Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (Full Version)

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painsluttim -> Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/3/2009 11:27:03 PM)

i have been on this site for a while and have searched my entire area for the right match and haven't been able to find one that fits yet.  i'm looking for a LTR with a Domme, is that realistic these days? Also how does my profile look? Input from Dommes would be helpful.

Thank You in advance,
tim



GreedyTop -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/3/2009 11:36:28 PM)

Get out into the community: munches/events etc., as well as using internet services.  



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 11:29:57 AM)

For awhile? Two months?

Some folks take years... I have been on the hunt for a new dominant for my own sub (one that can be the gf, too) and I am amazed at how hard it is to find someone! I am surrounded by dominant female friends, but the compatibility thing is a real problem. The only solution that is practical is to get out and meet as many people as possible, REGARDLESS of orientation. Get out, make friends, and establish yourself as a decent guy. You never know who your new friends might know.



lizi -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 11:49:12 AM)

I'm not a Domme but in response to your profile question - do you have any pictures of yourself that are not fetish type pics? You mentioned several hobbies, how about an informal pic of you engaging in something that you like to do? I consider using something that is not you almost naked for your main profile pic.

Your profile has a lot of good personal information in it about yourself and what you can bring to a relationship and about what you are looking for. I like it that your interest list has sexual and non sexual items listed in it. I thought the profile on the whole was good. I'd fix the formatting problems in it though, it was hard to read for that reason.



Drifa -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 3:05:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I'm not a Domme but in response to your profile question - do you have any pictures of yourself that are not fetish type pics?


I agree, that pose is doing nothing for you. It emphasizes that you are pale and makes your tummy look bigger than it probably is.  What I don't often see from a male sub is something both gentlemanly and subtle - maybe wearing slacks, an oxford shirt and a tie, with the sleeves rolled one turn to reveal the leather cuffs at the wrist. Or rent a tux and go to Glamour Shots and have an elegant picture taken with your head bowed. Be more creative and more dressed.

Guys, remember that unlike men, most women don't have the same reactions from seeing visual pornography or nudity. Culturally, the Western world has published pictures of nude or skin-exposed men only in health/body building or non-hetero directed magazines. Exposure of male nudity is usually framed around an athleticized narrative in which the body is strong and powerful.

There are some good articles out there discussing presenting images of men that are erotic in a way that is attractive to women. And if you're willing to wade through academic studies, check the scholarship regarding "male gaze" vs. "female gaze" and its representation in visual art.







CougarStud -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 3:30:04 PM)

Drifa,

I agree with you completely on the photo ideas. And your links were great.  That picture of Cary Grant is a suit and tie with a tray holding a glass of water was so sexy!



Underumam -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 4:13:08 PM)

The pics on Purve seemed to be all focused on the "pretty people", with hard bodies. Kinda Barbie and Ken-ish to me.



CarrieO -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 4:15:42 PM)

First thing...you joined exactly one month ago and you call this "a while"?  If you're relying on CM to find a domme you're going to need a lot more patience than that.

Second...wayyyyy too many kink photos.  Like Drifa said, "unlike men, most women don't have the same reactions from seeing visual pornography or nudity".  While this may not be true for all women, you need to keep it in mind and offer something more, dare I say...'nilla.  Please be sure to take the time to look at the links she provided, they were quite nice and could be very helpful.

Third...I find it less than appealing to see someone list being an expert in so many things, regardless of how many years you may have invested in that learning.  Is it really necessary to list being an expert in anything but computers? 

You mention "local BDSM community" as a live for, I'm surprised you haven't met a woman that fits your criteria within this community.  You may need to expand your search...after getting some decent photos [;)]



Underumam -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 4:16:45 PM)

oops.



GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/4/2009 4:20:58 PM)

[quote]ORIGINAL: painsluttim

haven't been able to find one that fits yet.  i'm looking for a LTR with a Domme, is that realistic these days?
[/quote]

Sure it is realistic but your time line and "how-to" may not be..
BEFORE LTR comes meeting...getting to know...sharing commalities..chemistry..
desires..styles..daily life...compatability..bumps in the road....then BUILDING...
 
ANY relationship...takes TIME...
The only dif in open BDSM relating is that often the kink is out on the table right away...
so the icing flavour is known before the cake is made..
 
GM
 



painsluttim -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/5/2009 9:08:08 AM)

Thank you all for the great advice!

i just updated my profile and changed my primary pic to a tux pic and put the relationship stuff before the kink stuff in the body of my profile so how does it look now?

tim



lizi -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (12/5/2009 11:12:38 AM)

I had a quick look and I do like the new picture better- the other was not flattering. I must say though....do you have a picture where you are smiling? Or can you have someone take one? I like to see someone smiling and it usually casts a person's features in a better light when they are. When you get some time Drifa had some bang up suggestions for the picture thing.

Also...am I the only one who keeps getting hung up on the bad formatting in your profile? It bugs me. There are line breaks where there shouldn't be any. Please go through it and eliminate the faulty spacing.

Other than those two things I like your profile. I like that you write about what you can offer, what you are looking for, your hobbies outside of BDSM, and what BSDM activities you are interested in. I'd say just go through the whole thing a bit more (fix the formatting!) and maybe shorten it a bit. It works better if what you have to say is more easily digested. Dommes get a lot of mail and they end up reading a lot- it would behoove you to get all of your important stuff across in as little space as possible since they may not stick around to read the whole thing.



trancespottingpl -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (3/15/2013 6:58:39 PM)

I'm looking for the same thing... I have had the fortune though where the past two girl's I've dated were both like Mistresses/Dommes as well as my girlfriends.. I've been single a while though now and it seems much harder for some reason..
The first girl I dated for about 2 years and she was into the BDSM thing but the 2nd one I introduced her into it.. She absolutely LOVED foot worship and forcing me to eat her out which is like my two favorite things... So needless to say our sex life was great and we had a lot in common.. However, she was the type of girl that cheated out of the thrill of it (I found this out from her friends, previous bfs, and her current one whom she also cheated on) even if she loves the guy and everything. So we broke up but yeah... I do miss coming home to my gf and doing BDSM stuff with her.. it was def nice..



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (3/15/2013 10:38:39 PM)

Necro Thread!!!!
This thread is over three years old, for crying out loud!!!

NBMG



peppermint -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (3/15/2013 10:58:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Necro Thread!!!!
This thread is over three years old, for crying out loud!!!

NBMG


Thanks for picking that up, NBMG. I was wondering how he could have only joined recently when his join date was 09.  I thought I was going a bit nuts.  Ended up being a matter of too tired to figure it all out. 



VideoAdminChi -> RE: Finding a LTR with a Domme/Mistress (3/16/2013 6:34:29 AM)

FR, This thread has been locked. Please do not post on threads on which the last post is more than three months old.



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