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whipthatass -> doctors (12/15/2009 8:16:18 PM)
Im a dom in southern Indiana and am wondreing if ther are any doctors that are in the life style if any of my slave is to get sick or hurt or even just need a check up I woulike to be able to take them ato a doctor that wnot go calling thye cops if he se's marks on their ass Im south west of Indy in Indiana

DarkSteven -> RE: doctors (12/15/2009 8:31:11 PM)
If she says "He punished me because I disobeyed," you're in trouble. Teach her to say, "The marks occurred during consensual sexual play," you should be okay. That said, couldn't you quit beating her a week before her checkup?

tsatske -> RE: doctors (12/15/2009 8:40:40 PM)
The easiest way to handle this is exactly what I do, everytime I need to find a new doctor. I talk about the lifestyle on my first visit. I don't give them more of a lesson than they need - unless they are your banker, they don't need to know if she does or does not turn her paycheck over to you. but I give them all the information they may need. My most basic line is something like this: 'We need to talk about my sexual prefrence. I am active in the BDSM or Leather lifestyle, where I am a bottom. (Or, I am in a consentual power exchange relationship). For this reason, I may sometimes come in with marks on me, such as bruises or welts, that are the result of consentual sex play. If you ever have any questions I will always be happy to answer them. Will this be a problem?' All my doctors, because they practice in group practices where I might sometimes see another group member, have asked permission to make a note to that effect on my chart, and I encourage it. it is easier to belive that I just like rough sex when I mention it while you are not worried about me, then when i don't mention it till you are seeing me all bruised up. I am a big believer in always telling all doctors anything that they might concievably need to know. When I go to a dentist the first time, I always tell them I am a childhood sexual survivor. Why? Well, it goes something like this: Let's see, you want to strap me down, tip me into a reclining position, get two inches from my face, hold my mouth open forcebly, gag me and cause me pain. On the OFF chance that this might trigger a flash back, if I signal you to move out of my face, I want you to FUCKING MOVE! If the dentist can't handle that spiel, I seek another providor. Back on topic, wouldn't you rather your doctor make faces and make it obvious he is uncomfortable with your life choices while he has nothing to report, so you can just go and find another doctor? People are amazed by what I tell doctors. I am a diabetic, and I tell my peditrist that I choose to wear heels. Why do people lie to doctors? I have never gotten that concept.

whipthatass -> RE: doctors (12/15/2009 8:42:55 PM)
still though there are going to be some doctors that will ask questions if you go in with a black and blie ass and a collar on that can't be taken off

tsatske -> RE: doctors (12/15/2009 8:49:53 PM)
I wore a padlocked collar during my most recent relationship. I had to be hospitalized, and the nurses grumbled, and i told them when they asked everyone else to remove their wedding rings, we'd talk. OTOH, during that relationship,the collar came off twice. I was arrested for a minor traffic violation, and I had to be hospitalized for my mental illness. I grumbled a lot, but there was no way around either. And, in truth, both were reasonable. Unlike a comfy hospital where you lie in bed and work the remote all day waiting for the meal trays to arrive, both a jail and a psche ward are places where you mingle with other, highly unpredictable, sometimes violent people. My collar was a sturdy thing that could have been used to choke me. those are reasonable rules, and, also, rules that we couldn't get around. My Master provided both places with the key and the collar was removed until my release - a few hours in one case, more than a week in the other. I had bruises when I was arrested. If I had been stripped searched, I would have said, 'they are the result of consentual sex play'. fortunately, in my state, a year or so before myarrest, a police dept had lost a court case over strip searching a woman arrested on a minor traffic violation, so i was not strip searched, thank the lord for small favors.

LafayetteLady -> RE: doctors (12/15/2009 11:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whipthatass still though there are going to be some doctors that will ask questions if you go in with a black and blie ass and a collar on that can't be taken off It is a doctor's JOB to ask questions regarding their patient's health and well being. As was already suggested to you, inform the doctor of the lifestyle choices on the first visit which ideally should be a check up, which means control yourself and don't leave any bruises until the doctor's appointment is over and things have been appropriately explained to the doctor. Like it or not, you are not going to be permitted to stay in the room and watch, since you apparently won't be legally married, so your slave is going to have to explain this all on her own. As for the collar, it isn't something that CAN'T be taken off, it is something you don't WANT taken off. On that first visit, remove it for the short period of the appointment so that the discussion can be had in a way that doesn't cause the doctor to think it is anything BUT a consensual relationship.

