I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one

I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (Full Version)

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osf -> I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:10:18 AM)
I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one but what do they think a dom is?

GabrielleSlave -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:35:51 AM)
Surely 'they' will all have their own definition.....

Mercnbeth -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:37:22 AM)
Many (most?) don't know and don't post about "what a dom is", or from the other side, "what a sub is". They are however, VERY, precise, clear, and have a concept of what a dom, or 'their' dom/sub is not. Usually they get those concepts from observing posts and perceive behavior, personality, and ability from the words the dom/sub write. Worse case, they see behavior conveyed in such a way that they forget about pursuing any relationship not wanting any part of the person behind the persona; deciding they are better off without dominance or submission in their life if the image being conveyed is typical of a 'lifestyle' participant. Unfortunately many think and say "all" making universal assumptions and projecting, if not actually believing, in a 'one true way'. Some come here and, through their posts, convey a pyramid hierarchy of needs so pointed that a pin is at it's peak; then wonder why a submissive (or dom) isn't dancing on the point; when they believed, and expected since this 'lifestyle' they 'discovered' was full of 'submissives', all that was necessary was to label yourself a 'dom' and he would be able to count and choose from the many dancing on the point.

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:37:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave Surely 'they' will all have their own definition..... that's what i want to know what is their definition as individuals, and is there any commonality to be found in all their definitions just curious

littlewonder -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:43:02 AM)
a man with a dominant personality, a man with the ability to lead. My dominant...a man with those characteristics and who happens to be compatible with me on many other levels of life.

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:47:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Many (most?) don't know and don't post about "what a dom is", or from the other side, "what a sub is". They are however, VERY, precise, clear, and have a concept of what a dom, or 'their' dom/sub is not. Usually they get those concepts from observing posts and perceive behavior, personality, and ability from the words the dom/sub write. Worse case, they see behavior conveyed in such a way that they forget about pursuing any relationship not wanting any part of the person behind the persona; deciding they are better off without dominance or submission in their life if the image being conveyed is typical of a 'lifestyle' participant. Unfortunately many think and say "all" making universal assumptions and projecting, if not actually believing, in a 'one true way'. Some come here and, through their posts, convey a pyramid hierarchy of needs so pointed that a pin is at it's peak; then wonder why a submissive (or dom) isn't dancing on the point; when they believed, and expected since this 'lifestyle' they 'discovered' was full of 'submissives', all that was necessary was to label yourself a 'dom' and he would be able to count and choose from the many dancing on the point. all have their ideas of what they want and if they state as well as they can understand what they are that's fine and i cheer them on but they have to understand that based on how wide or narrow those wants are ,are the chances of fulfilling them, for my part my wants are very narrowly focused, but then i understand and accept that it lowers my pool of available partners it's my choice and i have to live with the consequences of that choice maybe a unintended consequence of this question will be to bring that fact home to some that may not have considered it

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:49:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder a man with a dominant personality, a man with the ability to lead. My dominant...a man with those characteristics and who happens to be compatible with me on many other levels of life. sorry, that's a sales pitch and doesn't really tell us much every man on here will say he matches that definition are you willing to settle for anyman? let's hope not

chiaThePet -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:50:23 AM)
Eight inches or more. chia* (the pet)

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:51:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Eight inches or more. chia* (the pet) ok, here's somebody that knows what they want

tsatske -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 7:59:14 AM)
I used this on another thread, but, since I already admited it is stolen, I think I will use it again. As someone said, no one can define 'Dom', I can only speak to what I look for: This desribes why I do TPE. "Someone who will pick you up, brush you off, and set you running again, knowing you will probably fall a few times. Someone who lets you find your way, but steers you back when you veer off of the path. Someone who will hold you when you cry, admonish you when you don't follow the rules, burst with pride when you succeed, and is there even if you fail. Someone who will listen, suggest, and be your best friend. Someone who will teach, help, and show strength and support. Someone who naturally nurtures and is not afraid to love and be loved."

