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Oxymorons - 11/24/2009 12:07:18 AM

Aanakaris

Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

O x y m o r o n s

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball-game" when we're already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

_____________________________

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-- Dr. Seuss

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RE: Oxymorons - 11/26/2009 7:23:31 PM

fuerzadeldestino

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/25/2009
Status: offline

that is really funny, thanks for the laugh.

(in reply to Aanakaris)

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RE: Oxymorons - 11/27/2009 2:05:11 PM

rockspider

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

1 Female logic
2 Military inteligence

(in reply to fuerzadeldestino)

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RE: Oxymorons - 11/27/2009 4:47:54 PM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Couldn't resist...
donning pedant hat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

O x y m o r o n s

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
.... used to needle a Westinghouse engineer by repeatedly mentioning that the only thing that Westinghouse makes that doesn't suck is their vacuum cleaners.

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
... he only wrote the first "American" dictionary

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
... a "whack" is what you give something with a hammer when it runs out so it will start working again

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
... old teamster reference, slow up was to pull the reins and slow the horses on the wagon. slow down was to apply the brake so the cart would not start slewing ahead of the team on a steep downgrade

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
... tugboats pull ships and ocean going barges. They only push river barges and only pusher modified tugboats.

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
... because they are built to stand people up in the air to see better. As opposed to everyone sitting on the ground.

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
... "after full dark" was defined in medieval times after the point you could no longer tell a white thread from a black one.

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
... because pantaloons (panties is a shortened version) originally came in two pieces which were tied to the belt. brasier, singular, is meant to cover the breast.. please note, "breast" is the upper forward portion of the torso. "breast" only has a plural if one is talking of more than one creature

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
.... it does

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
.... because it contained a set of receivers for both audio and video