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Aswad -> RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate disrespect (12/26/2009 5:10:50 AM)
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Kevin,
You don't need to be a lady to understand this one.
It means that if your first PM to them consists of saying "get down and suck mah cock, biatch!!!" ... well... you're not going to be scoring any points. Last time my An got one of those, she noted that, as impressive as a member spanning the Atlantic Ocean might be, it would still be less than tempting, and suggested he might autofellate instead.
Regardless of how someone identifies on the boards, and even regardless of what might pass for a dynamic at a later point in time, any prospective partner needs to know that you realize there's a living, breathing person on the other end, and that you have some idea of how to relate to other human beings. Whatever might be said in the heat of passion, you aren't talking to a collection of body parts. A certain standard of civility and default mutual respect is needed to engage in conversation, and conversation is a necessary prelude to initiating a relationship.
In short, the phrase indicates that the person writing it has witnessed several epic failures to demonstrate any awareness of these issues, and is fed up with it. As an aside, it doesn't do any good, since the dimwits won't be dissuaded anyway, and the better catches might be a bit taken aback in their initial reading, seeing as a personals ad is essentially a message from you to the people looking for you. Still, there are ways to put it, and ways not to put it. If I see a civilly put note on what is and is not desired in initial correspondence, I simply heed it. If I see a rude outburst about it, I instead file this person away under "go cry, emo kid," and move on. Sometimes, form is function.
As a final note, switches may experience additional rudeness from people who are unable to conceive of the idea that a person might actually enjoy a bit of variety without compromising their orientation. That may or may not be what one is referencing with such a statement, but the point is moot: maintain a decent standard of communication throughout and do not approach anyone you can't respect, and you will have satisfied their request either way, and be better off for it.
Health,
al-Aswad.
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