Drifa
Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007 From: Rural Texas Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: IvoryWhore Why is it that every Mistress out there either want's a manly man, a house boy, is a pro-domme, or just want's other females? I know I fall into a niche that men like, but why can't there be ONE Mistress out there who want's someone like me? Every, and I mean EVERY tgirl like myself-MtF-who I have talked with that has been looking for a Mistress as well has come up with zero. <snippage> I am a submissive, but I have some answers and some ideas for you. First, I've dated both MTF and FTM, and had several others as friends. In general, all of the transgendered community folk that I have met have a LOT of psychological baggage that they struggle with throughout their lives. Some people will avoid transgendered folk simply because they are unwilling or unable to support the emotional and psychological needs. This is certainly not to say that some of the T-folk don't have their heads screwed on straight and are models of strength and self-integration, but certainly the perceived image in the LGBT community that I've seen has been the stereotype of T-folk as psychological trainwrecks. There's also some hostility among some gays and lesbians that T-folk as well as bisexuals are "betraying queers everywhere", which is weird and unfair on many levels (I get this because I am bi). Next, when I read your profile, your pics look fairly good, however, you are affecting a very young goth/emo kind of a look, and at 27 you're a little old for that. I am guessing Clinton and Stacy would suggest you go to a more age-appropriate and less "frightening people away" kind of wardrobe (See their episode with Goth Misti). Consider whether your look is saying "I am approachable" or "stay the fuck away from me". A lot of your pics also give that very young, careless and sloppy vibe. Present yourself at your best, and that may mean saving a few pennies and going to Glamor Shots or even the Sears photo department and get pics made that show you looking cool and put-together. Reading onwards in your profile, I clearly get the idea that you're not looking for a mistress or a dominant, but rather it sounds as if you are looking for someone to underwrite your transition. This is asking a lot from someone. If a woman is interested in sissy males, being at this stage in the transformation might attract them, but maybe they don't want to deal with the completed transformed package. Or if someone wanted a female, and there's still male anatomy, that could be a big turn off. And once again, the transition itself is intensive in terms of emotional and psychological effort for the person transitioning - how much of YOU will you have available to put into being someone's sub while you are transitioning? I think the biggest issue here is not that you are transgender. You make it clear you haven't got a reasonable job, you want someone to bankroll your transition, and your fantasies are all focused on your transformation and not kink. I would suggest REALLY thinking hard about this. The problem isn't that you are transgendered, it's that you are a huge fixer-upper project, and not everyone wants to be involved in that. Once you have a relationship established, it may very well be that a prospective partner will be moved to assist you with the transition. But don't let your first impression be you with your hand out hoping someone will pay for your transition. My suggestions for the profile would be to remove all your fantasy stuff about how you hope you will look and the big boobs. Don't be asking people to help bank roll the transition. Do be honest about where you are in the transition, but that shouldn't be the focus of the profile. You might say, "I'm pre-surgical and at the transition stage of taking female hormones now" and leave it at that. Also, nowhere in your profile do you say what service you hope to provide to a dominant. What exactly do you envision your relationship being? What kinds of things do you do when you are not fantasizing about getting big tits? Last point to address is that by saying you are "Actively Seeking Dominant Women, Dominant Men, Submissive Women, Submissive Men, Switch Women, Switch Men, Dominant Trans, Submissive Trans, Dom/Domme Couples, Sub/Sub Couples, Femdom Couples, Male-Dom Couples, Friends Only, Online Romance, Roommates, Joining a Poly Household" you are saying "I am desperate and I just want SOMEONE NOW". THe "need rays" are rolling off of you there. I suspect that you meant this to indicate that you'd welcome friendships with anyone. Instead, pare down the list to what you want -- that you are ACTIVELY SEEKING A DOMINANT WOMAN. Somewhere in the text of your profile, you can mention that you welconme friendships from anyone.
|