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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:05:46 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		your dealing with more than coffee

your dealing with people fundamental sexual urges

oh hell, i just have qualms with just 12 cmails

i'll let it go at that

o and i have exchanged more cmails than that in just a few mins

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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:17:17 PM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

your dealing with people fundamental sexual urges



Just because people here may be more open to sharing these sexual urges doesn't mean that they can't have a civil and polite conversation over coffee.

You run the same risk from any vanilla dating site, too.  Or even from meeting someone in person at the grocery store.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:19:07 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You get sexual urges from drinking coffee?? Wow..wish I could do that! How do you do that??

Seriously though..I get sexual urges only if I find the other person desireable and then I let them know and well...we decide then what to do about those sexual urges.

If one of us gets them and the other doesn't...it's a coffeeshop. Leave. Go home. Be an adult. If you can't control your urges you have deeper problems that need a lot of help before you end up in a prison cell.

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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:19:21 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i prefer not to rush quite so fast, but that's just me

she's an adult

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Dominasola)
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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:21:12 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

your dealing with more than coffee

your dealing with people fundamental sexual urges

oh hell, i just have qualms with just 12 cmails

i'll let it go at that

o and i have exchanged more cmails than that in just a few mins


People have sexual urges
Most people are able to control those sexual urges

I'd much rather meet off the bat and see if there is anything there, than sit behind my screen e-mailing for months and having cmail sex then meeting real life eventually to find it is totally not what i thought.

If i met someone interesting at a munch I would not advise them that i required a month of e-mail contact before we could meet for a drink... I would arrange to meet them reasonably soon. Why should it be any different here as long as people are safe.

Meeting for coffee is just that, a coffee, it is not meeting to pledge undying love and ones immortal soul

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:26:13 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i just offered my opinion as was asked in the op i gave it , it was rejected , so ok

end of story

i can deal with it

now carry on

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to amaidiamond)
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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:29:52 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

But if it's only a hundred miles or so, then I'm thinking if he's comfortable enough to ask me about my nipples, he should be suggesting we get together for coffee or something. Is it reasonable for me to think that if we're getting into this sort of discussion, then we should be at a point where we will consider meeting in person?


She is not asking if it is appropriate after 2 days - she is asking if it is appropriate to want to meet by the time he has started speaking intimatly.

I wouldn't care if a man had been talking to me for 2 days or 20 days - If he wanted to chat about intimate issues with me but was shying away from the idea of coffee if distance was no issue then my warning flags would be flying high.

(in reply to Llyren)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:31:50 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond


quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

But if it's only a hundred miles or so, then I'm thinking if he's comfortable enough to ask me about my nipples, he should be suggesting we get together for coffee or something. Is it reasonable for me to think that if we're getting into this sort of discussion, then we should be at a point where we will consider meeting in person?


She is not asking if it is appropriate after 2 days - she is asking if it is appropriate to want to meet by the time he has started speaking intimatly.

I wouldn't care if a man had been talking to me for 2 days or 20 days - If he wanted to chat about intimate issues with me but was shying away from the idea of coffee if distance was no issue then my warning flags would be flying high.


you just wont let it go will you lololol

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:35:14 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		A forum is a place to discuss things.
Just because you do not like the turn a conversation has taken, does not mean it ends simply because you say so.
I have however read a few of the other threads you have posted on and it appears you intentionaly set out to hijack threads and cause conflict and in this case i will step away, there are already two many threads on these boards gone that way due to your comments.

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RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:36:43 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

A forum is a place to discuss things.
Just because you do not like the turn a conversation has taken, does not mean it ends simply because you say so.
I have however read a few of the other threads you have posted on and it appears you intentionaly set out to hijack threads and cause conflict and in this case i will step away, there are already two many threads on these boards gone that way due to your comments.



what part of " carry on" didn't you understand?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:40:08 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond
I'd much rather meet off the bat and see if there is anything there, than sit behind my screen e-mailing for months and having cmail sex then meeting real life eventually to find it is totally not what i thought.

If i met someone interesting at a munch I would not advise them that i required a month of e-mail contact before we could meet for a drink... I would arrange to meet them reasonably soon. Why should it be any different here as long as people are safe.