Elizabeth666 -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 1:56:00 AM)
Besides explaining the lifestyle to a doctor, I tend to think most are pretty smart and can tell if someone is lying to cover something up. If she is open and honest with the doctor from the start, I would imagine he would be less apt to think that she is in a physicaly abusive relationship. I'm sure most doctors have come across an abused woman a time or two in their careers and know the signs and tells of an abused woman and someone who engages in something consentualy

LadyPact -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 2:41:25 AM)
Agreed. Doctors and other folks in the medical field have seen and heard darn near everything. You're not going to surprise them by informing them. In My opinion, you are better off doing so.

tsatske -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 6:30:57 AM)
I only disagree with removing the collar for the fist visit. It is easier to point to the thing and say 'it comes off about as often as a wedding ring', then to say 'I have this piece of jewlry I wear, which I never take off, well, I'm not wearing it now...' My last collar was a piece of chain with a padlock and 90% of the vanilla world reacted to it as a piece of jewlry. I did once have this whole 'first visit' discussion while I had marks on me. It was a referal to a specialist I was going to end up seeing for a while. I gave my same speil to an English was not his first language but very nice man and competent doctor. When he said 'what do you mean by marks?' I repeated, 'well, like welts or bruises'. He said, 'He hit you, like with a belt or something?' and I thought, 'uh-oh, this is going south', but I remained upbeat and open as simply said, 'Yes. it is consentual. I enjoy it. I have somewelts on my bottom and legs right now...' at which point he jumped up with an excited grin and said, 'oh! let me see! let me see!' He was equally enthusiatice about my explanation of polly, LOL. (THAT got me called 'VERY SMART American woman'! LOL)

tsatske -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 6:53:27 AM)
Also, on the jewlry thing - remember, the vanilla world is aquainted with body mod jewlry, which is also jewlry that never comes off - though it would for jail, surgery, ect. just like a collar. In my last relaitonship I also wore slave ells which had no fastner. they were welded on, and come off only every other FUCKING day when the cheap ass things fell apart. The rest of the time, they did not come off. I worked in child care. I called them 'gypsy bells' in vanilla situations, explained they were body mod jewlry, just like a toe ring would be, and told my boss if she found the noise offensive, I could tuck them in my sock to muffle them. No boss ever had a problem with them, and the children loved them. Most of what we do passes fine, as long as we WANT it to pass. I want to live my life as I see fit and I don't want to be in peoples face about MY life choices. I decide how much info people need with that need of mine as the guideline. In my second marriage I refered to our BDSM munch as our 'Marriage encounter monthly group' and our polly munch as our 'young marrieds group', both terms that my fundie family could readily identify with.

angelikaJ -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 7:09:27 AM)
FR to the OP Do you attend munches? You might ask some of the other people there. Also there are kink aware professionals which are listed here: http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=75

mnottertail -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 10:01:21 AM)
Ja, a couple things, gleaned from a rather nefarious life: Never lie to your doctor, never withold information. Not fucking ever. Rarely lie to your necktie (a euphemism for lawyer), and only really lie if you actually did do what you were accused of. But make it simple, close to the truth, and plausible. Alphonso Caponis

tsatske -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 3:13:44 PM)
In other words, mnottertail, don't pay good money to lie to someone. makes sense to me.

kiwisub12 -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 4:52:12 PM)
Something that people forget about doctors is that you pay their salary. You make their house payment, and their car payment and their kids braces. Since they are providing a service tht you pay for, they owe you value for money. And the first thing they owe you is respect. You don't need to be intimidated by a doctor. Trust me , they put their pants on one leg at a time, just as you do. They may have more education than you, but they aren't better than you. So when you go to see a doctor, tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You owe it to them, and yourself. How can they treat you if you haven't been honest because of embarassment. That would be like not telling your car mechanic about an odd noise because you were embarassed that you had left it for so long. [:)]

LafayetteLady -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 7:12:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske I only disagree with removing the collar for the fist visit. It is easier to point to the thing and say 'it comes off about as often as a wedding ring', then to say 'I have this piece of jewlry I wear, which I never take off, well, I'm not wearing it now...' My last collar was a piece of chain with a padlock and 90% of the vanilla world reacted to it as a piece of jewlry. While you are talking about something that sounds very attractive, my mind was thinking of something larger, bulkier and that might possibly interfere with any part of the examination. In other words, if you have this 2" wide leather and metal band around your neck, it could be a problem. Not the sight of it, but the inability for the doctor to properly examine you. I didn't mean it to sound as though it would be something offensive to see prior to the explanation.

whis31 -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 7:22:58 PM)
OP are you looking for a doc on the South side of Indy? Wondering because I live north and would recommend my own doc if you don't mind a little bit of a drive. I have a mid 30/40's female doc who tasks everything in stride. Contact me by cmail if you would like her name and number. OP I should have checked how far south of Indy you were. I live well over and hour from your location.

whipthatass -> RE: doctors (12/16/2009 7:57:57 PM)
right now Im in Terre Haute but as far as to be far away I would like to relocate

allthatjaz -> RE: doctors (12/19/2009 2:51:14 PM)
From your original question it seems your asking for any scene doctors to declare they are doctors to the scene just in case a sub gets hurt? Doctors are unlikely to do that. I mean I'm a lawyer but I tell nobody [;)]

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