I live with a man who is a Dom, but as of late we are not Dom sub/at home, but rather in what he's termed a vanilla relationship. It's still mostly he's Dominant in our relationship & I still submit as it's our nature and can't be helped, but more now a partnership than a 24/7 D/s mentality now.
The way this works for us is not the way most think it works, but it's comfortable for us.
He has a sub that's accepted all along I am his primary partner. He wants to be poly with her and maybe one other only if there's a huge connection & to play with others without genital-to-genital contact involved in it in our public community from time to time.
I on the other hand don't at this time I feel I have the capacity to love deeply two men at the same time. It's just not me as I feel it spreads me over too much for me to be poly myself. I am permitted an open relationship where I seek a couple of Top/Dom men to let me submit to them from time to time in full contact private and to play with no genital contact with those I choose to in public community things like dungeons & play parties. Over all I want good trusted friends to share my journey, time and play with.
My Mom and Dad, Sister, 22yr old Daughter, 18yr old Son, Friends, Co-workers & most associates know I am in a mulit partner option lifestyle and accept that works for me. His family accepts us as we are. Both his sub and myself have attended family parties, events & funerals. I have not brought another man to my parents events yet as I have not been lucky enough to find a man I'd feel was a close enough friend to want him to go. Even then my family knows if I do bring someone he's just a friend with benefits and not a full partner.
I explain it to those that ask me how it works pretty much using the verbiage of what I learned in the ethical slut. I feel to share my intimate nature with more than one does not take away anything from me or my primary relationship, but rather adds more experiences of joy, freedom to grow, and connections that run deep with others than I could have had otherwise. As long as no one's cheating and all honestly accept the ground rules why shouldn't I be allowed to be happy the way I choose? Last I've heard in the USA I still have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness don't I? I feel it is a plus as I feel more alive, secure, inspired, desired, loved, cared for, and free to follow my own dreams now more than ever before.
This is my choice to make and I've made it. If you choose to not associate with me for who I am I can accept that, but can you? Is the way I point out it's OK to think something else works for you from my side of it.
I personally have no guilt or fear associated with choosing to live differently than others. I live my life with integrity and honesty. I like who I am and feel no shame in my choices.
I just found BDSM & my ability to accept my desire for multiple partners at the same time a little over a year ago. At that time my habits, attire, and focus changed drastically. Most of the people who noticed my life dramatically change on the surface of me that ask me what had changed got the truth and thought it was cool. Some of them even have changed their perspectives and are exploring other options in their own life. Most women business associates either think I'm going through a mid-life crisis or just plain got my grove going on. Even those that don't find my erotic nature something they'd enjoy can accept I'm still the same person I've been all along and agree we disagree. I guess I've just been lucky that no one thinks it's a big deal. .