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Christmas Cookier Rules - 12/23/2009 8:52:28 AM

Wolf2Bear

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Joined: 9/6/2009
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Christmas Cookie Rules...

1.      If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2.      If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3.      If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4.      Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5.      Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6.      Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7.      Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. 8.     As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking Causes calorie leakage.

9.      Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories Rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10.     Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule! So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this this time of year!

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Christmas Cookier Rules - 12/23/2009 2:33:56 PM

plsurnpain

Posts: 127
Joined: 8/9/2008
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*applauds*

That made me smile thanks for sharing :)

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

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RE: Christmas Cookier Rules - 12/23/2009 6:26:52 PM

happylittlepet

Posts: 289
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Yes, I ate them all, except the one that I shared, without any guilt whatsoever!

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to plsurnpain)

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RE: Christmas Cookier Rules - 12/26/2009 11:02:05 AM

NightTigress

Posts: 706
Joined: 12/9/2008
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mm cookies, how I love thee

(in reply to happylittlepet)

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