking, walk and people watch (aka check out hot college chicks), ride.......do things I really enjoy that gives me the exercise I need. Hell, get him a paper route and go with him. I used to do that with my kids.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:40:16 PM

DemonKia

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FR, after continuing read thru

That's too bad about the sweets, cuz that woulda been a quick easy boost to the situation, as much as such is possible . . .. .

From the little you've given us about what you're doing already about his diet & exercise, & how he copes with that, I'm kinda stuck offering general advice . .. . . & guessing.

So, I hazard a guess that you need to train him to a lifestyle of eating & exercising in a way that fits his abilities & desires & that helps him maintain a healthful body size . . . . .

So, veggies have relatively few calories (& loads of nutrients) relative to their volume. If he has relatively little appetite control then he's gonna need to snack almost entirely on veggies, pretty much plain. Long gradual change is the goal, but you the adults are the ones in charge of what food he lays hands on. You're going to need to re-train his appetite to living on carrot sticks & celery & jicama & bell pepper strips & maybe green onions (someday, if not now, the palate changes with age) & tender snap peas & cherry tomatoes & wedges of iceberg lettuce & . . . . . Get adventuresome about finding different veggies to try out, figure out which ones he likes.

Towards the exercise end, start looking for anything & everything that he likes that involves him moving his body. Small trampoline. Music may not work for him, autism frequently effects how people respond to music, but if there is music he likes, start dancing to it yourself. Eventually he'll probably join you, especially if you can just make it an effortless part of your life. Play with toys with him, rolling cars around on the floor, for example, & use the play to lead him around in lots of movement. Get into the fun of it. If you romp about with him it will be fun & good for both of you, independent of the exercise thing.

I used to take mine to the park, usually some kinda playground thing, at least once a day, for an hour or two. It was a safety valve thing where they worked off a lot of energy & were easier to manage, & it greatly boosted our over-all fun & happiness quotients. Chico's got dozens of different little playgrounds, about half connected to a school & the rest of the neighborhood / municipal variety. I became a connoisseur . . . . . .

Two of the most crucial components to teaching him to integrate physical activity into his life are (a) pleasurable activities, finding 'em, cultivating 'em; & (b) you gotta do it. You have to be the demonstration model. He'll do what you do, especially if you enjoy doing it. & it will be virtually impossible for you to change his behavior to less-sedentary if you're being more sedentary, or at least that's my experience about this stuff.

My experience as a parent was that children, in general, do best with clear, straight-forward stuff. 'We all exercise, we all do active things, lots of it together', is a very clear message & standard. 'You exercise but I don't' is a really troubling sell, in my experience. & the little experience I have of being around children with autism spectra stuff is that they need those clear consistent frameworks even more so . . . ..

Similar thinking applies to the diet changes . . . . . .

But of course, your son & you are the best experts on him, so if this still isn't helpful perhaps you can share more about your particulars . . . . . .

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:41:02 PM

windchymes

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Well, fortunately, the shopping season is pretty much here, so the Wii Fit's should be going on sale, and if not before Christmas, I bet they'll drop drastically after Christmas! :)

Fruits like melons ( bad time of year, I know, lol) have less sugar than other fruits, especially watermelon. Canned fruit is kinda bad.....way more sugar, not to mention the syrup it comes in. Fresh fruit like apples is much better because he has to work at eating them, all that crunching and chewing.

It's never too late, sweetie....and it's unlikely he has liver problems at his young age. The doctor's probably just being cautious. Even if he only loses a pound or two a month, that's something. What about music and dancing around the room like crazy people? To fun songs he might like, like "Whip It" or "Who Let The Dogs Out?" A half hour of that a day would be a great aerobic workout.

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:46:05 PM

DragonLadysFire

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Wii fit is great because you only need a 2-5 min attention span to play the games.
The lack of hunger trigger is VERY common, I get crackers/nuts/veggies/etc. and put them in individual serving sizes with Ziplocs (Kix is a great slightly sweet cereal I eat for a treat). If I don't I can and will eat myself sick.
I have Autism too it takes a lot of little tricks to get by day to day.
Feel free to PM me.

< Message edited by DragonLadysFire -- 11/11/2009 4:00:21 PM >

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RE: Seeking advice to help my UM... - 11/11/2009 3:54:18 PM

CalifChick

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Have you upped his water intake? I tell my kids that sometimes when we think we're hungry, we're actually thirsty.

Cali

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