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The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/3/2004 8:33:09 AM

Posts: 40
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline

Greetings a/all

I just wanted to say that, as a Domme and looking for a r/t situation, there are certain things I expect.

subs when you contact me and have specific requests about how you want to be dressed and what toys you want, please be prepared to provide them, and yes, I do want to pick them out. also, please realize that I expect to be compensated for My time with gifts or money, it could be flowers, or a movie, not hundreds of dollars, but realize that if you expect to be dressed in a leather outfit and have no items already, that you must be willing to buy them.

also, I am not a hooker, do not think you can make demands on Me touching you in order to get your money. I am not intrested in getting you off for your hundred dollars, thank you very much!

Blah! okay enough with the bitching!

DDG

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/3/2004 8:37:22 AM

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Joined: 8/14/2004
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to clarify this, I am talking about potential subs, not anyone r/t who is already My personal submissive. and who wants to have specific toys which are not already in My possesion.

DDG

(in reply to DarkDeadGirrrl)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/3/2004 9:14:17 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I know women who have worked as hookers. It doesn't sound all that different to me. How do you think it's different? They don't always have sex either. They provide a sexual service. I think the only difference is in the name/ title. More of a snob factor than anything else.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to DarkDeadGirrrl)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/3/2004 11:32:31 PM

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Joined: 9/2/2004
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Well, I have a question for you from the other side of the fence - female enslavement. Female slaves *usually* give up everything, including their jobs, and become financially dependent on their Masters. How is that really so different from having a sub pay for your services as a femdom? I'd say, to the sub, the latter seems like much less of a financial loss.

(in reply to Laura)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/4/2004 7:32:53 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I'd call that my marriage. I moved to another country to be with him as he required. (He wouldn't consider moving here). Then I could not find work, could not even get a bloody call back from anyone in that redneck hick small town). I was isolated and completely dependent on him. It became an abusive marriage. I lost control but not by consent.

I see what you meant. But I don't see enslavement by choice as on par with bought and paid sexual services. In my case I chose to marry and move for him. If a woman chooses to become a slave she can choose to stay that way or change her life and leave. It's not a temporary business arrangement like a Domme or a hooker and her client.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to mistshadow2k4)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/4/2004 8:05:41 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

quote:

Greetings a/all

I just wanted to say that, as a Domme and looking for a r/t situation, there are certain things I expect.

subs when you contact me and have specific requests about how you want to be dressed and what toys you want, please be prepared to provide them, and yes, I do want to pick them out. also, please realize that I expect to be compensated for My time with gifts or money, it could be flowers, or a movie, not hundreds of dollars, but realize that if you expect to be dressed in a leather outfit and have no items already, that you must be willing to buy them.

also, I am not a hooker, do not think you can make demands on Me touching you in order to get your money. I am not intrested in getting you off for your hundred dollars, thank you very much!

Blah! okay enough with the bitching!

So DDG, you're saying that the difference between a Domme and hooker is that real Domme's only accept "gifts" not cash? *shakes head* Please clarify this for me.

Because the way I look at it, if a submissive comes to me and has "demands" of how, what and etc is that he wants to be dominated, he's a client and he will pay for that "service". Why should I supply the toys I already may have on hand to fulfill his fantasies? My toy "investment" is high, why should I use my $150 strap on on his ass? Just because I already have it? Sorry I fail to see your logic or rationale on this one.

Flowers and candy do not a tribute for my time, imagination, creativity, expertise and toy expenses make. Especially for a "do me" submissive... such as the one you described here. Just curious.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to DarkDeadGirrrl)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/4/2004 8:42:36 PM

cbtok

Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

One could draw a conclusion here that DarkDeadGirrrl is saying that professional Dommes are hookers.

Both services have an important function in society but one tends to be illegal while the other is absolutely legal (and tends to be preyed upon in certain municipalities as if it were illegal).

From what i gather from DarkDeadGirrrl's message, She feels underappreciated and that is another matter entirely. Perhaps in an interview, She might consider being more clear about Her expectations from a gentleman caller. One would expect time with a gentleman to be worthwhile, fun and leading to the desire for more time spent. Certainly, someone who claims to be one such ought to expect to assist a Lady in the creative pursuit of happiness.

In my mind, that means a gentleman picks up the bill, smiles sweetly and thanks the Lady for consenting to dine with him.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/5/2004 8:01:20 AM

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

In my mind, that means a gentleman picks up the bill, smiles sweetly and thanks the Lady for consenting to dine with him.

