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Why children - 12/6/2009 3:25:45 AM

sweetmommaslave

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Hello
Not sure this is the place but I am assuming there are many Masters here that may have different reasons or truly know the answer.

Why is that lately the first or only question asked lately is if I have kids and they need to be part of this lifestyle? this is kinda freaky to me cause i don't invite my children to my bedroom for sex so why bring them into the life?

RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 3:34:30 AM

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Probably due to your username I would think :)

(in reply to sweetmommaslave)

RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 4:53:55 AM

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Hello there, OP, and welcome to collarme!

There are two possible answers to your question:

The first is that you state in your profile that you're looking for complete service, and your username implies that you have children. So the natural question is, how will children fit into the dynamic you envision?

The second is that your username implies that you have children, and your profile makes it clear that you are new. A pederast might be attracted to that...

If I were you, I'd change my username.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 4:54:45 AM

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You have the word momma in your username. That's gonna attract the more freakier of us freaks.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 7:17:43 AM

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Unfortunately there are a great many criminals in this world. If you mention that you have offspring, you attract monsters. If you don't mention it until later, you get told you're a liar.

About all you can do is report them to the site. Unless you have an outside email from them, at which point I'd report them to the FBI.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 8:43:54 AM

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One thing that occurs to me is that it is hard to be "24/7" with sprogs hanging on the apron strings. They tend to notice things like their mum being naked and sitting at the male of households feet.

Of course, if you aren't anticipating a 24/7 situation, then all you need is a good baby sitter.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 10:14:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetmommaslave

Hello
Not sure this is the place but I am assuming there are many Masters here that may have different reasons or truly know the answer.

Why is that lately the first or only question asked lately is if I have kids and they need to be part of this lifestyle? this is kinda freaky to me cause i don't invite my children to my bedroom for sex so why bring them into the life?

As others have expressed, they may be under the impression that you're looking for more than bedroom play so are wondering how you intend to balance that with kids. I know I would ask, if in that situation, because some people have very level, good heads about how to have the kids knowing or not and to what extent depending on their ages and lifestyle while others are wholly unrealistic/unhealthy about it.

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(in reply to sweetmommaslave)

RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 11:53:47 AM

lizi

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I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here and agree that I think it's your username. People can and do quite often put that which they identify most strongly with as their username so it's right out in front. Someone into toilet slavery might have a username of toiletslv4u, or someone looking for a Daddy Dom may use yrlttlprincess. You unwittingly chose something that isn't actually your 'thing'.

I agree with DS, change the username and if that's not possible with the account then just start a new profile. Not sure how it works to change the name or if you can do it or how to do it. If you can't change the name and have to start over with a new profile maybe in the old one you could make a notation that you switched over to using whatever the new name is for personal reasons and if anyone is looking for you to look on the new one. Then leave the old one up for a bit before closing it out. Just a thought...

< Message edited by lizi -- 12/6/2009 11:57:10 AM >

(in reply to sweetmommaslave)

RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 11:59:28 AM

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Your profile mentions that you want a relationship that is "as equal as a Daddy/sub can be". This implies, of course, that it doesnt end at the bedroom door. You might not invite your kids in to watch the sex, but if you want a relationship that is still inherently inequal with you as the sub, your kids are going to see that. Dominants have every right to know what level of involvment the children will have, and what level of control he will have over you as a result of having them there. If you are just looking for something kinky and in the bedroom, you might want to make that more clear. Actually, more clarity as to what you are looking for might help.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 12:23:19 PM

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I am going to assume the question isn't nearly as sinister as it sounds. If you have children and you plan on living in a full time D/s manner, they are going to notice. You don't have to invite them to your bedroom for them to witness what your relationship is with each other. My children would probably tell you that my relationship with my husband is one where we are mostly equal, but where I run things even when it seems like he is doing so. We are not D/s at all, but they can still tell you what they dynamics are and how we relate to each other based solely on observation. They know the final decision for most things in my household rests with me. They will see a huge shift in this when my household merges with my partner this spring/summer. They will quickly realize that the final say for a great many things will rest with my partner. I will likely be the final word because I am their mother, but it will be the words of the decision my partner has reached.

The point is that your children will see the big picture whether you want them to or not. The men likely want to know how much control you are really willing to cede when it comes to the raising of your children and how much you are willing to have them exposed to. These are reasonable questions and concerns and may change things for any given prospective dominant.

Sure, it could be something like a bunch of men flocking to you in the hopes of molesting your children, but I somehow doubt it. As with anything involving your children, you will have to take an extra portion of caution. Take a good long time geting to know someone. You may even want to submit them to a criminal background check simply due to ensuring the safety of your children. Just be careful and use your smarts.

lovingpet

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 12:34:12 PM

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I am going to agree with lovingpet here, in that yes, I suppose there are plenty of freaky pervs out there who are asking for wildly innapropriate motives.

But aside from them, most of us over the age of 30 have baggage- ex-spouses, children of various ages. I usually ask fairly early in a conversation about these things. Its obviously important if you are considering a life together, what sort of household one can expect.

Maybe just ask your potential suitors why they ask- the pervs will out themselves fairly quickly.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 2:06:26 PM

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I'm wondering how long this thread will last.

K.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 2:08:35 PM

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a) "Momma" wonders why men ask if she has kids.....?
b) This thread will be deleted.

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RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 2:15:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetmommaslave

Hello
Not sure this is the place but I am assuming there are many Masters here that may have different reasons or truly know the answer.

Why is that lately the first or only question asked lately is if I have kids and they need to be part of this lifestyle? this is kinda freaky to me cause i don't invite my children to my bedroom for sex so why bring them into the life?

I personally wouldn't take it as them trying to involve your children in your kink b/c i have had vanilla men ask me if i have children and I have asked vanilla men if they have children. It is a natural question to ask in todays day and age. Some people simply do not want to get into a relationship with someone with children.

(in reply to sweetmommaslave)

RE: Why children - 12/6/2009 2:41:17 PM

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quote:

...Why is that lately the first or only question asked lately is if I have kids and they need to be part of this lifestyle?...

there's a good possiblility that they are referreing to a D/s dynamic (alternative relationship) that would be potentially witnessed...in other words, NOT a conventional relationship between two equal individuals...that has nothing to do with what goes on behind closed bedroom doors.

it doesn't inherently mean they are pedophiles...since a lot of single folks are parents these days and making junior the center of their universe, therefore being overly concerned about what exactly they expose junior to, it doesn't seem unreasonable.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/6/2009 2:42:35 PM >

(in reply to sweetmommaslave)

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