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Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 6:35:04 PM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		My Dom friend and i discussed a 3 some in a scene... either me being the slave while a girlfriend of mine topped me along with Him or my girlfriend being the slave while W/we topped her. Well i have discussed similar scenes with my Mentor/Teacher before which i was very willing (would have been sexual between all 3 of U/us) but this Dom i have emotional feelings for as well as the BDSM so a little jealousy set in. My thoughts of 3 people in a scene are all sexual but He finally explained to me that just because she and He would be topping me it didn't have to be sexual between them. i Naturally thought ALL 3 of us would be sexual together...

My question is --

How many of Y/you have been in scenes where it isn't sexual between everyone involved?


*sighs* i have so much to learn still i guess....

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"
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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 7:35:40 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		I've been in plenty of scenes where there there wasn't any sexual component to them.

~stef

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 7:51:22 PM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		Many of my "scenes" involve no sexuality what so ever, I'd say about half to be honest.

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 8:17:01 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiejenn

How many of Y/you have been in scenes where it isn't sexual between everyone involved?


*sighs* i have so much to learn still i guess....

About 95% of the scenes I am involved in don't involve sex, sensuality, yes .... insertion/penetration ... rarely

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PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 9:52:31 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiejenn
How many of Y/you have been in scenes where it isn't sexual between everyone involved?


For some people, it's inherently sexual. You may be one of those people. Nothing wrong with that.

However, for many of us, there doesn't have to be any kind of sexual component to it at all, and in many cases a sexual energy can even interfere with the scene. I do lots of scenes that are sexual, but I probably do even more that aren't sexual at all, or have sexual energy but no actual "sex" as in insert tab A into slot B.

There are as many ways to do wiitwd as there are people doing it. Find what works for you and don't worry about whether or not it's the same for anyone else.

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-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/4/2004 10:14:32 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

There are as many ways to do wiitwd as there are people doing it. Find what works for you and don't worry about whether or not it's the same for anyone else.

_____________________________

-- Sherri


Very well said and very true!

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PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 3:30:43 AM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		D/s for me is total sensuality. I don't need sex everytime I touch a submissive what I need is their sounds and the visual without reserve. Only this lifestyle gives more to me than it takes. Wicked smile, and I don't have the boring vanilla statement when I am through of having a male say "so was it good for you?" Enjoy the touch, listen to the sounds, trust your Dominant. Sundew

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 4:54:08 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Is it still BDSM if the center piece is ironing?

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 7:17:05 AM   
subdreams1955


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		Because of my current situation, all my scenes are non-sexual.

Sexy, yes. Sensual, yes. But not sexual.

D

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 11:33:15 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Ok Well...
is it only considered sexual if there is insertion?

i mean i have been in scenes where there wasn't any insertion but for me was considered sexual.

Being tied up and canned -- the tears, the emotions, and the kisses for me is all sexual... Would others not consider this sexual?

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 12:51:43 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Slow wicked smile. Hi iwill. Sure it is, at least for a special lady, watching your cute little butt sway with the action of ironing. happy camping!!! Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 1:01:18 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		None of us is saying only insertion is sexual. We are all saying all of BDSM play is sensual. When I walk past a cute little male and smack his ass or rove my eyes over his nude body is it sexual? NO. Now if I took the play to stimulation of me by any means of physical touch by him then it becomes sexual. Going to a seminar to learn new play is sensual, even if I never see the demo slave/submissive face. But it is not sexual. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 3:49:38 PM   
DarkDeadGirrrl


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline 		85% of scenes for Me are not sexual, but all are very erotic.

(in reply to Sundew02)
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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 6:17:59 PM   
MistressJada


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know if it would assuage your jealousy for the scene to be absent sexuality and/or sensuality. I think that pain can sometimes be as emotional or more so than those two things. That's why I would never let another Domme top my slave (although I might enjoy seeing a Dom do it :)). It all depends on what trips your personal jealousy trigger, and you may find that non-sexual things are also a problem with regard to that.