Meeting for coffee is just that, a coffee, it is not meeting to pledge undying love and ones immortal soul

I 100% agree with this.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:40:59 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		***edited out because i have hopes to stay on track.



< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 1/1/2010 6:41:24 PM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:41:58 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

***edited out because i have hopes to stay on track.




don't be shy

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:42:10 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond
in this case i will step away, there are already two many threads on these boards gone that way due to your comments.

Just post as though he doesn't exist.  You previous point was well taken, and I wish more people understood it.  99% of life really is about showing up, and showing up for coffee or dinner isn't going to get you killed, even if you really are drinking coffee with Charles Manson.

Please don't let a fool turn you into a mute.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:44:26 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

i just offered my opinion as was asked in the op i gave it , it was rejected , so ok

end of story

i can deal with it

now carry on


post #25

way up there ^

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:46:02 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

A forum is a place to discuss things.
Just because you do not like the turn a conversation has taken, does not mean it ends simply because you say so.
I have however read a few of the other threads you have posted on and it appears you intentionaly set out to hijack threads and cause conflict and in this case i will step away, there are already two many threads on these boards gone that way due to your comments.



what part of " carry on" didn't you understand?


The beauty about message boards is that people have free will, they can continue to discuss the topic within a topic or not as they see fit.  Personally I find it quite relevant to Llyren's initial post.

My own thoughts are that I would definitely want to meet where possible before starting to talk about intimate things and two days is not trying to rush things.  I have met people the same day as we first emailed and I had no qualms about this.  It was a coffee in a public place with someone who may or may not turn out to be someone cool.  At the very least I got to get out to a nice cafe for a drink, in the particular situation I am thinking about it ended up being a coffee followed by another and another, a quick shower at home and then dinner that evening with him and so on.

By meeting early you don't have time to build up often unrealistic expectations, you haven't had the long conversations about needs and wants, you haven't built up this picture of the other person and started thinking about how perfect a fit they are for you... my feeling is that the longer you wait to meet someone, the more chance that the image built up is incorrect and thus more likelihood of being disappointed.

My opinion only of course

let us know how it goes Llyren and happy new year


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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:48:39 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		one last thing and i'm out

did anybody notice his interest in her nipples so soon?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:50:39 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond
in this case i will step away, there are already two many threads on these boards gone that way due to your comments.

Just post as though he doesn't exist.  You previous point was well taken, and I wish more people understood it.  99% of life really is about showing up, and showing up for coffee or dinner isn't going to get you killed, even if you really are drinking coffee with Charles Manson.

Please don't let a fool turn you into a mute.



Thanks for this :)

I meant more step away from being baited into a potential argument as to a troll any attention is good attention, not that I was going to leave the boards/thread - don't get rid of me that easy ;)

My advice to the OP would be that yep, if he is comfortable enough to be wishing to discuss your nipples and other intimate parts of you, then he should be comfortable enough to at least begin discussions of a rl meeting, even if that be a 100% vanilla meeting in a vanilla setting like your local coffee bar.
In all honesty I would be inclined to advise that I'd prefer to wait until after meeting before such intimacys are discussed - if he wishes to take more time talknig before meeting then it is his right, but theres no reason why you should discuss such personal subjects with a man you've never met.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:54:05 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


By meeting early you don't have time to build up often unrealistic expectations, you haven't had the long conversations about needs and wants, you haven't built up this picture of the other person and started thinking about how perfect a fit they are for you... my feeling is that the longer you wait to meet someone, the more chance that the image built up is incorrect and thus more likelihood of being disappointed.




I agree 100% with this

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sub Frenzy? - 1/1/2010 6:55:47 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

one last thing and i'm out

did anybody notice his interest in her nipples so soon?


This is an adult bdsm site - no surprise that for some people, initial conversations can be sexual if they feel comfortable with it.  It may not be my preference but I can understand that it works for others.

If I recall correctly, Llyren's post was about wanting to meet before this talk continued so yes the nipple talk was noticed by others I am sure.

grins.... Llyren, maybe you should start a new topic about your nipples..... just an idea


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 40
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