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RE: Defining yourself - 3/20/2006 6:04:04 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Eeeeek... I see CM made changes again last night.
Let me see if I can get this right.

Darkangel... you said... the only definition that matters, , is the one he desires and decides?
Why is it all because you are owned, you can't define who you are?

This is what I was refering to about some thinking all because they're owned they can't think for themselves. They can't have an opinion of their own unless it meets owners approval... <shakes head> Not directed at you Darkangel.. just in general


Off topic...... I hope our Australian friends are safe.. here that storm hit there.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/20/2006 6:05:39 AM >

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Defining yourself - 3/20/2006 10:26:02 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		(Hmm, i'm going to try this "Fast Reply" feature which won't leave the bottom of my screen.  Never tried it before and don't much "get it.")

True, for me, i do define who i am - a snapshot of me as of today.  He defines the overall picture of what he would like me to be, and his goal for me becomes my own goal.  He checks in with me regularly to see where my head is.  In fact i joke to him about what has become my "quarterly report" since every 2-3 months he has me write an essay of exactly who and what i am as i see me, and what it means to me be his slave, and serve him as my Master.  It is his way of A) gauging exactly where i am so that he can know what areas to fine tune or continue molding; and B) requiring me to look into myself and be completely in tune to my own thoughts and feelings, thus knowing myself and understanding what i want. 

If i am traveling in a direction that is contrary to his preference, he turns me around.  But he does so in a way which becomes my own goal.  i want what he wants, therefore i want to go where he wants me, even if difficult or frightening.  If the direction confuses me or is contrary to what i previously wanted, we discuss it at length.  He will dissect exactly what my fears, difficulties, dislikes are and decide from there if it is actually the best thing for me/us, or if he still wants me to change coarses.  If he still wants me to change coarses, he will encourage me with whatever method he feels is best, given the situation.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Defining yourself - 3/20/2006 11:21:17 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		LOL... Owned.. stop being the exception to the rule here..

Obviously sense what SOME others think and do here, you always do opposite... so there for when I personally make a comment.. know I won't at all be refering to you... LOL.. can tell now I need to start my future post with.... WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OWNED... lmao

you're a trip girl!... lmao

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Defining yourself - 3/20/2006 11:26:30 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Pffft.  i just won't reply to your posts then.  :p  (the inserted smiley with its tongue sticking out didn't work)

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Defining yourself - 3/20/2006 11:30:25 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		"I am whatever I say I am..  If I wasn't why would I say I am?" - Eminem.

I am a Dom by nature and possibly inadvertently by nurture.  It is the way I live My life.  I do not desire to take complete control over a woman, although I must admit at times I have thought about it.  I think it would be too much work for Me.  The woman needs to have a certain amount of independence.

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Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to JalisMaster)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Defining yourself - 3/21/2006 4:35:02 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Darkangel... you said... the only definition that matters, , is the one he desires and decides?
Why is it all because you are owned, you can't define who you are?

This is what I was refering to about some thinking all because they're owned they can't think for themselves. They can't have an opinion of their own unless it meets owners approval... <shakes head> Not directed at you Darkangel.. just in general


I know it's not aimed at me directly...*s*...
It isnt about approval.  He doesnt 'approve' anything.  I am shaped by the realtionship.  My point, is that if You are owned, or in a relationship, definitions matter only to the extent of the relationship.  People define what they are when they have a desire to matter.  But if one is secure in a realtionship, what ones definition or label is doesnt matter.  He is he and I am me and what you are to me, doesnt really matter - or at least it shouldnt to you.  My knowing what or who you are isnt relevant unless you -or I- make it so.  Saying - 'I am a submissive' doesnt make it so, or even true - to everyone... therefore, the definition is pointless.  It matters only in the relationship at that moment.
 
You can assume that me saying that I am what He desires and decides is tantamount to not having an opinion or not thinking for myself - but that is nothing more than a myth.  In His teachings, He taught me, it isnt 'just' His will, it is our will, but expressed through Him.  That is the part that requires the most care, that He makes sure that is always so...
 
Peace and Love

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.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Defining yourself - 3/25/2006 8:28:09 AM   
Manawyddan


Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline 		At munches when folks introduce themselves and give their orientations, I say: "Top, and wannabe dom."

I am some years of experience in painplay, and want to make clear that I am using that distinction. On the other hand, while I have a new interest in domination, I have close to no experience in it, and am unsure given my current homelife how I could devote myself properly to developing such a relationship; so I think 'wannabe' is appropriate.

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(in reply to JalisMaster)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Defining yourself - 3/25/2006 2:28:22 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		I have so many layers but if i have to label myself...
 
I am 90% fiesty submissive and 10% Domme. 
 
I am bisexual but 100% submissive with Dommes
 
I have poly tendencies and love to be spoiled.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Defining yourself - 3/25/2006 3:06:05 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I'm an "unnatuaral" dominant.  (smiling)  In my day-to-day life I'm an intensely relational, empathetic, power-sharing person.   

I'm a novice domme, pain giver, psychological sadist and sensualist.  Occasionally I fall into a well of submission.

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Defining yourself - 3/25/2006 3:41:17 PM   
preciousgem


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/13/2005
From: Hazel Park,MI
Status: offline
wow had to think long and hard about this one cause some say i am sub and some will say i am a slave. i like to think of me as a mom,sister,daughter and human frist  what my Master calls me is a subave  ( a word that He made up to help describe what i am )
 
what He ment when He called me that is, i am a slave to Him and Him only. He tells me what He wants me to do( as in tasks around the house or things that need to be done cuase He cant get to them), He controlls how much personal money i get for the week,how much money is spent on bills ( i get no say in this) He aslo tells me what i can wear out when We go out,how long my hair can be,but He also asks my ideas on things what i would like and so forth. to me a slave means that i give every thing i am over to Him with the knowledge that He will always take care of my needs and wants. i answer only to Him for my actions. also it means that i cant say no to Him ( unless it is life-threating to me or Him or Our kids) He asks i jump to do it.With how We are i cant walk away from Him when i am angery or upset. i cant walk away just cause i want out of it, when He placed that collar on my neck and heart ( and We where nilla for alot of Our relationship) i gave every thing i was to Him to hold,to nurture and to mold in what He wants.
 
He also says that i am sub to others cause i have the right to say no if i dont like what they are doing or ask of me. i have the right to walk away when They upset me.
 
when Master and i entered in to BDSM He told me He wanted me to know that He still wanted me to have my own thoughts,feelings,insight,and to be who i was ( mouth and all ) He didnt want a doormat.
 
i am sure if Master sees anything that i missed or stated wrong He will make sure i post again to make my self more clear... oh and a SAM

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i would rather be hated for who i am then loved for who i am not.

jal trik kar Va, ja Vana'she

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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Defining yourself - 3/25/2006 11:11:11 PM   
masterfixer


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline
I difine myself as a sadist, a 24/7 dom,master, husband,father,brother,unkle,son,fucker,not nessesarily in that order.

(in reply to JalisMaster)
Profile   Post #: 91
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