(in reply to subbiejenn)
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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/5/2004 9:21:13 PM   
ScorpioMaster


Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		Every time I play with my slave or the girls in the past I have been sexual charged. What the issue for you is Jealousy seeing another women with your Dom/ man. If you want this to work you need to work through your jealousy so you will not ruin your friendship with the other women. You need to figure out the real issue that is making you jealousy of her being with him. That is one thing that needs to be worked through before your try again. This is only one reason going on or there could be more deeper that that. Good luck with your scene.

< Message edited by ScorpioMaster -- 9/5/2004 9:24:59 PM >

(in reply to subbiejenn)
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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/6/2004 5:03:53 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

You need to figure out the real issue that is making you jealousy of her being with him. That is one thing that needs to be worked through before your try again.

quote:

RE: Scenes that are not sexual?

I think the distingushing between whats a sensual
turn on and whats sexual to you and your Dominant
and third party are what motivates your jealosy
and the best way to work thru this is to in your cooling
down period after a scene discuss with the partys
involved how each one felt during the scene. Just
because you had a sexual feeling to the scene and
it was sensually and emotionally charged for you does
not mean that the other folks in volved with the scene
got the same feelings from the action nor that they
had any sexual feelings towards one another or if they
did you will accept these kinds of feelings from another
not with in the core relationship. Ive noticed subbiejenn
you are still learning and defining what things mean to
you in your Alternate Lifestyle and untill your mind and
heart has a clear definition as to what things are for you,
you will get these confusing feelings and it is totally
normal and will be sumthing that as experiance and
defining of your self becomes more clear and your
BDSM strenths and wants comes out you will be more
at ease and those feelings of jealousy will start to fade
when you realize that other woman around are not a
threat simply because they are in a scene that becomes
sensually or sexually charged for you. Be sure also that
you define in your mind what kind of relationship is
acceptable for you for not all those with in the lifestyle
can or do accept a poly type relationship and you can
totally find that you only will accept a mono type relationship
with in the mechanic of your BDSM Lifestyle which is
allso just fine. Morals do sum times come into Our Lifestyle
and the issues of such are sumthing sum cannot work
thru in the acceptance of anything more then a one on
one experiance. There is nothing wrong with this either
but this is where it is important to talk thru what is
acceptable to you as you discover and not only in your
discovery talk thru your feelings but to also stand firm
on that you have decieded works best to you for your
self definition.

and remember she is NOT * with Him you are. she is
simply an added pleasure for the * BOTH of you that
in the end will not be there.
The Mechanics with in My Alternate Lifestyle were that of a Dom/Dom/Domme/multipleslavesbothgender and in
My 30 plus years of this Family there were litterally
Millions of multiple scene related activitiys that went
on with in Our Home mainly nonsexual. Now even
tho We were all a family and close there was still the
mechanics of more then one human being at any given
time not only a part of the scenes but a part of the
living structure as a whole. Many times when a new
slave was brought into the home that new slave had
issues with a bit of jealousy not feeling secure in their
place with in the home and even when Me and Mine
first brought in a second Dom to Our mechanic the new
Dom and Original Dom set out to establish whom would
sit in the Alpha position and with in that first contact
and working out of such issues had sum jealously
issues that were worked out to a positive end.[ I sure
enjoy thinking back on those times as they were quite
exciting for Me the One gaining both Doms attention in
their levaling out position in relation to My self. I am
sure however neither One of the Doms felt as I did or
was as sensually or sexually stimulated as I was from
such attention. So you see jenn how people will percieve
and feel situations or scenes differently?] jealousy comes
about when you are insecure as to where you stand.
jealousy is not about others but about your own self
and your own inner feelings. once you feel secure in
your values those around you no longer become an
issue because you know your own worth aside from
others and learn to present such to the mechanic of
the structured scenes or relationships for the benifit
of all. JMO

(in reply to ScorpioMaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/6/2004 6:43:33 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline
Just on for a minute, keep losing electric :(( sighs@ hurricanes

Glad to see You posting MistressDread, hope this 2nd hurricane did not get You as bad as 1st one did...