Any man who doesn't.. is simply not a gentleman, and not worth my time. Doesn't matter if it is at McDonalds, or the Country Club. Chivalry will go far.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to cbtok)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/5/2004 3:18:33 PM

Posts: 40
Joined: 8/14/2004
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shakes head

Maybe I did not express Myself well enough so I shall try again.
I am not a hooker, I am a Domme. and I am NOT saying that Dommes are hookers, I am saying they are NOT hookers!! I am saying that if a "do me" sub comes to me, as a client, and wants Me to use certain items on him, then it is up to him to provide them. (or to give the money to Me to purchase those items) I had a person contact Me in the past 2 days, saying that he wanted to be trained, then started talking about wanting to be feminized with a leather outfit, wig, heels, ect along with toys such as a strap on that he wants used, he was completely shocked when I told him that he would have to purchase the items. I was willing to do the shopping but it will be 3 hours drive time (not shopping, just driving) for me to get the needed items. Do I expect compensation for My time? yes.
his next statement was that he would pay Me 20.00 to smoke a cigarette then kiss and feel him. are you kidding? hell no! I told him that I would smoke for him for $100.00 (sorry I am a non smoker) and use him as an ash tray if that was his desire but that is it.
I do not sell sexual services. What I do with My personal subs has nothing to do with what I will do for a client.
The comment about money was in the fact that I do expect gifts, not just cash from a sub. Sorry for the confusion, I have nothing against Pro Dommes. I have done it Myself and may start doing it more often. My point was that if anyone thinks they can get laid for 100.00, look on the streets, not here.

DDG

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/6/2004 8:12:15 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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Ms. DDG, I totally agree with your point of view. D/s is about mutual pleasure and if one partner wants a pleasure the other does not really want, then perhaps that partner should pay.

(in reply to DarkDeadGirrrl)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/6/2004 8:30:47 PM

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Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline

I don't get why it is still considered "gentlemanly" for a man to pay in a Domme/sub relationship. It is probably considered gentlemanly and polite for a Dom to pay for his female sub. Why is there an expectation that a female sub will be paid for by their Dominant whence dining and a male sub will not? Isn't that sort of a double standard?

(in reply to venomator)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/6/2004 8:32:12 PM

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Joined: 8/2/2004
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I will add that I do get your point about indulging a kink that doesn't get you off. That's a different story altogether re: paying for stuff, giving gifts, etc.

(in reply to MistressJada)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/7/2004 7:13:24 AM

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

venom,

You're right....D/s and BDSM is about mutual pleasure. But it is up to me to define what pleases me, not my sub's. (Whether client or personal)

So often I am approached by subs who wish to dictate for me what gratification I should receive from our scene. They come to me with specific fantasies or scenarios they wish to explore or experience. Sometimes they squawk when I explain I am willing to create that for them in exchange for a tribute. They complain that granting their fantasy should be MY FANTASY....because afterall they are offering themselves to me. They claim to be here for "my pleasure".

Though I have fun with everything I do.....professionally and personally....my needs, wants and pleasures are my own to define and aquire. I find it quite telling when a boy goes on and on about what he wants to get from me...yet barks when I expect him to actually GIVE something outside his fantasy. LOL

I am not a life support for a whip, a public utility, or a SUBMISSIVE. I am a Domme, Dominatrix, Misstress, Domina and Goddess. If a boy is truly here to please me, he will please me as "I" dictate I wish to be pleased....regardless if he gets off doing it. His service or gestures are then REWARDED with the things he enjoys.

Most ProDommes I know (including myself) did not start with a mission to become a ProDomme. Instead we grew tired of being USED as masturbation fodder by boys who's service disposition evaporated as soon as their itch got scratched. Boys who would then vanish until they needed scratching again. We learned to define what we wanted and expect it up front.

After being burned a few hundred times by boys claiming they wanted a personal relationship, only to use me to get their jollies, I instituted the policy of : All my relationships begin on a professional basis. Those who disagree or took offense were dismissed from consideration. Of those that remained, we would start professionally and see if there was the potential for more.

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to venomator)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/8/2004 12:10:24 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It is still a practice in other countried not industrialized
to go to a Dr to be stimulated to cum when the Dr
deciedes that it is needed by either a Man or Woman
whom is not getting such * action* in their current
life and they are payed for this service. Would this
make the Dr.s Hookers as well?

There is a differance between a person, man or woman
whom sell their body spacifically for monitary gain with sex and
a person whom practices an alternate skill that one can
hire to experiance that has no sexual beginning in thought.JMO

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/8/2004 6:55:36 AM

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

It is still a practice in other countried not industrialized
to go to a Dr to be stimulated to cum when the Dr
deciedes that it is needed by either a Man or Woman
whom is not getting such * action* in their current
life and they are payed for this service.

Damn, i've gotta get a new health insurance plan!

