Underumam
Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline
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Well OP- there are many of us men who make good catches running around out there who are both kinky and not. I believe that BOTH genders have undergone some dramatic changes over the last 20-30 years, and what used to reveal itself in clearly demarcated lines between so-called real manhood and true womanhood has long since been compromised and become a "grey area" (for lack of a better term), due primarily to the fact that we no longer live in tribal-savage type communities that required men to function as men, and women to function as women. Many women work outside the home and are good at what they do, while many men have been relegated to the role of house dad due to economic necessity, and are flourishing as well. Or pehaps both assume slightly more non-traditional roles as the requirements of would dictate. The "kink" many of us have come to love/need is merely a manifestation of our new roles.
I personally, classify myself as a man who is submissive to my woman in whatever ways she needs me to be, yet am far from submissive to others in my day to day life. I actually prefer/need to express myself sexually to her by being her little bitch at times, yet I also need to express as a so-called real man at other times. It's about being flexible and keeping the air of excitement alive over an extended period of time that will add to our long-term happiness as a couple. Too many fail to understand/validate the dynamic and look at kink as some temporary fantasy form. I function the best in an FLR because it's truly how I believe live is meant to be lived. Not much of anything happens in/around the home without the females approval,(I see this this even in Dom/sub relationships), and men need to respect this fact, as well as understand that SHE is the one who most often has the ability to to make decisions based on what's truly best for everyone in the family unit.. On the other hand, I won't function well with a foolish woman who is just out for herself and has no consideration for anyone's feelings but her own.. lol.
Deep inside most all males of integrity lies a desire to serve, honor and protect the females in his life. We need to submit to Her, and have her approval/encouragement- it's how we are created for the most part. Females are vastly more intuitive and have a finer, more sublime power that expresses itself through the way they do things. Us males "appear" to be the stronger, more coarse activity, but this is only an illusion that was once rooted in physical survival needs. (It was not females who started writing "tear in my beer" songs.) In reality, females do much better without us, than we do without them, yet for some strange reason, not many ever equate this to strength. .......
Whether dominant or submissive, should a man not open doors, rub tired shoulders, nurture, love and protect the females entrusted to him in life and vice-versa? And should not this be a two way street in which BOTH genders truly want the best for each other? Life is difficult for all of us, and I personally feel that being together as a couple in whatever form it takes- is something to be treasured and protected at all costs by everyone involved. Many never reach the TRUEST levels of compatibility because they can't be completely honest with each other/ themselves. This requires much soul-searching and a level of intimacy between a man and woman that many seem very frightened of these days.
No matter what ones prefernce for sexual expression might be(kink or vanilla), most men are still men, and women are still women- as such, both are subject to the natural orders of nature, and when we don't alighn ourself with and respect it, we get crushed. It's as simple as that. lol.
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Submissive but not kinky - a catch or a dud? - 
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