Thanks for all the thoughts from E/everyone...

i am still learning, i haven't had a lot of "real-time" experiences but working on that :) i think a lot of my jealousy dose come from not knowing... This Dom i speak of and i are becoming very close but it’s going slow between the 4 hours between U/us and life (kids). So right now i think for me is a great bit of uncertainty where Him and i are in O/our relationship. With no commitment really hard for me to have "trust" or even know what to "trust" in. Things were brought up about a 3rd being brought in but i don't think it is something that will happen anytime soon, think for me i need more time alone with Him and develop O/our relationship more..

It is good to know these jealousy feelings will go away once i get more settled in my relationship with Him and settled in the lifestyle...


Hearing E/everyone’s ideas and feelings really help me a lot in my learning and developing my own perspective on things... Thanks a lot!
and MisstressDread i have to say i always love reading Your posts, i usually scroll down and read Yours first then go back and read through everything. *smiles*

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/6/2004 7:37:24 AM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		With my prior dom, we played a lot and it was sexual as i was always wet and he was a sadist so he was excited by the activities, but we werent sexual with each other all that much. Since we played privately as opposed to going to clubs or parties the only reason it was not more sexual was that he didnt want it to be.

And i realized after a while i needed it to be sexual at least some of the time more than it was. But thats another topic lol.

Roe

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/6/2004 9:24:26 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		why thankyou jenn for the compliment

Im thru the worst still have a couple feeder bands running thru Our way
as you know the eye came thru by My Home in Highlands county and
I have more wind dammage more roof dammage a broken windshild
on a car and a few more trees down and was with out Our utilities for
the two days it just came on here now but its still on and off and will
be such till tomorrow Im sure but one redeeming thing is that all the
workers frm out of the state whom came here to assist in the utilities
getting up and runnning again were allready here so a hasty fix was
had by Us being all the folks were in place allready to address issues
as they happened. The utilities companys and those folks whom are
here from other states to assist with the emergancy are unreal and
admired by Me. Now We gotta get ready for round three on the horizon
next week if Ian comes a knockin......... dont forget each insurance
filing has to be done seperatly so name your pics accordingly and
call fema and file a request for each hurricane so you have paper work
for each Hurricane and each one has a seperate deductable so keep
those reciepts from each one for EVERYTHING!!! no matter how big or
small your replacement purchase it as they all will go towards your deductable.
even if you have insurance file with fema for there are things that your
insurance might not pay for that fema will or you can gain funds from fema
quicker then your insurance to start those repairs untill insurance kicks in and
dont forget that if you have a morgage, that insurance check has to be sent to
the morgage company first to be signed by them and then they will return it
to you in order to do the work on whats lost. This is where fema is a great help.
and remember to replace and replenish hurricane supplys and ready yourself
for still another whole month and a half of hurricane season still left. JMO
Sorry to get off post here LOL Im still full of adrenilyn...........and on My
way to Tampa now to see what dammage I might have at My Home there and
My Sons Construction Business I passed to them when I retired that Im tending
to while they are at war.
I hope you have your drinking water put aside and also find a 5 gallon bucket
to use in your bathroom as you will not be able to flush probably nor use the
water due to the flooding in the storm area and the sewer will back up if you use
it so dont. The bucket can be taken out the door to a tree area to dump in emergancy
times remember to put all paper products in a garbagecan and not in the bucket.
No shame in My game....~wink~

(in reply to theroebabe)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Scenes that are not sexual? - 9/6/2004 9:51:39 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		i live about hour from Fla. line in southern GA. i can see interstate 95 from my house and travel on it just about anywhere i go because i live in a very small town. i seen thousands of trucks headed to fla. even on friday last week. i've seen many hurricanes hit fla. recently but have never seen so much help ready sitting in empty parking lots or heading already down there, its great to see. (hope they saved some for U/us my power been off and on all night and day LOL my phone been down since last night but the cell is working ) We have been very lucky for a long time being missed by all the hurricanes and only getting outskirts of them.

but i have supplies ready :)

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 20
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