quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

I'm sorry to hear you've had unpleasant experiences. However, in most cases there's an element of responsibility on both sides of the fence. As would be partners we must accept ownership for our decisions and the ideas we allow to occupy space in our head. You've bought into the fallacy that one manner of relating is somehow superior due to the suggestion that certain traits are absent, which is idealistic at best. The philosophy you're relating to is only of merit if both parties subscribe to it. Before you can ascertain if this is correct or not you need to spend time getting to know the other person.

I would also suggest that you have a much needed heart to heart with yourself to determine what you're projecting. I sincerely believe our mindset at a given time will influence the kind of people we draw to us. If you discover a pattern exists and you keep involving yourself with untrustworthy persons you need to be honest. Are you really being misled or merely have an inability to accept what is true or perhaps tell yourself otherwise?

Finally, there's a big difference between being victimized and behaving as a victim. Find out which one applies to you. Until you have released all the negative baggage you're carrying about these experiences you're cheating yourself and a would be partner out of the very exchange you profess a desire to engage in. Real submission starts at home.

Best of luck.

~porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: dvote2U

We all know that this lifestyle draws all types of people.  i think that what always was so attractive about it to me was that the relationship between a Dominant and submissive is so rooted in honesty that there is no room nor need for falsehoods or distrust.