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/11/2004 2:08:05 PM

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Most ProDommes I know (including myself) did not start with a mission to become a ProDomme. Instead we grew tired of being USED as masturbation fodder by boys who's service disposition evaporated as soon as their itch got scratched. Boys who would then vanish until they needed scratching again. We learned to define what we wanted and expect it up front.

After being burned a few hundred times by boys claiming they wanted a personal relationship, only to use me to get their jollies, I instituted the policy of : All my relationships begin on a professional basis. Those who disagree or took offense were dismissed from consideration. Of those that remained, we would start professionally and see if there was the potential for more.

Well put, Ms Sandi

(in reply to sting516)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/11/2004 6:58:37 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

Sandi

Responding to UtahGoddess, i just have to say that not all Women have had bad experiences with men, who for one reason or another. "love 'em and leave 'em). There are many generous, polite, men in the world who would appreciate the privilege of bringing pleasure and happiness to a Woman without the thought of self-gratification.

Having nothing against the profession, it needs to be stated as such. Some who are unwilling to admit to being a professional, but perhaps are in reality, start out expecting some sort of tribute in the beginning. But there are few professionals that will entertain the possibility of a relationship with a client -- unless there is something special going on -- some sort of connection, perhaps. Whether it be financial, physical and/or emotional, it is still a requirement for a personal relationship, date, or play-party companion.

No Woman wants to be used and then discarded...only to be contacted again when a man's sexual urge returns. i suppose that most men (especially immature ones) play this sort of game, and often get away with it. And it never ceases to amaze me why some Women accept them back as though nothing bad ever happened. i define this behavior as spousal or non-spousal abuse; and the woman in this scenario is co-dependent, because she hopes she can change him. But the harsh reality is that she will never change him.

In the final analysis, it's all about the ability to make rational and intelligent choices about potential partners, and not just accept those who might be sexually-attractive, have a great line of bull, or even an array of platinum credit cards.

If one has been hurt or offended by such behavor, then it will undoubtedly become ingraned in the minds of the Women who have experiences it. In any event, resentment for previous abuse doesn't just go away. Even though it may get filed in one's mind under "miscellaneous," it still has the capacity of rearing it's ugly head when things don't necessarly go right in a healthy relationship.

In a professional relationship, it is not only the right of the submissive to request a particular scene, but a duty to do so. This is especially important when dealing with an unfamiliar client and their needs. But within the confines of a personal relationship, the submissve or slave is there to do the bidding of the Mistress. He may or may not be allowed sexual gratification, but it is not his choice. His main object is to please and satisfy his Mistress selflessly.

Submissively,

philip

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/13/2004 12:50:14 AM

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

phillip,

I agree there are some wonderful and selfless men in the world. Men are often devoted, loyal, noble and generous. I think every woman should have at least two.

I love men. I just won't sub to one. (And that extends to NOT allowing him to define what form my gratification may take.)

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to addicted2it)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/13/2004 5:44:22 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

I know many people who work in the sex industry in a variety of jobs. Being a hooker is just that and there are many variations on the "oldest profession". There's streetwalkers, call girls and party girls. And there's snob factors between them. I know pros that brag they have never had to sleep with strangers, who just have sex with "friends" and get taken to dinner and then get cash, etc. Lifestyle dommes demanding tribute is more akin to wives or mistresses who expect to be supported financially. Philosophically it may be no difference than prostitution... early suffragettes argued against marriage for just that reason. But personally, snob factor aside... the reasons for having multiple words is to describe differences not similarities.

not a hooker either, just play one on TV

(in reply to Laura)

RE: The diffrence between a Domme and a hooker - 9/13/2004 10:57:49 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/15/2004
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I started out in the lifestyle as a submissive. After 8 years I realized that I was unsaticfied by Dom's because I knew more then They did. Before you attack that let Me clairify that those Whom knew better then me were not offering a collar.They were already "set" in the subbie Dept.
So I switched.
I am not a Professional by anyone's standard. I am trying to imagine though what I would have thought of a Dom who when asked, said, "Sure lil one. First W/we will go to a toy store and hardware store. Oh and, bring your checkbook."

There is obviously a double standard for Doms and Dommes and Who is expected to pay for what. I have had alot of contacts from subs and slaves and one of the first things they do is try to impress me with what they have. Sort of, "Here Domme, Domme, i have caaaannnndy..." lol
If I do nothing at all with these poor souls, I try to make them understand that there are Women who will love them before they get a bank statement.
Perchance this makes Me the oddball of the group, but if it goes far enough for them to get to My bedroom? W/we both pay for the goodies that go with U/us. At least in My mind, that is the difference between a hooker and a Domina.

Alisad

(in reply to goddess97440)

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