mc1234 -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:03:14 AM)
Well, I look at it a bit differently. I didn't want a 'dom'. Searching for a 'dom' didn't get me anywhere but frustrated. I wanted a relationship. With a man who wanted to take the lead role within that relationship, and who I could trust doing so. I wanted a guy I liked, enjoyed, was on par with me intellectually, emotionally and sexually and who I could make smile and vice versa. As my E puts it - when you're with someone and you never feel the need to put the tv on ... it's all good. The D/s and kink stuff just fell into place.

kyraofMists -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:04:49 AM)
In the context of a d/s relationship that dominant partner is the one who has the authority in the relationship. Outside of that relationship, they are just a person who may end up in control or having authority in some interactions with other people. To me, dominant and submissive are descriptors for how people prefer to interact in the intimate relationships. It may also describe how they tend to act with others. However, I am not going to assume that just because a person calls themselves dominant means that they even want to have any autority over me. Just like I do not expect them to assume that because I am a slave in my intimate relationship that they will have any authority over me. Who I perceive as dominant, meaning I perceive that they are dominant to me, is something else entirely different. I can't explain what it is that makes me perceive them that way. They have a certain something that resonates with me and my first reaction is to obey them. There are not many people who effect me that way. Knight's Kyra

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:05:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske I used this on another thread, but, since I already admited it is stolen, I think I will use it again. As someone said, no one can define 'Dom', I can only speak to what I look for: This desribes why I do TPE. "Someone who will pick you up, brush you off, and set you running again, knowing you will probably fall a few times. Someone who lets you find your way, but steers you back when you veer off of the path. Someone who will hold you when you cry, admonish you when you don't follow the rules, burst with pride when you succeed, and is there even if you fail. Someone who will listen, suggest, and be your best friend. Someone who will teach, help, and show strength and support. Someone who naturally nurtures and is not afraid to love and be loved." i have a question suppose you find/have someone like that, what do you think his motives would be for that?

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:06:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 Well, I look at it a bit differently. I didn't want a 'dom'. Searching for a 'dom' didn't get me anywhere but frustrated. I wanted a relationship. With a man who wanted to take the lead role within that relationship, and who I could trust doing so. I wanted a guy I liked, enjoyed, was on par with me intellectually, emotionally and sexually and who I could make smile and vice versa. As my E puts it - when you're with someone and you never feel the need to put the tv on ... it's all good. The D/s and kink stuff just fell into place. that's in the direction of my thinking

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:08:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists In the context of a d/s relationship that dominant partner is the one who has the authority in the relationship. Outside of that relationship, they are just a person who may end up in control or having authority in some interactions with other people. To me, dominant and submissive are descriptors for how people prefer to interact in the intimate relationships. It may also describe how they tend to act with others. However, I am not going to assume that just because a person calls themselves dominant means that they even want to have any autority over me. Just like I do not expect them to assume that because I am a slave in my intimate relationship that they will have any authority over me. Who I perceive as dominant, meaning I perceive that they are dominant to me, is something else entirely different. I can't explain what it is that makes me perceive them that way. They have a certain something that resonates with me and my first reaction is to obey them. There are not many people who effect me that way. Knight's Kyra i mostly concur

littlewonder -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:08:29 AM)
did you miss the part I said "and compatibilities on many other levels"?

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:10:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder did you miss the part I said "and compatibilities on many other levels"? compatibility doesn't really describe the thing in and of itself

littlewonder -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:15:29 AM)
dominant: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others. Very important, powerful, or successful. Overlooking and commanding from a superior position. Of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance. Being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action compatible: capable of existing together in harmony

osf -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:19:11 AM)
quote: dominant: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others. Very important, powerful, or successful. Overlooking and commanding from a superior position. Of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance. Being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action all very true, but what have they to do with you is the question

littlewonder -> RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one (1/3/2010 8:23:01 AM)
what do they have to do with me? That's what a dominant man is to me? That's what I seek?? <scratches head like she does a lot on these forums these days>

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